Nanny just phoned to say she has stomach bug and I'm panicking (again) - emetophobia?

[FrozenNorth]

Could someone please talk to me? I know there's a thread about this lower down the page but I think I need some targeted advice here.

Our DDs' nanny just called to say that she has a d and v bug (please don't use the full word if you reply to me - yes, I know it's lame of me) so won't be coming in tomorrow. She says she's caught it off her brother who has had it all week. I'm irrationally upset she didn't tell me he had it, because I would have asked her not to come in so we weren't exposed. Now I feel like DD1 (2 years) and DD2 (8 months) are like ticking time-bombs waiting to, well, explode. I'm regretting all the kisses I've given them all evening, I'm regretting having a job (and hence childcare) at all. DH is away with work for two nights and I just feel so trapped. I'm less worried about me getting it than the DDs getting it. If I could get away with feeding all of us nothing for the next few days I would - obviously I know that's mad though.

DD1 had awful reflux for the first eighteen months of her life and struggled to gain weight because of it. She also caught a stomach bug twice, ending up in hospital both times - on the second occasion she lost over 2lb of her body weight. I don't know whether this is why I'm so nervous about all this or whether it was something latent all along. I seriously feel like I want to get out of here, but I can't - in fact I have to cancel all my work for the rest of the week and sequester us all inside because the stress involved in leaving the house and risking anything happening in a public place just feels unbearable.

I know that I just have to try to hold onto the things I can control about this: I can take anti-emetics; I can make sure that both DDs get as much breastmilk as possible which I know will do them good even if they do get ill.

I just feel so frustrated that I'm not going to be able to work or sleep or anything tonight just waiting for something to happen and knowing that if it does, I'm alone in dealing with it.

OK.

What's the worse thing that can happen if any of you got the d&v?

Think about it rationally.

Eeep sorry no advice to add, but if you need any help tomorrow I'm free, I only have an appt at 1pm :)

have an action plan.

have a bucket, some dettol and some rubber gloves on standby in the bath when you go to bed.

If a child wakes up wanting to do the yuk thing, here is what you do. Rubber gloves ON!

1. Carry child to toilet
2. clean child up in bath with shower attatchment or sponge
3. Sit child on toilet wrapped in towel
4. Strip bed/clean soiled area - put bedding in washing machine on 60 degree wash with a little dettol in the fabric conditioner bit
5. dettol soiled area and bath
6. put child back to bed
7. wash gloves with dettol
8. wash hands with SOAP (NOT DETTOL) and only wash hem ONCE, ONCE is enough.
9. Go back to bed.

I will presume Frozen, that both your children are healthy and fit now.

So IF they did come down with a virus,with your comfort and simple medical care (rehydration salts,clear fluids etc) will get over it asap and won't remember the time they were ill at 8mths and 2 yrs.

My ds is 8 and has only V'd once in his lifetime,He struggles with the fear as it's alien to him and it scares him but we tell him it's the bodies way of expelling a virus/bacteria-it's a natural process.The body is a wonderful thing isn't it?

Life is full of what if's,you'll waste all your life worrying and you cannot stop your children from catching simple innocent viruses.

Live in the here and now and at the moment your two little dds are well and I hope, asleep

I don't think she's worried about her children having illnesses, she's worried about having to deal with d&v on her own as she is emetophobic

What's the worst that could happen? I guess that I end up with a toddler and a baby being ill in my bed with me (DD2 co-sleeps, DD1 likes to co-sleep when she's ill) - in this situation DH would normally help out but he's not back til late on Friday (frets). One hard thing about this is that DD1 is too young to tell me if she feels ill. I've just sneaked upstairs and rubbed DD1's hands with milton hand gel in her sleep {mad mummy emoticon here}. I know it's not catastrophic ... it's the uncertainty of when / if things will strike that's making me antsy.

Waves at Juney - thank you, lovely Durham lady! I'm really quite mad, as you see from the above :)

I'm intrigued that this is a common fear - I don't know anyone else with it. Maybe other people are as embarrassed about it as I am!

Thank you for talking to me. Am starting to feel calmer.

We recently had D&V my DS1 and I but my DH and DS2 didn't get it - fingers crossed it may be the same for you all.

Since it turned colder this is also on my mind, as they tend to crop up in winter. If it helps, it's not just you.

DCs are 1 and 3, and when they start to cough in the night I often wake up and lie there thinking - they are just coughing aren't they?? The slightest hint of sloppy poos and I start to feel very knotted up

I have to admit, I only freak worry about me getting it, I could mop up after anyone no problems if I had a cast iron guarantee they weren't contagious.

All I do to 'cope' is - make sure I have changes of bedding easily found, binbags for putting soiled laundry in, a large bowl, and hope for the best. I have posted on here too in the past, under another name.

But if it happens you will cope. I will cope. I will be having a knot of dread in my belly and trying to not to cry but I will cope.

(This is particularly embarrassing as I'm married to a GP. A GP who never gets ill and who is almost always away when the girls are ill - he's in the army medical corps. He's away at a conference tonight though .... argh)

I think the core of being emetophobic is the fear of loss of control isn't it?

As I said before,what is the worse scenario in your mind?

Well my whole family has just had the Norovirus (which is what all the D&V bugs are that come at this time of year)
I'm emetophobic and I got the D but not the V.
It's very contagious but they won't definitely get it.

The practical ideas are helping, although part of me doesn't want to go near the mop, bucket etc. because they would make the possibility even more real and even on a normal day they're triggering.

Thank you also for making me know I'm not alone in fearing this.

But I WILL hope for the best. I know how silly all this can sound by the way, and thank you for not making me out to be a wimp. As a family we've been through a lot (recurrent pregnancy loss, deployments to Iraq and Afganistan, premature baby) but for some reason the v thing is the issue that really gets me upset [hblush]

:( It'll be OK, just take deep breaths if you think about it

Frozen,I'd suggest you ask your GP (or dh ) about CBT.

I think you'd really benefit from working your fears through and seeing how you can control your anxiety.

Uncertainty is a fact of life none of us are fortunetellers.We all live in now and second guessing when illnesses may occur will only add major stress and worry.We should rationally act upon symptoms.

You will cope if and when it happens,as a human and as a mother.

Well I'm married to a nurse. And I am a nurse. But I still worry excessively about it and know it is a phobia rather than rational mild fretting.

I have had one of the children run off in a shop, had one admitted to the childrens ward with very high fever. Had huge bleed in pregnancy. Kids waking me up by being unwell scares me much more than any of
those things.

I may see about CBT too, I know I need it really

Hey Frozen,it's not being silly.

If you think about what you've been through,you are fearful of yet another piece of life you cannot control.

You've been through alot,cut yourself some slack,fears always seem massive when you are on your own.Lots of us here to help you through though..

I dont know if it would help you but my sister always ties a tea towel/scarf over her mouth and nose if she has to clear up. Stops both the germs and the smell.

I find that in my panicky mmoments that counting to 100 makes it better. 'I will get to 100 and it will be gone'.

I'll have my fingers crossed that they wont get it though.

I feel reassured (well, as much as I can be reassured) by all the niceness. This is a part of mumsnet I've never visited before, glad I didn't post in AIBU

ghoulishglenda - I think we should both look into getting some support with this. It's such an intrusive thing to have to live with. Now you've admitted you're a nurse I think I can admit I'm a (research) psychologist :)

I'm going to have to stop googling 'odds of catching stomach bug' aren't I? Some things are just going to have to stay uncertain.

PS - have just discovered, thanks to ballstoit's tip, that inhaling karvol (menthol oil) from a scarf is intensely soothing and might just get me through any clean-up. Taking deep breaths as Juney suggested. Thank you!

Mental health is almost always nice. Incidentally, I don't have emet but I do have another phobia relating to dustbins, and I know the irrationality - I also know that 'rewarding' the irrational thoughts with obsessive behavior will lead to more irrational thoughts, so try not to do this. Wash your hands ONCE. Check the children ONCE. Don't ask them if they feel poorly - you'll know if they do (and they will soon learn to say 'yes' and watch mummy go off into a tizz)

Just wanted to pop in and say that so far (touches wood, crosses fingers, prays) everyone seems okay. And I've resisted the urge to milton / dettol everything in sight (though have just been 'round the house cleaning door handles and light switches and phones but only ONCE).

This is really interesting for me as my daughter has a fear of both herself or someone else being sick and i didnt realise there was an actual name for it.

Glad to hear that Frozen - thanks for popping in (fingers and everything crossed for you)