Just been diagnosed with PND and can't cope!

[tallblonde]

My DS is 8 weeks old tomorrow and was very sick when he was 10 days old. I had a traumatic labour and felt no immediate bond with DS, and the midwife wanted me to speak to my GP about PND after only a week. However, DS got sick and we spent weeks in hospital so I never spoke to my GP as we lived pretty much on adrenalin whist we were in the hospital.

Since the dust has settled and we came home i started to become very weepy and anxious about coping with my son. Last week i spoke to the GP and he has put me on ADs - fluroxetine. However, I feel truly awful - my anxiety levels today are through the roof and i've been incapable of looking after my son. Thank goodness DH is here. He will be taking leave next week as I can't physically look after DS. The mornings are horrendous - I wake with a feeling of dread and it doesn't lift until the afternoon.

Will these feelings subside as the ADs start to work? I had heard that you often felt worse before you felt better. And has anyone else needed help during this two week period to care for their DS/DD? I also feel like I have no bond with my son, which I feel incredibly guilty for.

Please tell me there's light at the end of the tunnel with all this.

Have you talked to your health visitor. She may well be able to arrange support for you. It might be a support group or a community pschyatric nurse or listening visits depending on what is available in your area.

Anti depresssants usually take a couple of weeks to kick in. However it can be a bit of trial and error finding the right one.

It will get better and will develop a bond with your son.

Postnatal depression is really common and its no reflection on you as a person.

I just feel awful as reading other posts about PND on here, no-one else seems to suggest that they need someone else to care for their DD/DS at times because they can't even think straight. Is it just me?

tallblonde, can you afford to pay for help. Maybe a doula for a few hours each day to look after BOTH you and the baby.

You aren't on your own and you should not feel ashamed. There is a tiny baby who has been full time at my dd's nursery since 8 weeks because her Mummy has been hospitalised with postnatal depression.

Postnatal depression is a prenious illness. In its severest form, the victim can't look after themselves yet alone a child. No one expects someone with cancer to look after a baby. Yet postnatal depression is one of the biggest killers of young mothers in the UK.

pnd is a treatable illness,dont torment yourself about this.do take the meds, ask if you will be allocated HV or CMHT support

you have been through a lot,must feel like one thing after another

eat well
get out daily even if only wee walk to shop for paper/milk
have your groceries and nappies delivered, less hassle
dont put a brave face on it,talk talk and accept any help offered

you will get through this, takes time.no magic wand.and yes it can feel worse or overwhelming before it gets better.give your meds adequate time to kick in too
gentle exercise (brisk walk with pram) good for endophine release (happy hormones)

this is a good leaflet with further contact details of useful support

mama
and net mums is good for local meet ups and pnd support too

I went through a similar experience when my DS3 was about six weeks and I begged DH to stay at home with me more than once. I was prescribed fluoxitne but they really didn't agree with me and I stopped after just three days. Postnatal depression is a term that covers all sorts of symptoms and feelings that can come about after the birth of your baby, and it can vary in severity. I didn't actually feel depressed, just anxious and I suffered from insomnia too. There are lots of other people who are going through this / have gone through this. You are not alone. Eight weeks is a very young age and it is really, really hard I know to look after a young baby when you yourself are struggling. My DS3 is now ten months and I am much, much better. I'm not as I was before he was born yet but hopefully nearly there. Good luck xx

My experience of PND was much like yours, I would start the day with feelings of accute dread, anxiety and depression which would lift and be better towards evening. It's also true that it can take a few weeks for antidepressants to kick in and start working which is a bummer when you are desperate, they can also make you feel worse before you feel better. Don't feel ashamed, accept all the help you can get x

Firstly, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, I've lived through it.

Two things: one is about practicalities. It is also absolutely not true that no-one else needs someone to care for their child when they are ill. My DH had to take weeks off work to look after me and DD. Another friend of mine had a rota of grannies looking after her child pretty much FT, while another single parent had her child fostered for a few weeks while she was cared for in hospital.

Don't worry about the bond. That's the least of your worries. It will come in time. Just concentrate on getting through each day, or even each hour.

You may need help after next week. Can you get this in from any part of your family or friends? My DH went back to work four days a week only, which helped too. It meant the ratio of being alone with DD was only 4 days to 3, not 5 to 2.

And the second thing, has anyone talked to you about counselling to go with the drugs? Do you have a decent HV?

Please don't ever think you are the only one who has felt like they can't cope with their baby.

I have had PND twice and at points, both times I have had to beg DH to stay at home with me, call up my mum or even my MIL to help me look after the baby. I honestly felt that I couldn't cope with being alone with either of them at that time.

I too had a horrible birth experience with DS1 which ended up with him in hospital for two weeks and then back in again at 10 weeks. I was diagnosed with PTSD as well as PND so it may be worth you looking up the symptoms of PTSD too?

I can assure you that YOU WILL GET BETTER. I know it doesn't seem like it now but I am (touch wood a million times) fully recovered from my PND following the birth of DS2. I took AD's and they did indeed take around 2 weeks to work and I am now gradually reducing them with no ill effect on my mood.

I hope this helps. xx