hi, in summary there is a lot going on - i'm made redundant end of this year; work full time 2.5 yr old DS who will have to go to another nursery. We have a lot of debt which redudnancy clear a lot of but then house needs HUGE amounts doing to it. Ongoing stress issues on my family side, DH's family too - health and other. I've piled on pounds and prior to the redundancy thing wasn't able to conceive no. 2 .. it's such a vicious circle.
thing that's concerning me most is, and I know that to any normal person, the same applies - I'm finding it increasingly scary and frightening about the awful stories in press re children being hurt by parents, of all kinds. I think what started it off was poor Baby P; since then I fret about these poor children all the time. I'm not looking for sympathy on this, as obviously the poor children and those close to them, involved etc, are the victims. I'm just Joe Public. But I'm scared at the sort of world I've brought my child into. I'm scared at having another.. and I'm scared that I'm feeling so hateful about myself that I might take it out, in a small way or then more, on my child. on Saturday I shut the door on my son and heard him crying in the bedroom for a few mins before I opened it. I feel that I did it to upset him. Is this 'normal' as in have others done it? I feel so guilty... he is cherished and I've never done anything even near this before.. but what is the downhill path?
I just feel so low, and alone. I put on a brave face to everyone and downplay the stresses (I do know other people have far worse). but I'm just scared and feel the GP's just think I'm a hypo. Sorry for the long message. What should I do? I have no friends with young children, our NCT group are no longer in touch sadly. Husband is an eternal optimist and que sera type attitude. I can't break through to him to show how low I am.