nothing matters, so long as you have your friends.....

[Notty43]

Like a lot of people, we've been hit by the economic downturn and one pahrase keeps being repeated 'nothing matters, so long as you have your friends'. I find this even more depressing, as I don't seem to have any close friends any more. Life before childrn was a social whirl and there was always something going on. Since children, our old friends seem to ahve drifted off (despite our efforts to keep in touch)and the new ones really seem to be acquaintances and no more. Yet I love to be sociable and feel like I try hard to mix with people I meet. I invite people round for meals, coffee or social nights out and we seem to have a good time....yet they NEVER invite me back or call me. I then feel like I can't keep inviting these same people as a) I start to resent always being the hostess and b) I don't want to seem desperate to pursue a frienship that is so one-sided. Yet I feel so lonely - especially when I find out our old frinds are still seming to socialise individually and in groups as much as ever.My partner doesn't help, as he is content to be with me and our children, and socialising is not hids priority: I find this quite claustrophobic and need more frindships than just within the family. Please can ayone advise?

It has certainly been true for me through almost 2 years ofmentally being unwell and struggling to cope. My dh was depressed at the same time and I owe my life to in particular one friend. Who was a friend before it all went wrong and is a very special very close friend now.

In my experience (and I have some, having moved country and then cities several times)friends become true friends when you share yourself with them. ie you do need ot actually talk about what's really going on for you.

I do realise that's not easy. And if you feel it is all one sided then that makes it risky to open up. I started opening up to my friends on facebook because I could not say to their face what had happened to me and what was going on. It then moved into real life and it has been a lifeline.

Hi I am sorry you are going through such a tough time, I too have been going through a hard time at the moment and I would have committed suicide in the last week without my best friend. I never used to let him in but when I was all alone I did we are now much closer. But I think what you have to realize is what you are describing is acquaintances. I used to have loads but something went wrong and I realized they were never going to be there, so now I have only one friend and he is worth more than the others.

Most people only have one real friend, it took me years to find him so don't give up keep looking and hopefully you will find your one true friend too .

''I started opening up to my friends on facebook because I could not say to their face what had happened to me and what was going on. It then moved into real life and it has been a lifeline''
Madmouse, I'm pleased for you that this happened. for me, social networking has almost worsened my feelings of isolation - lots of 'friends' who are really not close and who seem to see a lot more of one another than of me.

Scaredandalone - you have been through tougher times than me, I've never been that low, but I'm glad you have a real friend to care for you.

keep looking I hope you will find a true friend soon [hsmile]