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Mental health

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Original poster

I am such a failure

12 replies

nutcackle · 04/10/2005 09:49

Am supposed to be at college today but i'm not i'm here. I did get up and get ready and fully intended to go, got to the bus stop with Ds in plenty of time but 3 buses decided to go straight past me because they were full of kids and so what did i do ? I gave up and went home

When i signed up for the course it stated it would start at 10 which was perfect for me. They have changed it to 9 which i wasn't pleased about but was quite prepared to give it a go if it was do-able which it seems it's not.

Just spoken to my mom who basically said i give up to easily and I know she's right but my hearts just not in it. I sat there the first 2 weeks thinking how bored i was and that i shouldn't be there. Was relieved when the bus wouldn't let me on even.

I just wanna slap myself and tell myself to get a grip and do something but I just can't confidently decide what to do.

I am a failure plain and simple.

OP posts:

Lonelywitch · 04/10/2005 09:51

Is the course leading anywhere? If not, then I can imagine it is hard to motivate yourself, but if it is leading somewhere, you must try to fix on that end goal. Hope I am not sounding too much like your mother!

Original poster

nutcackle · 04/10/2005 09:54

It's an access course which should lead to uni for a 3 yr nursing diploma.

Problem is i'm not sure if i want to do nursing, not cos i don't want to but more because I know i wouldn't handle the shifts, juggling of kids very well. I like to be ther to take and fetch my kids from school, go to their assemblies etc and I know that would have to stop some of the time.

The access course can only lead to uni, i can't do it and then get a job and i think thats what putting me off too.

OP posts:

Lonelywitch · 04/10/2005 10:00

Yes, it is a long road you face, isn't it? Must be hard to keep motivated. Well, only you know how much you want to do the nursing. What would you do if you didn't do the access course?

Original poster

nutcackle · 04/10/2005 10:04

If I knew that i'd be a happy woman. Feel like when i was at school and everyone but me knew what they wanted to do with their life.

I hadn't a clue. Ended up doing a YTS scheme in Bewise, got paid peanuts for working 40 hours a week. Guess what ? I left after 2 weeks.

I think I want something that is gonna fit in with the kids really.

Was going through the jb ads the other day and did see an ad that made me think 'oh i'd love to do that'. It was for a TA in a school for deaf children.

OP posts:

Lonelywitch · 04/10/2005 10:10

I have to say, nursing seems like one of the least likely jobs to fit with having children because of the shifts, unless you could become a school nurse or something similar, but that would be years down the line.

Loads of mums become TA's because of the good hours and the school holidays, but I don't think it pays much does it? Could you inquire about the job you saw? You don't have to commit to anything just because you ring up and ask about it.

Original poster

nutcackle · 04/10/2005 10:13

Unfortunatly the job was over the other side of the city and I don't drive, plus you had to be fluent in BSL.

Have just checked out some BSL courses but they have all already started now.

OP posts:

3PRINCESSES · 04/10/2005 10:28

Could you get in touch with the school and enquire about the possibility of helping out on a voluntary basis for an afternoon a week or so? That way you could find out if you do like it, and make a start on learning BSL, ready for when you can get onto a course. Plus, if any other vacancies came up you'd be first in the queue.

Original poster

nutcackle · 04/10/2005 10:58

I could try that in January once Ds starts nursery yep.

OP posts:

UlyseesSpirits · 04/10/2005 11:06

I know how you feel nutty. I find it hard to motivate myself a lot of the time as I get bored easily. There's no way I could cope with going to uni or having a full time job now. I had one for 14 years but didn't enjoy it.
Going off track a bit but I've just read an article on adult ADD and it rang true quite a bit with me so I found a checklist online. One of the symptoms being going off track... I'm soooo disorganised in the home and that's a major factor too.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking. Hope you find what you want to do in the future hun.

Original poster

nutcackle · 04/10/2005 11:08

LOL your post did make me chuckle which is no mean feat today so thanks

I am also very disorganised in the home lately, just have no enthusiasm for anything.

TBH I think a major part of my prob is that I feel like certain people think I should be doing something other than raising my 3 kids and are looking down on me because I am not.

I am quite happy being a SAHM, sometimes bored yes but certainly not raring to go get a career, which alot of people seem to think is wrong.

OP posts:

UlyseesSpirits · 04/10/2005 11:11

Yes ikwym about others opinions. Try not to let them get to you though as I know some of my working mum friends have admitted to me that they're either envious that I'm so content to stay at home or else they'd rather do anything than be with their kids all the time. Mind you both of mine are at school now as from this sept and I had so many plans. Organising the house was one of them

dweebusdad · 04/10/2005 15:43

hey fellow nut
Don't know what your rush is to get educated as ds so young, and other kids in house. I left career to raise 3 kids, and am glad I did. If you're unsure about giving up time to study/train then work may well be even harder. Part time work has worked well for me both paid and voluntary, as its flexible so suits holidays. Also have helped out at school over the years, this is now much more important to schools as staffing has changed. Only now that kids are teenage, am I looking forward to retraining and returning to work fulltime. If I'd listened to advice from others, I could well have had a childminder raise kids while I worked fulltime...not for me.

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