A Thread For Those Of Us Who Dread The School Run

[boolifooli]

That's it really. I feel anxious about it. Anyone got any tips?

I don't do one - ds goes to special school and is picked up from home by school transport, so no "mum's get together" at the school gate. I'd love to do a school run. (all other kids taken by bus too so even if I went I'd be on my own)

What don't you like about it boolifooli?

I think it feels like social anxiety, feeling nervous about doing small talk and not letting on how anxious I feel.

I think you'd be surprised how many people feel exactly the same. I'm quite a confident, chatty person but I always feel a sinking feeling going into the playground. It always feels such an effort. Sometimes I turn up late so dd is last one there to avoid the hordes! Ds has walked to and from school on his own since yr3 simply because I can't be bothered to make small talk in the yard! Anyway, you'd never guess as I'm quite involved in school life/ active member of PTA friends with lots of the mums outside of school etc. But the pick up drop off is soooooo tedious!! What im saying is I reckon everyone feels the same

I always feel stressed and anxious doing the school run. There are so many people there and I feel frightened and overwhelmed, as soon as I walk through the gates I get self concious but on the outside I dont look it. Many people probably think I am being silly I can go to a busy shop or something but not a busy area where people expect me to talk anyway no advice but wanted to add support.

Yes, I am awful at small talk. Can never think of anything to say and get really nervous when anyone tals to me.You are not alone.

I dread dropping LO off at nursery. I always feel like im being judged cos in my area its VERY unusual to find a single 25 year old mum with a 2 year old still living with her parents.

I am usually surrounded by 30 somethings with there 4x4s and loving husbands

Theres one woman in particular who seems to be the "popular" one who works in the pharmacy where I used to pick up my medication and I always worry she has told people I'm crazy

Hope it's OK to post on here, I've my own thread active right now re. my possible depression...

I also have this fear of the school run. All the other mums seem so super confident and all great friends who get together outside of school and socialise with their husbands too.

Am very jealous and would love to have the confidence to be part of it all. As it is I just wait till the very last moment when most kids are out and run to get my DD - bless her.

Before I was diagnosed with depression, the school run was something I really hated. I would stand there close to tears, feeling very isolated. I completely withdrew into myself. I was aware of other mums chatting, but it was like I was in a bubble.

It is only now after treatment, I can see how ill I was. I still have days when I find socialising difficult but it has got easier.

I think you'd all be surprised how many people feel the same.

IMO it brings back the school girl playground issues which is why people tend to latch on to others and huddle together in little groups so that they don't feel the odd one out.

Yes it's exactly like that:)

FRIKADELA: Take no notice, if people are looking at you, it's probably cos they are jealous of your wrinkle free skin. I know exactly what you maen about the seeming perfect 2.4 families but don't worry, they'll have their own problems just a different set to yours is all!

I was diagnosed with depression about 18 months ago when I couldn't face the school run and was reduced to constant crying with the anxiety of it all and the dread.

I hd talked to other mums who all, without exception, say that find the school run hard, but I get tht for some of us, it's not just hard, it's impossible.

Are you depressed. These days (after more than a year of counselling and 18 months of medication) I still hate the school run but I think I now hate it only as much as every other mum there who isn't depressed.

I try to turn up on time (I would turn up really late in a bid to try and avoid it, such a bad idea, my poor DC's!) and I stand in one of three places and only talk if I feel like it. Remember you don't have to talk. I always say hello to people though.

My DC's are Y2 now and I still loathe it, but little by little it has improved. I doubt I'll ever think it's (even) OK though.

My advice? Go and have a chat with your doctor if you feel the need and let them judge whether what you're feeling is normal or not. Also, don't feel obliged to talk, an acknowledgment of others will do.

Thanks nowonthepill of course your right, still cant get that idea out of my head.

A very close friend of mine who has what seems like a perfect family once told me she was insanely jealous because I would still be young when my DD was grown up and had live in babysitters!

I suppose its the classic case of you cant always rely on appearances.

Ps. Miss"Popular" actually approached me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to yoga with the rest of her group. It was lovely and knackering. I wonder what sparked it...

Wow, I am glad I am not the only one hating the school run and waiting at the gate. All through last year, I made an effort to be extra friendly with the others. It did not work for me. Other mums are polite and diplomatic with me but they are friends with eachother. They have their own circles of trust.
I have been on Prozac for 6 weeks now and I recently stopped caring about the school run. I now stopped to be the first to say hello and how are you, (I only do polite answers); I carry a book, or a magazine or make a phone call or play a game on my mobile. Am I being rude? What else am I suppose to do? Stand there and feel the awkwardness?
It is only up to 10 minutes a day.

I do that Alice, fiddle with my phone or similar. Sometimes I make myself notice the other people standing on their own and they never look particularly approachable, and neither do I probably. How do you stand on your own but still look approachable?? Thing is I really don't want to just sucker onto an exisitng group of women. I actually want to make a new group :)

I hate it so much ~ I send DP to do it so now, when I'm having days of positivity I go collect or drop off and I always get comments from the staff. Rotten witches.

Hi elephant, sometimes I feel better and surprise myself by probably looking near normal. What horrible stuff are the staff saying Elephant?

So many of the other parents are unfriendly, i cant even tell any more how much initial unfriendliness made me withdrawn and seem unfriendly, perpetuating a vicious circle. I feel drained some days by being ignored

I wish I could talk to people more freely. I'm so crap at starting conversations. It's horrid to feel like you're being ignored, like you're invisible. The groups seem so impenetrable. I don't want to cling to a group, I just want to talk to lots of different people but sometimes I feel such a crap person that I have so little confidence.