Hi there again LifesComplicated - you?re not waffling at all, I find it so helpful to hear from someone who has been through a similar ordeal. My understanding and empathy with mental health issues has grown hugely since I?ve suffered with this (never had any history before PND) All my RL friends seem to just cope and shrug off bad nights, but for me they often spell total despair and plunging into anxiety. The only way of breaking the negative cycle seems to be resorting to diazepam or zopiclone for a night or two, which obviously cannot really be done during pregnancy.
I hear your advice re, sertraline, but TBH I am absolutely terrified of the SSRIs. I was put on citalopram when I first got ill and I can honestly say it made me 100x worse ? the agitation, insomnia, panic, nausea and tremor/shakes that it caused sent me to rock bottom and I believe was the ?last straw that broke the camel?s back? eventually landing me a mother and baby unit. I vowed never to take the risk with that class of drug again.
The AD I?m on now is mirtazapine, a completely drug in the way it works. It has worked for me really well, sorted my sleep problem (when I was on the 15mg dose at least) helped my depression and anxiety. Much of the research says it?s fine in pregnancy, but because it?s a newer type of AD (out in 1996 I believe) they are reluctant to prescribe it in pregnancy. I feel like I could settle it in my own mind to take a low dose, but would only take 1 judgemental / shocked health professional e.g. midwife, pharmacist, who knew little about it, to send my anxiety and guilt sky-rocketing. It?s so difficult.
Yes I came off lithium and the anti-psychotic under guidance from a psychiatrist. TBH they weren?t that supportive, but I have proved them wrong because I have remained pretty well. I didn?t find lithium at all difficult to come off (didn?t notice any effects on sleep, mood etc.) The anti-psychotic was harder though, as yet again, my sleep was disrupted. But no, the lithium was trouble-free. I did it slowly over the course of over 5 months. What dose does your DH take?
I have seen a peri-natal specialist to discuss possible pregnancy, but I cannot be properly referred to her unless I actually get pregnant. So it?s a difficult situation to be in really. Don?t want to get pregnant, just so I can be referred to her only for her to say ?you shouldn?t be taking what you are taking?.
I have tried a lot of the natural remedies, as you say. I?ve had valerian tablets, but not yet tried the tea so perhaps that?s something else I should try. I drink calmomile tea in the evenings because it is caffeine free and supposed to be calming. Pretty much you name it, I?ve tried it though: homeopathy, reflexology, nytol, sominex, acupressure plasters, rescue remedy, lavender oil.. I dread to think how much money I?ve spent on ?insomnia remedies? !!
What sleeping pills were you on, and how did you find getting off them? I have taken zopiclone in the past but terrified of the dependency issue so never taken them for more than two nights in a row, unless it?s a real crisis. Even then I try to have a ?natural? night somewhere in between the bad nights. It?s so hard, the dr.s say ?oh you won?t get dependent? but it?s not them that is dealing with the hell of insomnia or the possible consequences of getting hooked on something. I know for me, the placebo / psychological attachment to taking a pill is huge, that has at least in part been the reason why I find it so hard to get off my ADs, so the thought of having to wean off something that is actually, physically addictive, is horrendous. Not a risk worth taking IMO.
Anyway this is getting long sorry. I am really glad that the sertraline is helping you. Hope you stay well. You are doing brilliantly just keep on hanging on in there ? one day at a time. Take care. If you want to carry on chatting please feel free.
xx