Asperger Syndrom is it genetic?

[wayoftheworld]

I think my DH has AS ( or totally unable to empathise with me at the moment),but I can deal with him.

I have started to worry about my son. His teacher made a coment some time back of him being "emotionally immature", but brushed it off as she is well known for trying to box people. Now that I have coled off and am observing my son he seems to fit ...

He is not good at making conversations with his pears (8 years old), and is outstanding in maths and music. I can never quite relax with him, it's always important to keep up with routine; he never quite knows when to tell a joke and when to stop a joke...

Shall I take him to the doctor,or am I being paranoid??

p.s. My DH is quie odd at times as well, but I thought he was intravert. But he has been incapable of deaing with the emotion side of certain events in our lives and tent to withdrow at thte wrong moment. He says that when he is stressed or tired smth inside him switches off ( while I seeth and crunch teeth and get on with things!!)

Any ideas???

Yes, I think it can run in the family. No harm in getting him checked out if it means he can get support/understanding later at school if he ever needs it.

I would speak to the school and start a diary. If school arent helpful ask your GP for a referal to Child development centre. Start keeping a diary of his behaviours and reactiond.
Yes ASD is genetic

might also want to report this on SN section

repost

My father in law, my husband and my son all have Aspergers. From what my Mother in law says, we think my father in law's dad did too.

Celery - how do you cope wiht it? I am trying not to blow this out of porpotion and get too paranoid, but can't deny that it has shaken me a bit..

Yep it is. My brother has AS and it's very likely my father has and DD is suspected AS but, I am " fine ".

Thank you lisa for sugestion. He has a lot of problems last year at school with other boys who were quite manipulative and he could not cope with it- but I put it down to hime still being inocent and quie happy for him to still be so.

I'm worried if I tell school what does it mean? Will he be treated better or worse? Do I need to talk to my son about it? If I talk to my DH I am sure he will never admit to it...

Need to take a deep breath; I am stressed..

My DH and I have been having problems lately and his complain is that I don't make sence to him ( which is rather rich considering that is after 11 years of marriage!!). He is exellent at maths and like to analyse things logically- hence my only way of expressing emotions to him should be this way , only I am not sure how to do that)

But worryingly I can see my son slowly becoming like my DH ( and in most ways is not a bad thing, but I need to learn how to cope with it)) Help, help, help......

Not coping too well, to be honest. My mother in law's marriage ended because of my father in law's lack of empathy and communication. He has never been diagnosed. My husband has never been diagnosed either, but all the men in the family are the same. It has only been since my son was diagnosed, that my mother in law and I have talked and come to the realisation that all the men in that family have Aspergers.

In a way, my son's diagnosis has been extremely helpful in answering a lot of questions about problems in the family, going back generations.

My marrige isn't great, to be honest, and I'm not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with am man who has no empathy and can't communicate. I feel terrible about this, because obviously I want my son to have what everyone deserves, when he grows up. A loving relationship. But judging by the family's history, it doesn't bode well.

Regarding you son, and school, his diagnosis has been extrememly positive and helpful. The school have put simple strategies into place, that have really helped to make his time there happier, and the teachers and pupils more understanding. So yes, I do think you should go ahead and seek out assessment. My DS is nearly 10, by the way, and was diagnosed earlier this year.

sorry, regarding MY son, not you son.

And the assessment process was really benefial to my DH too. He was involved in it, and can now see that there is a reason why he thinks and behaves in the way that he does. He fully acknowledges that he more than likely has Aspergers too. Unfortunately, this doesn't actually change how he behaves towards me, I guess because he can't change. But he does now understand why I find it so frustrating and hard living with him.

Yes, I believe it could be genetic. My DP has it, with his diagnosis coming to light following his youngest son's diagnosis a year ago.

My DP suggested this book on the subject. I've only read the section that relates to (romantic) relationships which I found very helpful and enlightening. I will be reading the rest of it, to educate myself prior to meeting his son.

I was particularly re-assured by the fact that this book talks about strategies for the non-AS partner.

Yes it is genetic in lots of families, although not in ours (my DD1 also 8 has AS).

As regards to school it will be helpful, think of a diagnosis as a tool/key to help your son For us its never been a negative thing, and above all remember if indeed your son has AS or not he is still the same young boy a DX wouldnt change him :).

Celery thank you so much for talking to me- feels like for the past two years of strugeling to understand why things can make sence. I have been blaming myself as I have a strong extravert character, that I need to tone it down and be more accomodating, but have not seen much effort done from his side and am slowly fed up!!

I try to have fun conversations with my son but unless is in teaching terms of smth being explained, rationalised and practiced we cant talk. During lunch was telling kids stories about my childhood, and his questions are so odd, it puzzels me at times as to what kind of information he is looking for.

Midnight thanks for the book - amazon seems to have some great reviews on it. Will definitly try and get hold of it- now the question is: How do I talk to my DH about this whithout making him feel defensive. I know he will laugh it off!!

There may be a local branch of the national autistic society near you. The branch here holds twice monthly coffee mornings, where you can go and talk to other parents that are dealing with similar issues to you. There is a also a lego club, for the children.

wayoftheworld one method of raising it with your DH may to be pick a particularly apt section of the book and read it to him. I'd also pick something from the relationship section to read aloud. The latter section speaks of how important it is for both parties to acknowledge the condition, then provides strategies for dealing with it as individuals and as a couple. The purpose of the relationship section being to keep you happy together. Maybe hearing this purpose will will enable your DH to feel less defensive on the subject.

Good luck with the discussion. My LTR-exP was somewhere along the autism spectrum, but refused to discuss the subject until after I decided to leave. I've no idea if we'd have been able to save our relationship if he had, but its a sadness nevertheless.