Struggling to cope with this anxiety :(

[Marne]

I hate this time of year, i love x-mas but because of my anxiety around illness christmas allways gets ruined . I am so saired of the dd's getting sick and even more me getting sick that i lay awake at night incase one of them vomits.

Both dd's are just getting over chicken pox and dd2 has just had a vomiting bug/virus, 2 days ago i came down with it but from the help of anti-sickness medication i have not been sick (just the other syptoms), this morning i ran out of my medication and had to beg my suregery to put a presription through for me straight away as i was shaking with fear at the thought of vomiting. I have shut myself upstairs for 2 days as i am so worried dd1 will get it and it will ruin x-mas for her, tomorrow i have to come downstairs to look after the dd's as my husband is back to work. I havn't eaten for 6 days (sinse dd2 came down with the bug) appart from 1 peice of toast, i don't feel like eating, i'm not sure if this is due to the bug or my anxiety.

I'm also worried that my dd's will catch something at school, i have taken dd2 out of school because her amune system is so lo, she just got over the bug and she can not handle all the x-mas things at school (she has ASD), Dd1 has 3 days left at school and i cant wait to have her home away from all the bugs at school.

I feel like i'm loosing my mind and i don't feel like im coping, if dd1 comes down with anything i don't know how i will keep it together. Dh has been a great help looking after dd1 when dd2 and i have been unwell but it feels like i'm on my own when it comes to looking after sick dd's.

I am seeing a counceller and my next appointment is on friday, i have had CBT, hypnotherapy and exposure therapy but i cant beat this .

I don't know where to go from here, it feels like its taking over my whole life, i want to look forward to spending x-mas with dh and the girls but i don't know if i can.

Sorry for the long post. Just hoped someone would understand how i am feeling.

Fingers crossed for you becky. I hate facebook at the moment, every time i go on there someone is moaning that their children have d&v or they have flu (i would rather not know).

I have to go out tomorrow and get all the veg for x-mas lunch, i'm thinking of going very early to avoid all the crouds of ill people .

I'm so glad to have found this thread. I am exactly the same and am having major anxiety attacks at the moment. I have kept my 2 year in the house pretty much since lst Friday to keep her away from everyone and all bugs! God writing that down sounds neurotic!

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago as I was getting totally out of control, not sleeping due to worrying me/husband/child might be sick, not eating etc and the dr prescribed Citrapram. However, I havent actually taken it yet as the side effects say vomiting! Helpful for an emetophobic person.

I have booked some hypnotherapy for next tuesday and start CBT in January. I am determined not to let this beat me anymore. I want to be normal, be able to go out to pubs, eat in restaurants without panicking and at the moment nothing is possible.

Hi nickino, glad you managed to go to the Gp and are starting therapy, its such a nasty phobia. My dh took citrapram for a while and had no major side effects, i hope it helps you. I really hate this time of year because there are so many bugs around. I did my x-mas food shop this morning at 7.30am to avoid being around too many people . I don't go to pubs or clubs and can't use public transport because of this nasty phobia.

I hope the hypnotherapy and CBT work for you.

Dh has just been sick and I feel awful and I've got the other end going on. I feel shivery and really unwell :(

Please, please, please may I not be sick :(

Fingers crossed for you becky

I'm back and I'm ok! I wasn't sick and in fact I've had it really mildly all in all. The worst symptom was the shivers and achy body - but I was woken up at 3.45am by DS2 being sick. DH is much better today too - eating his breakfast. So Christmas might not be too bad after all and I can stop worrying now at least! DS3 is still fine, eathing everything in sight.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Happy Christmas Becky! Am a lurking emetophobe and popped by this morning to see how you are. Phew.....

So glad you are ok, was thinking about you last night (as i lay awake with tooth ache). It seems to be a 12-24 hour thing so hopfully you dh and ds will be fine before tomorrow. Look at it this way 'you have all had it now so should be ok for the rest of the winter (hopfully a lot longer). Hope you have a great christmas xxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you Marne sorry to hear about your tooth ache though...

Hello Peanuthead!

I feel much better today, mainly just knowing the worry is gone. DS3 might still get it though but he's managed not to so far, which is pretty impressive for a 13 month old!

Becky- one of my other fears is the denist, i hate going (hav'nt been for 2 years) but the pain is getting to the point where i will give in and go, i have now taken too many pain killers and i feel sick so will have to take my anti-sickness tablets. Fingers crossed the pain will ease for tomorrow as i have no chance of finding a denist on x-mas day.

Oh Marne poor you :(. I hope it doesn't spoil your day today - I'm up and awake too excited to sleep!

Hope you had a nice day Becky, i was up all night x-mas eve (a mixture of excitement, anxiety and too many pain killers), spent most the night sat on the loo and got myself in a rite state . I still managed to cook x-mas dinner and entertain everyone. I was so worried dd1 was going to be ill, i could not get her to sleep until 11pm then i was stressing about feeding everyone the next day.

Luckily my mums partner gave me some of his pain killers for the tooth ache and they are so strong they don't only take away the pain but they made me relax (i didn't really care what was going on, and last night i slept like a log) .

Phew what a day! Sorry you were up all night Christmas Eve but glad you slept last night! I couldn't sleep last night I was too wired from the excitement of Christmas Day. I am always like that on Christmas Day night - feel like a zombie today. Just want to lie down all day :(

I'm off to the dentist tomorrow (facing my worst fear), i have an abcess so i can't really leave it any longer. Not looking forward to having to go to the hospital (out of hours) where there maybe a chance of catching other things (sounds mad) also worried they will take my tooth out (i'm such a wimp). I hope you get some sleep tonight, i slept like a log last night after taking a pain killer .

Marne I will send you anxiety-free vibes tomorrow. Whatever happens they will sort out the pain for you.

I've just had a humbling phone call from my oldest friend (we were at school together - we don't speak often but we've kept in touch even when living in different countries, etc). Her dad has been given a 50/50 chance of survival from liver cancer and is really quite poorly at the moment and she might be made redundant in January (she's a single parent). Oh my. Makes me feel so selfish for my woes and worries. I feel for her.

I know what you mean about feeling selfish , my cousins husband has just gone through chemo and was very poorly. Hope your friends dad pulls through and she manages not to loose her job.

Hi,

Im going through an awful time with anxiety..I dont have a fear of vomitting as such. I have an awful fear of dying or being sick. It all started when i had my ds's, Im so scared of dying and them growing up without a mother. Im scared of vomiting in a way as i know if i vomit i will think it is because of something serious. I also have this fear im going to collapse in public like on the train or when im out for a few drinks. its taking over my life. Even tonight my mam has offered to babysit for dp and i and i had to say no as im having an anxious night and i know id panic if i went out..Sorry im rambling a bit here..I seem to worry about brain illnesses he most. like brain tumours, brain clots etc.

My doctor prescribed lexapro and xanex to me a few months ago but i never got them. I wanted to beat this through councelling etc but i keep putting everything off..I know if i dont start trying to help myself this is going to get out of control. Its my new years resolution to sort this out. if i cant do it with therepy alone i will have to take the medication.

Only Dp and my best friend know about this. My best friend lives in oz and i only told her about it all last week in an email. god love her, she was so worried about me, she studied aromatherapy in college and has given me a list of essential oils to buy and burn them.

im sorry for rambling, i just needed to get a few things off my chest. hope everyone is ok xxx

Oh god DS2's two best friends at school have come down with a really bad sickness bug :( He sits on their table at school. DH thinks it is probably the same bug we had before Christmas but I'm still panicking nonetheless. Can't deal with another one so soon.