I hate feeling low and sad after a good day

[madmouse]

Well that's it really

Just wanted that off my chest. Anyone else feel the same? Sure it's all part of getting better (after all having good days in the first place)

But today was a special day and I don't like the way I'm feeling right now

Yes, sometimes emotions are too much.

Sometimes you get too tired.

But as you say, it is all part of getting better.

what happened today, may I ask?

It's my birthday on Monday and I had decided I wanted dh to come with me to help me buy walking boots which need replacing.

But he had different ideas. he took me shopping to chose myself a special piece of jewellery because I have been battling ptsd and child abuse issues and it was really hard but I'm nearly there and more myself than ever and he felt that needed something special.

I used to hate any form of attention, fuss or 'pampering' (all part of the abuse thing ) but today was really special and I felt so valued.

Do you have a particular time of day when you often feel better/worse?(for some people the mornings are worse, others evenings for example).

Sometimes people feel worse after a good day because they might get a bit anxious that they might start to feel low again/go downhill again.

After a period of getting better it can make one feel anxious if there is a day that isn't so good. That doesn't mean you are going "backwards" just that it is normal/usual to have good days and not so good days.

Onepiece one of the hardest thing for me has been flashbacks to feelings of extreme loneliness (my abuser used every psychological trick in the book to keep me from telling mum and dad so when I was raped at 8 I dealt with that totally on my own and the loneliness was bottomless) - they are not so strong anymore but after a good day when I've been surrounded with people who care for me I can find it really hard to be on my own and that still triggers those feelings

That is hard madmouse. :(

It is good to hear that you have been getting better. However as you are no doubt finding, recovering and moving on can be a slow process, with times when you feel more vulnerable again.

Possibly if you have had a good day you are more tired than normal? If that is the case then perhaps the next day or two need to be more low key if possible. Also try to look after yourself physically e.g. rest when you need to, eat and drink regularly etc.

Are you alone tonight?

DH is upstairs - he struggles with depression and it has taken it out on him a bit to organise this and carry it out - on top of that he's a bit of an aspie and need his down time.

The friend who supports me most is away this weekend and goes on holiday next week and just knowing that makes me feel lonely even though he's only on the other end of the phone.

I know you are right - just need to accept it and take it easy.

Try and be very kind to yourself over the next day or so (sorry if that sounds very basic/patronising).

Perhaps you are a bit more anxious with your friend going away, this can trigger feelings of lowness/sadness (or make them feel a bit worse)

Thanks onepiece