I want to put my 13 month old up for adoption.

[oncemoreintothebreach]

I can't cope and am not a good mother. I suffer from MH problems and am at the end of my tether. I'm scared I will hurt him

Where do I start? I know family will try and block me but they won't be able to look after him full time and anyway, I'd rather he didn't remain in the family as a reminder of how I have failed.

I can't look after him, even with support.

I would like to see him a few times a year.

Does anyone have advice? I know I probably come across as heartless/undeserving of a child etc etc etc but it really would be best for him to go.

I think fostering would be good for us. I want a hospital stay but they won't give me one. You have to shout loudly here to get help. I'm in East Dorset so not that close but thank you monkey.

I don't enjoy being a mum, I hate it, it's not for me. I get no pleasure out of the baby but I would obviously like to know he's being looked after well by a loving family. He's quite high need. I don't want to give him 'issues' when he's older. I wish he'd never happened. I want to be childless. It's taken me to have childrem to realise I don't want one.

dont break your heart across mn.go see gp.no big decisions yet.wait until you feel a bit more stable - you come across as very raw at the mo

you need some impartial external real life advice

scottishmummy is right this is too big to be open to everyones opinions on MN.
We wish you well but you need to discuss this with your doctor who knows you and what this entails.
You are a good mum for thinking of what is best for your child. Please go and talk to your professional.

I have to agree that it is difficult to get the help but keep shouting. Very hard to make major decisions when you are in the blackhole. I found my HV helpful and I have a good support system.

I'm also in Dorset so feel free to message me. I have a lot of free time now my son is at school.

I have no idea what to say to you but just wanted to add my support.

You sound like you're going through hell.

Can I ask have you always felt this way about you son or is this a recent thing?

Same as memoo, nothing helpful to say but I really want to support you in some way. I really hope you get some real help soon.

I am also in Dorset and have a sister with the same mental illness.Can i help you at all ?