why am i my own worst enemy?

[domesticdaisy]

i am so self-critical and self-doubting that i feel like i'm going mad! it's like a tape of negative statements playing over and over again in my head - everything from me not having 'enough' friends or looking bad to giving my children 'too much tv' or 'too few vegetables'!!
on and on it goes, all day long - why am i hardly ever positive?
i have always been like this to some extent but my current SAHM stage has made it much worse - plus i have recently moved to new area so am struggling with the meeting new people stage

Maybe you need to do something positive to cheer yourself up. Go on a course, get a p/t job, pamper yourself?

My DH has a book called something like "What to say when you talk to yourself" and although I take the mick out of him when he reads it or talks about it I think there is alot of truth in it.

If you tell yourself you are rubbish (for want of a better word), you'll believe it. You need to tell yourself positive stuff. How you make the change if you are stuck in a rut I am not so sure but perhaps that's where the book (might be worth searching on Amazon for it) comes in.

I do something similar except I set myself too many goals and feel disappointed at the end of the day that I have not accomplished half what I intended to when if I am honest with myself it was impossible to achieve it all anyway.

Hope you can find some answers soon and I'm sure someone will have some really good advice.

i am definitely in need of a break - a course or pampering would be great but my demands are just too great right now - my husband will be working non-stop for the next few weeks plus i now spend my evenings/weekends sharing care for my mum who is suffering with cancer. the book sounds interesting too - i really have to do something as it's just ruining my life and i worry that my miserable nature will rub off on my children.
to be honest, everyday life is really exhausting me and i am burnt out - i am really disappointed in myself - i had visions of being a cheery fun mum but the sheer slog of two under fours is just too much and i obviously am not as strong as i thought i was.

Don't be too hard on yourself, it sounds like you have alot on your plate just now.

can you arrange a mnet meet up in your area? I read more than I contribute but there seem to be some really nice people on here or are you able to get some outside support for you. I know what it like to get caught in the ' i need me time or i go in sane, but if i go insane there is everything will collapse vicious circle / downward spiral)

Hi domesticdaisy - I could have written what you have! Call me Mrs Negativity too! I can't seem to snap myself out of this state either! (in process of divorce and doesn't help either when soon to be xdh keeps telling me how negative I am!) I think that has made me even worse!!!!

I just seem to dig a hole and keep digging and it appears there is no way out! We are always full of excuses/reasons why we can't do anything about being more positive as well aren't we?! The word but !!! your comments "would be great...BUT..." - you sound just like me! So what are we going to do about it?

I was actually wondering if being hypnotised would work and being told to think more positively and look on the bright side of life??

Any thoughts anyone?

domesticdaisy and loulounz you both have loads to deal with right now and you're both doing a great job!

I have my days when I feel the same, plus full-time working mum guilt. Not so sure about hypnosis though - any information would be much appreciated.

hi everyone thank you so much for your responses
it's great to know i'm not alone in feeling negative loulounz - i wonder if hypnosis might be useful because my negativity is perhaps a habit that i could learn to break - a kind of addiction perhaps (easier to moan than make any changes etc.) do you think you have always had a negative mindset or did you become that way as a reaction to events? i think mine might stem from childhood where i felt very criticised.

Mine definitely came from a crap upbringing - never shown I was loved, left alone a lot, never encouraged to do or achieve etc. Think the negativity is more a lack of confidence and self worth isn't it! Unfortunately carried the negativity into my marriage and could have cost me my dh (but on a positive note I don't think I should completely take all the blame for him walking out on me and my dd's!) - hey I can be positive!!

I am going to go to counselling when I eventually move and hopefully get all the skeletons out of the closet, shut the door once and for all on my past and hopefully get to be more positive and move on with my life for the better! I will look into hypnotism as well I think, although I am a little scared of the thought, but I really need to change my attitude - because life stinks at the minute for me - I really don't know why I'm here or what it's all about!

I started a thread like this too in the depressed section-you are not alone-where do you live?

hello again everyone
i live down south in surrey dropinthe. the crap upbringing rings true for me - very isolated with a widowed mum and much older siblings who ranged from disinterest to outright teasing and nastiness. i recently went to counselling loulounz as i was thinking of cutting all contact with the whole family and i was ready to do that when my mum got ill and i am now walking back down the same horrible paths as i have to have contact with my siblings to make arrangements to care for our mother. i feel so trapped again - i was just at the point of turning my back on all of them and trying to accept things when i am forced into contact all over again - i just want to be with my own new family and take refuge in the much more normal environment we have at home - i am really angry that i can't just cut ties due to feelings for my mum