want to restart meds but the sense of failure is crushing me

[lostarrow]

After a break of several years following clinical depression, situation-specific anxiety (panic attacks), I feel I urgently need to go back on meds, as my mood has crashed to a new low and nothing will get it back.

after much difficult experimentation, I settled on sertraline last time. But I am already feeling that a bad situation is compounded by having to go back on meds. The sense of failure is crushing me. What can i do

[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1046792-terrified-of-messing-up-and-recreating-the-problems-of-my some recent background in this thread]

I know how you feel as I've had to take ADs during pregnancy and it has made me feel like an utter failure as a person and a mother before my child is even born.

I think the only way to look at is, if you had any other kind of health condition you would not feel guilty for taking the appropriate medicine- diabetics tend not to have inner battles about taking insulin etc. Depression and anxiety are shit enough, dont beat yourself up for doing what you need to get better x

thanks lelarose

saw doc and back on sertraline to see how that goes

Good stuff- you are NOT a failure, you are just doing what we have to do sometimes. Hope you feel better soon- feling a failure is part of the illness I think. Well done.

Any other illness and you would take the meds without a thought. This is just the same. If sertraline doesn't work for you, maybe try something else?

Okay, so I've started on sertraline.

Anyone else been here? Does it make you wired in the middle of the night? I keep getting up at 2.30 or 3 and can't sleep again till 6 for about an hour. I know that's a sign of anxiety but it wasn't happening until I started taking the drug this time.

Also, I keep hearing the same sentence over and over. Could be something I've said or something someone else has said or something I might have to say later. Very odd indeed.

Are these known side-effects while adjusting?

And today, didn't even get to sleep. That's half the night gone now.

I am on Sertraline at the moment. Also on Buspirone 3 times a day.

I actually find it hard to get to sleep too and when I do I crash and find it so hard to wake.

Is there anything other than the meds that's troubling you? I'm happy to listen.

You poor thing:( It's horrible not being able to sleep.

You've done the right thing going back on the meds, but if you have trouble sleeping most nights, it would be a good idea to talk to your GP about it. It may be you need a different AD. There are more sedating ones available which help with sleep and for me were better at calming my anxiety aswell. I believe Sertraline is a more activating AD. I couldn't sleep on this type either.

It's a good idea to keep a sleep diary as it's easier to look back at any changes or patterns.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

hi again, is the Buspirone working for you?

It must be difficult taking meds 3 times a day. I hope the two drugs are having some effect together.

thanks, Orangeflutie, good advice.