Panic attack about being ill..

[treefrog44]

I don't know if anyone else feels like and can give me some advice on how to cope. Recently I have been having major panics if I get ill at all that there is something seriously wrong with me, I know that I am being irrational but it doesn't stop my feeling of panic that just sweeps over me and I end up feeling really sick and really upset. I worry and worry, even if its just a sore throat and I feel so silly for doing it but I just can't help it. I have a DS who is nearly one and I have given up work to care for him. Does anyone else every have this? How did you deal with it?

Yes, yes, yes. I have a 3.5 Ds and 13 DD. The whole of 2010 has been plagued with massive anxiety about my health - I have seen 3 different specialists and had loads of tests - CAT scans, MRIs, endscopies, endless bloodwork - all came back absolutely fine. Yet I was convinced there was something terribly wrong with me that everyone was missing.

I've now accepted all the physical symptoms were stemming from anxiety - probably triggered by birth of my daughter. I actually remember putting away our Xmas decorations last year and thinking I bet I'm not here to put these up in 2010. Well, here I am, and according to my GP I've got 'neglected Post Natal Depression'. I let this go on far too long and only accepted my real problem a few weeks ago when I started anti-deps. Having a bit of a rocky time of it, but at least know this is one condition that I will recover from - unlike the zillion other terminal illnesses I've thought I've had during the last year.

The big thing I have learnt is that this state of mind is INCREDIBLY COMMON among new mums - GPS see it all the time and are very used to dealing with it. You're probably not at the stage of needing medication - simply recognising it for what it is might be enough to start re-building your outlook. I hope some of this is helpful. Must change my name, what a downer xx

Thank you so much I am so glad I am not the only one, I have been feeling so lonely like I can't tell anyone how i'm really feeling because they just won't understand as it sounds silly. I tried telling my DH and he tried to be understanding but didn't really get quite how helpless I feel and how hard it is feeling like this all the time and not being able to stop it happening!! Sometimes I can control it and I will have a bad 2/3 days then manage to stop but the last three weeks have just been awful, its been everyday all the time and its just makes everything so hard! I don't think it helps that I don't know that many people where I live so I spend a lot of time on my own, and the people I do know I just don't feel I can talk to about it.

Bless you - it all sounds so familiar to me - I also gave up work to look after my children having only recently moved house so don't have massive local support network either. I'd really recommend a chat with your GP though - there's nothing silly about you're feeling - it's a reaction to the massive (and wonderful) responsibility of looking after your child. Keep chatting here too x

hi treefrog and feelingcrappy... your posts ring bells with me too, especially the OP.

I was recently convinced that i had poisoned myself with prescribed medicine (taking it at directed!). Like you say, I KNEW it was irrational. So how do you stop that feeling welling up inside you?? I don't know. I usually end up being sick. And getting grumpy when people explain that it is irrational

I would love to get a better grasp on these episodes. Have either of you managed to recognise any triggers? Mine always happen when I'm less busy than usual. More time to imagine health problems etc I suppose.

No treefrog - as you can see you are not the only one. I also have health anxiety although I have it under control at the moment. After DS was born (he's now 8) I wnt through exactly what you describe and talked myself into all manner of serious illnesses - mainly cancers of various descriptions. I had always done this to a certain extent but it escalated after DS was born
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Like you I knew I was being irrational but the rational part of me could not stop the irrational stuff.

What has helped me no end are a couple of websites.

One is No More Panic here which has a fantastic forum and a dedicated section just for us health anxiety sufferers. You probably know already that the panic attacks and health fears are your body's response to stress. The website explains the physical side of a panic atack much more and describes why you get various symptoms.

The other website I found very helpful and still revisit occasionally is Living Life to the Full which is an online CBT course. The course is free and funded by NHS Scotland. It is absolutely brilliant and taught me so much about how my thought processes catastrophize things. Just knowing that this is what I do is very powerful and probably behind my control over the health anxiety now. I'm not cured - occasionally I still talk myself into all manner of things especially when life is stressful. The CBT website is www.livinglifetothefull.co.uk .

whiteflame - I have always been a bit like it, normally its triggered by the same thing as yours, when I haven't got much on - I will have a quite week with no one to meet up with so I spend it just me and DS and it seems to give me more time to start worrying about these things.

I think this recent really bad episode has been triggered by my Grandma dying, we were very close and she was the one I would ring up when I was feeling a bit lonely or down. I don't really have that much other family and I suddenly feel like I have no one so I am channeling all that into a big panic about my health.

Even knowing that (and writing this now) doesn't stop it though, I am still feeling sick and paniky as I write this.

Hopelesslydisorganised - thanks for the links I am going to read them now!

Its such a relief to be able to talk to people that understand and feel the same way.

thanks for those links hopelesslydisorganised, i am going to have a good look at them this evening.

it certainly is a relief treefrog, thanks for posting. I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma.

Like you I have always been prone to health anxiety, but don't really understand why it's got worse recently. I don't have kids. I've recently moved to the other side of the world though, and at the moment I'm here alone. So lots of time for imaginings.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you/have you done do as a job treefrog (or others)? I'm a researcher, in a position where nitpicking about virtually impossible things that COULD happen is essential. I always wonder if this has skewed my view of just how uncommon unlikely events are, if you see what i mean.

LOL I am a HV so have a background in nursing. I know too much about the body but not enough to be rational. Alittle bit of knowledge and all that.......

I'm a web developer so no real connection there, although you do have to think through every possible scenario that could happen so in a way I was always looking for the unlikely!

Oh god, cant believe there are others going through this! I am nearly crying wih relief, I have been suffering since dd2 was born two years ago, fear of illness in any form, mainly scared I have a cancer the docs are missing, I have had tons of water infections since the birth, bleeding from back passage (piles and ibs) been pres beta blockers and anti depressants but im too scared to take them, cbt but it didnt work, on waiting list for new therapy but it will be about 8 months! Just want to be a normal happy healthy mum :(

Hi Beaches, that sounds horrendous. I hope it helps a little that you're not alone. I have been going through a bad patch the past few weeks. Not helped by the fact that when I eventually went to the doctors, it turned out I was actually not being paranoid. Nothing major, but still. Sigh.

Hang in there