Feelings Of Anxiety- Im Scared

[chinchi]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this board but post every so often on other boards, and I just wondered if I could seek out some help/advice/wisdom from you all.

I am 25 and Mum to three children under 5. DS who is 3 has mild CP, mild enough that people who don't know his diagnosis would never suspect he has CP, yet serious enough for me to worry over hime and to try wrap him up in a blanket. I also have DD 21 months, and DD2, 12 weeks old. I have been married almost 6 years to a Turkish man, and we have had our ups and downs, but thankfully more recently, alot more 'ups'.

I am an only child and have lost both my parents. DH's family live overseas, and because he works 7 days a week in the cafe we own, I am very much a single Mum.

Since the birth of my daughter, I have been experiencing feelings that I don't like, and really need to overcome, yet don't know how.

I am very snappy and irritable. I can snap over the smallest of things, then less than an hour later, forget why I was angry. I seem to live in a dream world, in which all I can see is a hazy fog. DH can say something to me, and it will take me a couple of seconds to register what he has said, and for me to reply. I have two toddlers, one of whom has additional needs, who constantly crave my attention, yet there are times I see myself just sitting and staring into space, because I feel like I don't have the capability to focus on them and do anything constructive with them.

I try to snap out of what I am feeling, but it almost feels like my head is full to bursting. I can't think straight, my vision seems slightly blurred, and I more often than not feel dizzy, with hot and cold flushes.

It is almost like I am not the soul inside my body, but yet I am watching somebody else live my life, if that makes any sense? I feel like I am living in a constant panic and can't sit and relax for feeling that I always need to be doing something constructive or worthwhile. I am on auto-pilot and am always fidgeting, looking for things I could be doing, instead of sitting and taking time out for myself.

I presumed it was down to the mini-pill that I was taking, and so I changed it around 3 weeks ago, but these feelings have carried on. I have an appointment with the GP on Wednesday, but I don't want to go in there and have her thinking that it is in my own hands to change what Im feeling- Ive been trying to do that for the past couple of months!

It almost feels like I am losing the capacity to think straight and logically. Everything is an effort because my head feels so 'busy' and it almost hurts to think about anything. I quickly lose concentration, and my short term memory is appalling. I have to sit and really focus to think back to simple things like what I had for breakfast etc.

I hope I have made sense and that somebody may be able to share some ideas or experiences?

You have much to cope with at the moment chinchi . Give your GP a copy of what you have said here - there is a lot of information about how you are feeling and symptoms you have. I am not a GP so cannot diagnose - but help your GP to help you by giving them as much information as possible. It's not always easy to do that in a five minute talk! Do you get any time just for you?

I get most evenings to myself once the children are in bed. Its now 9pm and just got the youngest to sleep, so I have a couple of hours to myself. The time that I do have on my own seems to give me more time to mull over how I feel and I never can just seem to 'switch off'.

I went shopping with the children today, and the experience I had wsa strange. Despite the buzz of what was going on around me- people walking, chatting, colourful shop fronts etc, I couldnt take any of it in. It was like a blur to me. I couldnt seem to distinguish between sounds and sights, and I walked around with my head full to bursting. Funny thing is, the children were as good as gold and I didnt have a single bit of trouble with them. Where is my mind wandering to?

How did you get on at the GP chinchi ?

She wasn't very helpful to be honest. She has told me that Im having tension headaches and that I need to relax more. Please tell me how when DH works 7 days a week and I have no surviving family. His family are all overseas!
Im trying to feel more positive, but I feel edgy and nervous all the time. She couldnt prescribe me anything because I am BF. Back to square one.

Hi there
I had.suffered with anxiety most of my teenage years and when my ds was born 3 years.ago I had to do something about it.
I.completly.sympathize with u on the effects anxiety have its everything u describe and u feel.as though u are in a vicious circle.
But let me try and bring u some hope, when I went to my GP he put me into CBT therapy, and for me its the best thing that has ever happened to me, its not counseling they teach u specific techniques that recognise.the un helpful thinking and be in control of it.
I hope this helps

your Doctor was not understanding at all, never feel like you have to cope on your own as you are right where do you start,
Please, please please insist you are referred for the treatment it has been proven to be so successful then any other form of treatment including medication, I felt exactly all the same feelings and it made me have physical effects too, being sick, dizzy, I have been there for maybe 15 years of my life and even though I have the unhelpful thinking that sets off my anxiety the techniques become a step by step tool to work through that thought and come out on the other side feeling less anxious. It takes time i was in my treatment for a year but i have come out on the other side,
best of luck and please do not feel like you are on your own.

Chinchi - it really sounds to me like you are suffering from anxiety and depression. I have suffered 2 bouts though my kids are all grown up, but your description fits with mine when I am heading for a depressive episode. I can't understand why your GP just mentioned tension headaches ans just quite how you relax with 3 children under 5 and one with special needs is beyond me.

Did you actually tell the GP exactly how you were feeling or did you talk vaguely about headaches. Could this be post natal depression - I am sure other young mothers will be along soon with good advice. Have you talked with your health visitor about your feelings following the birth of your 3rd baby. I have certainly heard other young mothers on here say that you can take anti-depressants when you are breast feeding (though only certain ones) - don't give up trying to get the help you need. Speak to your HV or another GP.

You have an awful lot on your plate at the moment and you cannot afford to be laid low with a major depression/anxiety state, so make sure you get the help/support you need,. Do you know any other young mothers in your area or friends who might be able to help. Presumably you are also exhausted as you sre probably still night feeding your newbaby. It is really tough because I too had 3 under 5's but they're all grown up now but I will never forget the exhaustion i felt at the time.

CBT is a good therapy and the GP can usually access 6 sessions of this on the NHS if you have the time to get to the sessions. Sometimes though you need medication to lift some of the worse symptoms before you can made good use of the therapy. There arealso lots of books on CBT you can read. I have one called "Mind over Mood" which is about £9.99 on Amazon.

Sending you good wishes and another plea to get help - it is out there. Anxiety is the medical name for fear and of course anxiety and depression are totally intertwined, so anti- depressants usually cope with the anxiety too.

You should also ask GP to check your thyroid.

I felt exactly the same. Thyroiditis (under active or over active) can be caused by childbirth.

It causes all you have described, mainly anxiety and that spaced out feeling is the worst part.

It is treated easily by medication and it might only be short term.

It could just be normal anxiety that alot of new mums can suffer from but it's worth having checked. Good luck. x

Many, many thanks for your replies. I really do appreciate it.

I am feeling slightly perkier to be honest, although still not 100%. I am shocked at how snappy I am with people around me. I have never ever been an angry person, but I just feel I am evolving into a completely different character and it is beyond my control.

I am going to go back to the GP next week (although to see a different doctor), and mention CBT. My HV has been fantastic and gives me ways and ideas about approaching the problems Im having. She seems to understand me more than the GP, as I guess with being a HV, she has so many years experience of dealing with new Mothers, and the feelings that come with it.

My ability to concentrate at the moment is terrible and my short term memory is very bad for a 25 year old. Fingers crossed for a step forward at the GP next week :)

Nananina could not agree more,
And good.luck with it chinchi allow yourself to take the day as it comes u may find some better then others. To me what u have done so far is great. Take care.