I neeed help right now

[PeachyPlum]

im sorry to be so pathetic but i feel like i cant breathe.

im just a bloody loon.

nothing is normal to me, something that is just a normal occourance to other people to other families turmns into a huge fucking deal for me and i cant do it anymore.

DH has gone, ive nnoyed him, upset him, he wont be back for hours

and theres no reason he shouldnt be there

apart from me being a loon

im left here with the kids

and no i cant call anyone

am trying to calm myself down doing an online hop but its just stressing me out more but we need some food

everything is SUCH an effort

i just want to sleep, i don't mean do anything stupid, i just mean i want to go to bed

i dont want to deal with anything anymore.

had to come off my tablets but im going to GP monday to tell them i NEED to go back on them

i wish DH would have stayed :(

Ok. How much do you need food?

Do you have no tins or anything in the freezer?

If not, do you have a local shop that your dh could nip to when he gets back from his high dudgeon?

Things you are doing well:

going back to GP
coming on here to talk
trying to distract yourself with shopping

DH being unhelpful - don't blame yourself, he chose to sod off for the day.

How urgent is the shopping? Is it a huge disaster if you just order milk bread cereal fruit etc - ie just staples and bother about the rest another day? Then at least you can flop on the sofa and put the children in front of the tv.

Poor you - you do sound upset. How old are the dcs?

we have basics but been living boff them for a few days and i feel like i need to get some proper measl s in for the kids.

small local shop but £££

no car, usually get a lift or online

DH isnt upsetting me

its me upsetting me

and in turn upsetting him

its not fair on him, he does everthing and i bite his head off

but i cant help it

thats who i am, im bad inside

hes not 'left' hes going to the thing that i cant go to, so gone alone, and i bollocked him for it because i cant cope for 2 fucking minutes alone

You are not bad inside - yes you may be difficult to live with on occasion, but aren't we all?

Do you want help with the shopping list? If you have enough to get by for a few days, leave it, it's not worth the stress. Be kind to yourself.

i cracked up

i called dh begging him to come home and he wont

Do you have a neighbour who can have the dcs while you lie down, or a friend who can come over? what about your family?

You are NOT bad, you're finding some things difficult, perfectly understandable if you've just come off medication.

If you can get by without the shopping, leave it for the moment, or have you got a previous order you can just repeat?

how long ago did you come off medication?

a few months

i thought i was ok at first but am not now

i can understand why he wont come he - he sees it as giving into me

but on this occasion its not me being controlling or needy i really need him to be here so i dont have to be

have made toast for the kids

am going to brink duvets down and put a film on

feel so embarresed his family must think im a maniac :(

Then his family are sadly ignorant and unkind.

PeachyPlum, I am a loon too
you are not bad inside, I know that's how you feel but it's not true
I know because I feel the same way

Have a hug, you maniac, we'll all be maniacs together.

How are you feeling now? Are you about to get some sleep?