Is it normal not to like human beings?

[poshsinglemum]

In my past I have been treated quite badly by quite a few people including those who are quite close to me.
This has led me to dislike human beings in general. I would say that I am a misnthrope. I have a few good friends and although I can see their good points I tend to dwell on times when they have been mean. I feel that all humans can and do have the capacity to be awful to each other and it has mede me very wary.
I tend to be a bit of an enabler and I used to hate confrontation but I am getting bettre at standing up for myself. One of my so called friends was really awful to me on my birthday in March and since then I have been very distant with her but I do seethe inside.
When I was seriously ill with an eating disorder in the past I felt that far from being suppoortive, people were mean as they were scared. It coul;d have been that I was distorting things as they were ill. I just feel that humans pick on the weak. I muyself feel quite weak and therefore I hate humans.

I hate having this bleak mindset even more and I wonder if I need therapy. Even a councellor has been mean to me in the past. Gosh- I hope I don't have a victim mentality.

Hi poshsinglemum, I don't think people-haters are too popular on here :( I also have had some c* done to me by many people, some close some not. I agree with you, that maybe (most) people are quite two-faced and untrustworthy :( I have found them to be pretty selfish too. People after all are only animals, and sometimes yes they do prey on the weak :( I think the more victimised we are, the more likely we will develop a victim mentality :( It is a very lonely way to be, and not easy to learn to trust people again, if ever :(
There are also a lot of people out there who have been hurt but don't become people-haters.
I guess they are the lucky ones. Maybe therapy would help, maybe it'll make you feel more resentful..? I think maybe "people like us" do distort things, and make life much more complicated than it actually is.
Maybe just try and keep away from the people who you can't trust, and do some "work" on your self-esteem? x

It sounds to me like you are understandably trying to protect yourself from being hurt again by not getting close to anyone else, and also that you've been unlucky enough to meet some not very nice people. A lot of people are horrible, but a lot aren't imo.

Hiya,

Thanks all. I think being assertive would help me back on track and yes; high self esteem is very important

I'm not always nice either but have definately been too nice in the past much to my detriment.

Hi again, I have also been way too good and generous to people in the past, and they have thrown it back in my face :( There are some real users in the world too true... but I don't think we should give up completely on the whole human race :) My partner and son are lovely decent people :) x

ps I've found that standing up for ourselves can make us very unpopular x

are you sure the counsellor was mean, or perhaps was telling yu something you did not want to hear?

it is good you recognise your misanthropy - great word, rarely get to use it! - and i suppose that is half the issue

i think it is a vast mistake to presume all people will crap on oyu and treat you like shite

it might be worht looking at the type of people you atrract or become close to and see if there is a type/pattern.. i/'e bad boys hwo let you down that you have tried to convert?

also, if your friend hurt you , tell her ! it does not need to be confrontational, if she has hurt you , why should you carry that?

if you feel you are weak, find a way to become stronger. you can re=create/rebuild parts of yourself

be happy in yourself and be confident, lots will flow from there

Hi Lulu; I can't really tell her as it happened in March. I no longer see her as a friend tbh. She's one of those Queen Bee creatures.
Will work on my confidence.

Hi PSM - I don't think you're alone with the feelings you have, honestly and I relate to some of the things you say in your post!!

I think a lot of people are very selfish. I don't think I'm perfect - far from it!! There is one person in my life who I see as a fantastic person and he has done some great things for me and my family but there are countless others who have really hurt my feelings and are users (even those I've known a long time).

Oh and by the way - some counselors just aren't any good / right for you. I had one who kindly told me she didn't believe in mental health problems

I feel for you and I hope you find the right help to fully enjoy your life.

There will undoubtedly be people who feel like you some or all the time. It is not commonplace though, as far as I am aware. (I have my fair share of unshared views).

I think I need tosort this out as I genuinely want to believe in the goodness that also exists in the human heart. When I'm depressesed I focus on the darkness but I know that we are not 100% good or bad. I suppose we all have to be selfish. It's survival and not a bad thing necessarily.

PSM - I have a father who constantly said/says 'I don't like people, I don't like people' and I expect this has skewed my view somewhat.

Yes Electra, I have a mother ( and father )) who have always slagged off the human race :( It's very hard to fight that belief when you've heard nothing positive about humanity :(

Indeed

I have met a couple of people who I think are genuinely kind and try not to be judgemental etc. They are certainly not the norm though, I think most people are just very complicated.

I don't hate people, but it's very hard to find people on the same wavelength. I do often find myself humming people=shit mind. Therapy could help I suppose, would depend on what type, maybe cbt?