Help

[jerin]

I'm not coping with my 3 children. Help! DPs at work and I find they play up so much with me. The last few days I've been losing my temper with them, screaming at them and it's scaring me. I really don't want to Ne like this. They are 3 and twin 22 month olds. I tell one to stop climbing the bookshelf and the other two start. They just seem so unruly. I should have gone for counseling that was offered after traumatic births but never had the time and now have developed quite a fear of doctors so can't bring myself to go. My eldest is screaming but I just can't deal with him. ... Please help

Poor you. It's so tough when they are small and having three under three must be utterly exhausting. I think the hours just before bedtime are the worst, with a lot of time spent saying 'no, don't do this' and 'stop it I told you'.

Can you put some TV on when you feel you have just had too much? Will they watch for very long?

Then take yourself away to calm down for a minute.

Do you have anyone else who can come and help out? Perhaps even a neighbour or a teenager who can distract and read some stories at the worst time of the day?

Thanks wasn't sure for a minute what I was gonna do..... I don't have anyone locally who could help unfortunately. You're right, the couple of hours before bed are the worst because they're tired. I'm just not sure how to control their behaviour as they egg each other on. Most of the time they are so much fun but I just need some time to get things done. I'm exhausted trying to keep on top of everything and organize Christmas in the evenings after they've gone to bed.

Of course you are exhausted. You have three very small people to try and keep calm. Frankly, it is near impossible to control them in that last hour before bed, even mine who are older can lose control totally just before bedtime.

Are there any nurseries or playgroups around where people help out? If so perhaps you could approach one of the people working there and ask if they could help out (if you can pay them?) for a couple of hours every other day just to give you a break. Others on here talk of a support service that comes to your home to help out, Surestart or something like that? Ask your GP or HV how you can get a bit of extra help.

You need to look after yourself too. Make sure you are eating and drinking properly. How often is DP home?

DP does shifts so he is usually here for bed times but not always. He has no problem with them- he claims they are well behaved until I walk in the room. And then they play up.

My eldest goes to nursery a couple of mornings a week and I'm going to increase this after Christmas and I'll look into putting the others in too.

They always play up more for me than dh.

The 3 year old should get nursery credits/pre school place soon shouldn't he? My youngest is 3 but I'm not in the UK so am a bit out of the system. He goes to school every morning and I find he really needs it.

Feel free to rant on here. Just remember you are not alone, we can all help you.

I'm off to bed now and will check in tomorrow.

I feel for you. My DH is in Brussells and I've really struggled with the last 24 hours or so - and mine are older (two of them are): 7, 4 and 1 years. I always get much more shouty when DH is away, and mine do play up for me at bathtime because they miss him, and it is a hard slog going from 7.30am-8pm with no help. I even shouted at the cat today and feel terrible about that too - she was eating DS2's dinner while he was doing a wee upstairs but still... You are not alone. It is hard :(