Crap. Bulimia crept up on me unawares.

[HamsterPoo]

Kick me somebody

didnt want to leave your post unanswered.. i have no experience of bulimia but know it is no walk in the park ..hopefully someone will come on here and give some great advice in a min...xx

Are you receiving any help? How long has this been going on for? I'm in treatment right now and it is hard, but the alternative of living my life that way is the worse option tbh.

I have been under CMHT for over a year but they are about to discharge me. Been controlling it well for about 6 months mostly but sometimes it just creeps up on me, like it stalks me and plans my actions.

I think the clue there is that you are about to be discharged. In all likelihood this is a reaction to that. Do you feel unready for that?

Maybe. I don't know. i have a very supportive friend, who has made it possible for me to overcome most of my self-destructive behaviours. So I am not in so much need now iyswim.
Things are majorly stressful at home though.

I've just got over a bad bump that lasted several months when lots of pressure was on. I tried to destress my life as much as possible, exercise, forget about my weight and eat well etc......and gradually the binges slowed down....even if I put on 4 kg trying to avoid the rendez-vous with the toilet.

Now in a much much better place.

I know how hard it is, and good luck with doing whatever it is you need to do to come to grips with it.

And be kind to yourself as much as you can in other ways. Nice baths, kind words to yourself....and talk to someone - counselling if necessary.

It's so hard to fight. One bout and my reaction to any stressful situation is wanting to throw up.
AndI know it's a control thing. So much of my life I have no control over.

Glad you are doing better though well done, I know how hard it is.

(can't have baths atm, haven't got a bed, nowhere to sit properly even, dammit)

Yes, I had to make some tough decisions that made some people very unhappy, but I had to regain some control. Can you find one thing you love doing, and make sure you do that daily (walking?) and find one area of your life you can excerpt some control over? Anyone you can talk to? I'm so relieved to be out of the pattern - fingers crossed. It is so tough. I had to confess to my partner and although he didn't take it very seriously, it was nice to get the words out.