please come and shout at me...

[livinginadw]

after a year of struggling with life in general and several months of wanting to and on some occasions harming myself I finally bit the bullet and dragged myself to the doctors today, asking to be put back on the anti-depressants I very proudly gave up almost 3 years ago.

I am now sat here staring at my first dose and I just cannot take it. I just know im going to feel awful for at least a fortnight, and am petrified to be dependent on a drug again.

Someone please tell me I need to do this.....

Do it. Just get some water, do it now. You've done bloody well getting this far - don't fuck it up now having done so well. The worst bit was going to the doctors, and you've got through that.

It will be fine :).

done. I am now crying like a baby.

Put it in your mouth. You are ill. your mental health is ALREADY dependant on the medication, you just haven't started taking it yet.

I tried to do what you are doing (Ignoring my antidepressents) and I made my self horrendously ill. I was nearly hospitalised.

you deserve to be well and you should take the steps to ensure you get what you deserve.

Well done living. It won't be long before they start working and you will feel so, so much better.

I spent years agonising over taking ADs. I have been on and off them for 17 years or so and have finally realised that I NEED them. And I deserve them too because I deserve to have a happy life. I owe it to my children and dh to take them, because when I am not well it affects them all.

You owe it to yourself too - you deserve to be well, healthy and happy. And you have taken the first positive steps to getting back to how you should be.

Bless you living I am just like you. I hate taking ad's for some reason. When I had pnd I would take them for a week then stop

The only ad that seemed to work for me was dosulepin. I think it's an older style one. It helped me sleep no end when taken at night and generally got rid of that horrid anxious feeling.

I did feel a wee bit floaty during the day, but I only took it for 4 weeks (again fuckwit emoticon).

I take the ad's, feel a bit better and then stop. It's not wise. Hence returning depression.

Living you've made the right decision well done:)

I've been reducing my dose of ad over the last few months, but I'm not sure I've made the right decision.

I'm becoming more anxious again and feel lower so have a feeling I will be increasing my dose again. I'm disappointed but I think I've got to accept I need ads for longer than I thought. It's hard isn't it?