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Mental health

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12 week blues

3 replies

dezzashezza · 10/09/2010 16:56

Hi,

When my little girl got to 12 weeks, I became a gibbering wreck overnight. Up to that point I was coping well, getting on the train to visit friends on my own with the baby, sleeping for 8 hours a night (my DD slept from 10-6 from 8 weeks old!) and all was well. Then suddenly, when she was about 12 weeks old I became very anxious and depressed. I didn't want to get dressed, I constantly had a crushing feeling of dread and I just wanted to hide in a hole and cry. I eventually went to the doctor who sent out a health visitor to see me to fill in a 'how mental are you' form, and she didn't class me as having postnatal depression, but she acknowledged that I was suffering from some kind of acute anxiety. The symptoms came and went over the next 2/3 weeks and disappeared as quickly as they arrived. Personally, I think it had something to do with my pregnancy hormones leaving me. It felt like incredibly intense PMT, like my body was very out of balance. I look back and I don't even recognise the person that felt that way, and at the time I felt like I didn't 'know' myself anymore - as if I'd turned into some kind of stranger. Since then, I've talked to every one of my girl friends about it, and they have all admitted that at some stage around the 10-14 week point, they went a little bit weird one way or another. I've also warned friends who are about to have babies - and ALL of them, every single one, has called me about three months after giving birth to talk to me about how depressed and anxious they're feeling all of a sudden. I think a lot of people go through this and think it's just sleeplessness that causes it, but because I was getting plenty of rest, I noticed the changes in me more accutely.

And the reason I'm posting this is to ask whether or nor anyone else has gone through the same thing. And if you have (and like me, you got better), can you help me reassure those people who are going through it at the moment, because no one tells you about it. It's the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, and at the time, I thought that I was the only person in the world to feel the way I did. I wish someone had told me about this in advance, and reassured me that it wouldn't last forever. And I know that PND comes in all shapes and sizes, and not everyone recovers on their own (or at all), so I'm not trying to offer some kind of diagnosis - you should always go to your GP if you feel like this.

The one thing my health visitor did suggest to help was to get some excersise outside (which helped) and to have a night/afternoon off where you're physically separated from your baby (which REALLY helped). You might feel like you get time alone when the baby is asleep, but the truth is, you're always on duty if you're with them. If you did any other job for three months solid, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without a break, you'd definitely go crazy, so take some time out - even if it's for a couple of hours.

Thoughts please...

OP posts:
theslumbertaker · 11/09/2010 20:08

yes i agree with this. i felt somewhat down at around this time with dd1 and now dd2. i had put it down to physical/mental exhaustion caused by bfing, sleep deprivation and noty having any time off-duty.

chilipepper27 · 17/09/2010 21:37

I'm so glad you started this post, recently I feel like I have lost all motivation, my house is tiny and every time I tidy i feel
like I turn around and it's a
mess again ,also I feel like I have put on weight after having my ds I have had issues with
my weight in the past and at the minute I hate leaving the house because I feel I look such a mess I know it sounds shallow but it's just adding to the feeling that I can't cope se days all I have done is look after ds and watch tv I used to be so active and always nicely turned out the only positive is that my ds and husband are happy so I must be doing something right sorry this MSG is so long , if anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it ps my ds is eleven weeks ,dezza shezza did you have any of these feelings ?
I

JJJ34 · 20/09/2010 08:45

I feel like this and my baby is only three weeks old! I have an older child and I think it is to do with the fact that I think I have made a mistake/runined our lives by having a second baby. I really hope this passes as i am feeling v v down. Maybe it is hormones/shock/lack of sleep.

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