What is the matter with me?

[danceswithfools]

I've decided to post on here because I don't know how to sort my head out. For about the last 6 months, I have found myself dwelling a lot on death. I am not religious and it's not that I'm scared of dying, but I find myself thinking, what is the point in anything if one day I'm just going to be dead and that's it?
I don't think I am depressed as I get through the day fine, can concentrate and get things done around the house and at work.

I love my DH and DCs and I would say we are a happy family together. I just find it hard to find the point in anything.
How do I get myself out of this thinking, I know it's not good and if nothing else I am wasting time when I should be enjoying life! I can rationalise it to myself, but still come back to the same thing.
I hope this doesn't sound silly, I just don't feel like I can talk to anyone in real life about it

Aw.. poor you. I know how it feels, I did it a lot when DS was quite young, It did pass..

How old is your DC?

Thanks, they are 6 and 2. I feel really cross with myself for wasting time when they are little, I really want to sort my head out and start having fun with them. Well, we do have fun, it's just when I am on my own with my thoughts I wonder why any of us bother? Maybe I need to get religion!

I don't think religion's the answer
(IMO obviously)

Sorry, you're prob not in the mood for jokes!

I do find myself dwelling on death a lot, but I'm really trying to train myself out of it. I reckon CBT will be recommended when a few more people see your thread. I have no experience of it myself, but have seen it suggested for similar things on here before.

No, I am in the mood for jokes, I was joking myself! I think that's part of the problem, I never seem to have a good laugh with anyone except my children these days. I think that I am in a bit of a rut. My second child came along after a few miscarriages, which was a really hard time. He is a joy, but I think that the losses and being so desperate for another baby have really made me question what life is about. And all I have come up with is that it's about filling in time till you are dead, so what's the point in anything? I'm worried that I am turning into a complete misery and just don't know how to turn things round in my head.

I think that when you have children its natural to consider your own mortality because you have the responsibility of bringing them up.Its probably a time of reflecting on how life goes round in circles ready for the next generation.

You do need to put your thoughts into a perspective so that they dont dominate your day cos then you will miss out alot of the fun your chidren will be having.

Try acknowledging that its okay to spend sometime thinking of death and meaning of life but limit it to a small part of the day and try to move onto thoughts around the here and now. Good luck