angry and stressed help

[badtemperedcow]

Have name changed.

Had Dc2 8 months ago. Very much wanted & loved. Also have 5yo DC1

Went back to FT work about a month ago.

Relationship with DH has always been stormy but loving. I have always been person prone to mood swings.

Anyway feeling really miserable. Stressed about work, stressed at home, overtired, like I never get time to myself. Have become obsessed with fact that I have too much to do at home. I don?t get to sit down until about 10pm and then, more often than not, I have work to do. I am distracted at work and not concentrating, inefficient. Baby is still breastfed at night.

While pregnant I was generally quite grumpy. Baby had bad reflux and was very screamy for first few months, it was tough at times, DH was literally never home during my mat leave & I had to do everything although we did have nice holiday together just before I went back. Things have been busy at home, my 2 stepsons have been coming and going. DH is stressed about work all the time ? he had new business which is on a knife edge, I earn all the family money.

DH drinks alot and this drives me mad. But he has always drunk a lot. Everything about him at the moment makes me mad he just pisses me off all the time. He is doing much less around house than he used to but he tells me its unressonable that i cant cope when i have a cleaner and a nanny. That makes me irate.

I am doing crap job at work and crap job at home. I don?t have enough time at home with kids but when I am home, I am crap at housework and have so much to do despite having nanny and cleaner it feels never ending. And i am so behins with work already not doing enough hours

I just feel extremely negative and depressed about life and angry/stressed all the time at home.

DH and I had massive row today and he accused me of handling second DC really badly and being in a horrible mood since she was born. I told him I hated his guts and to f**k off, called him a loser alcoholic (fairly typical response from me)
But I am miserable ? is he right ? is it me? I sometimes think I have changed, why could this be I love DC2 so much and DC1 too having two kids is my dream... whats wrong with me what can I do. I don?t want life to be like this, I know I love my DH. I cant imagine being with anyone else.

badtemperedcow,

You sound completely overwhelmed, and you are expecting an awful lot of yourself. It sounds like you feel solely responsible for the family's financial stability, the children and the running of the household. You are still breastfeeding at night, and you must be exhausted. Is your DH up until 10pm with you or is he sitting in front of the TV while you are doing housework? If it's the latter then this is unreasonable. Is there any way that you can make some time for yourself at the weekend? just a couple of hours outside the house being you instead of wife, mother, employee could make all the difference.

I felt very similar when my DD was about 6 months, and I posted on here. One of my replies said that when you are on a plane and the oxygen masks come down they tell you to take your oxygen first and then give it to children or injured people. You first. Then you can take care of everyone else.