I hope someone out there can help me.
My mother has a long history of depression and I "think" manic depression all the signs are there.
She self-medicates (was in the medical profession and in late fifties - she stopped work approx 10 years ago). She has always self medicated. Whilst not at work to give you all an idea, she would self medicate (phenergan otc painkillers on top of her prescription, which I know would have included ads and sleeping pills and valim it was and is honestly quite a big list) along with the self-medicating she would take to her bed, no-one outside of the family (and we are a small family) was/is allowed into the house and she would take to her bed. Mum would never go out of the house unless it was to go shopping and we have always been in debt (always the best dressed family lol!). Mum has always been verbally aggressive, a lot towards me to the point I am destroyed and now towards my sister. She likes to think when she is like that that I am evil or sister is evil. But when she is good she is very very good as the old nursery rhyme states and you could not wish for a better mother.
Anyways in the summertime of this year she started to get confused break out into rashes and stumble and in the background for approx 2years she believes she has a worm in her head, and is constantly attacking her scalp with scissors - that sounds really funny but it is so distressing she belives it and is just so convincing about it. Also she has just stayed in her bed. Mum was stumbling around a lot so my sister (another mumsnetter who may read this! and be glad i posted) took her to casualty. This happened a lot and my sister kept taking her to casualty. Mum was discharged each time and kept deteriorating. We thought it was a stroke and possibly vascular dementia or a problem with her artery. Mum has had every physical test known to man and it is psychiatric (which i always had known).
The last few months have been so so tough, we thought mum was at high risk through stroke/tia's and her arteries. She just lay in bed all day. And on top of that kept on self-medicating (I know now what the stumbling was about)and to my shame if mum did not get her otc drugs things can get very nasty so we got them - i feel and my sis feels so guilty but please do not judge.
On Sunday of last week my sister called me she was really upset mum was in bed being rotten to her, my sister smelled burning - my mother decided to set fire outside her bedroom to kill herself. My sister got it out. Please bear in mind mumsnetters that my sister and i have told the gps, called social services everything in the past few weeks, absolutely no help (they state she has been referred, due to the fact she was having hallucinations when admitted in the summertime for her so-called turns)as they referred her to be assessed by a mental health team for next week.
The next day i had the most horrid sixth sense and went to my mothers, she was again in bed with a lit cigarette and half-asleep, i woke her up and she told me that she had taken x48 painkillers and a strip of diazepam. I called the gp, and he said he would come out. I told my mother - which i worried about as no-one is allowed in - and she said great she needed help and i told her maybe hospital (psychiatric for a break) and she was glad. The GP arrived and called an ambulance, my sister and i went and mum was given a drip with antidote.
My mother told the doc on duty how she didnt want to live etc, and my sis and i spoke privately to the nurse and told her the sit, she was great. Mum was moved up to a ward, and again my sis and i told the doc on the ward what was going on and again - great.
The next day mum was visited by a sw and i think psychiatrist. They asked my sister and i for a private chat and we told them everything, they told us about sectioning mum etc. They met with mum as well on her own.
My sis and i were preparing ourselves for mum being sectioned it was really hard but we really cant cope any longer and i have a dd that sounds terrible but it is now affecting our mental health.
Another social worker and cpn came to see mum and guess what they discharged her. My sister went mad at them etc we feel they have not listened (and my mum is sitting there on the bed denying the fire, lying in bed, self-medicating) she asked my sister and i if we could stop in the chemist on the way home and get her phenergan and painkillers..... so the cycle and hell starts again.........
The sw said that a psychiatrist would see mum that was yesterday, he had a private chat with me and was excellent he thinks schiophrenia (sp?) or manic depression i agree, he told me that my family meaning dd and i come first and my sis also needs to care for herself and that he would offer mum an inpatient place.... Well he spoke to mum and (she was sitting looking perfectly calm) mum roared at him - how dare you, i had a blip etc, i do not lie in bed all day the whole lot, the psychiatrist said someone would be around to see her in the morning...
A sw and cpn came to see her this morning and i could hear her laughing and joking with them they left and told her they would be back in the morning.
I went to ask her how it went and she said to me - dont you ever dare discuss my personal business with anyone again, and all day long she harped on and on at me to get her otcs until my dd came back from school and i took dd home
I called the gp, to ask for something for her (as she asked me to) he called me back when i arrived home and said no she is not getting a prescription, he also told me if she wants something she can ask for herself- which i agree on - but how do we tell her that?
So the whole cycle starts again and my sister and i cant cope, she lies to the professionals about it all and what she has done so what next....
Who to turn to?