I have just got back from a 2 week holiday which was doing me a world of good until xmas day, thats when it really hit that this will be the first of many christmases raising 2 kids alone, seeing all the two parent families really got to me and since then been thinking of how I can get my ex back for what he has done.
I have not been taking my citalopram, as I simply keep forgetting, i've not been sleeping too well since coming back from the holiday so really tired, my sister has been a royal pain since I got back moaning about me not telling her I was back in the uk as she was looking after my cat/house (I landed at 5am...I text her the same day at 2.30pm after sleeping but apparently that was wrong according to her and should have told her sooner)
I had to email ex today regarding the money he sends me and at the same time asked him about or sons school and everytime I ask he makes out like he does not have the money, I know he does as he left the uk to work in Bahrain so on tax free salary and the plan was always to send our son to a private school regardless of the country we were in or together or not, but now he would rather spend it on his new bit and himself rather than the future of our child, I know the fact that he is still giving me the money he does is a bonus as this is a man who has totally refused to now have anything to do with his son, doesnt even ask after him, his whole family want nothing to do with my son either either, but i cant help but feel so angry and bitter towards him, I have been very tearful all day, not eating and not wanting to cook or clean. I wont have contact with my therapist until tuesday but I can feel myself feeling worse as the days go on