I hate my life.

[poshsinglemum]

The only good thing and the only thing keeping me from doing something stupid is dd.

Conversely I hate being a single mum. I hate the decisions I've made regarding men. I just want a normal life like all the happily married people out there. I hate the fact that my parents gave me a great upbringing and great education and I threw it back in their face with my stupid decisions and stupid rebellion. For what?

I hate the fact that my ex ruined me. Not dd's dad but my narcasistic ex. We finished 10 years ago but I stillcan;t forgive him for the domestic abuse I suffered under his thumb. I know I have to move on but you shopuld have seen the state of me when he finished with me.

Peopel treated me like shit when I was at my lowest as they didn't know what I had been through and this has made me very angry with other humans. I am a misanthrope. I hate people and the way they traet each other.

My greatest wish is that dd dosn't end up like me. When she was born I was terrified that she would end up miserable like me. I'm lonely and I just want someone to care but men hate me.

Sorry for the self-indulgent rant. I just feel so stuck in my small town and my shit career is now non-existant. I feel liek I have bpd or something.

Got out of bed to write this as I can't sleep and I never want to wake up in the morning. My life feels like swimming in treacle and If I hadn't met my ex then I could have been happy.

Sounds like you are ready to punch your ex's lights out - something he richly deserves but not something you could have done at the time.

Anger is a tricky thing - if you've been abused (me as a kid, you as an adult) you have had that anger taken from you.

and when your voice comes back it's too scary to get angry so you get depressed instead

rant away about what the S of a B did to you. Tell us, tell the world, tell a counsellor.

Don't turn it inwards - you've been hurt enough.

hmm that's a lot my own experience at the moment

if not helpful discard with clean conscience

have you ever had counselling to deal with the issues with your ex?

In my area you can get free relationship counselling even if you're single.

Hi all. I think I am angry and have been so for years.

I've had a lot of councelling re ex; cbt, university and relate but it won't go away. i'm still angry.

Well you have a lot it get angry about and it can be good to have angry. It does need a way out though. Not that I have expert advice on how to do that - I'm stuck with the same thing...

Lets try that in english shall we

You have a lot to be angry about and it can be good to be angry

Thanks madmouse.

I'm feeling slightly better today. I wish I could break the cycle of making stupid decisions though.

Maybe try & leave 'stupid decisions you've made in the past' in the past, you can't change what happened so try not to beat yourself up about it. Are you seeing anyone/getting any help for your depression/anger issues? I've personally found mental health nurses to be the best support in encouraging to trudge on through the bad days until things get better. Are you on anti-depressants? They don't suit everyone but for me they were def a life-saver.
Hope you can manage to keep head up & keep on going. Sometimes just keeping yourself busy/going out with DD even when you don't feel like it can be good. Take care

The problem is that the stupid decisions Ive made in the past have had an impact on NOW.
I feel really low this weekend because weekends are supposed to be for families but here I am alone without a car and I can't take dd out for the day.I can't go out in the evening and I'm skint.
I think ads are the way foward.

It's because of my decisions that I am a single mum with a shit career; but with a fantastic dd.

posh - rule number one of abuse - you never ever ask for it

never

d'ya hear me!!!

he choose to treat you like that

he's the bastard

stop beating yourself up so badly....please

you are a family!!
you and dd.....so do something....go for a walk,collect conkers....

i'm a lp to 5 dc,i know its tough. no money,childcare etc....but this part doesnt last forever