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Advice needed about friend

3 replies

MrsAlwaysRight · 08/09/2010 13:32

I need some advice about how I can best try to support a friend of mine. Another friend called me early on Monday morning to say that our friend was in hospital after taking an overdose as her husband has left her.

They have been married for about 16 years and have no children. She has always said that he is her world and if he left her she would not be able to live without him. I never ever would have forseen him leaving her as they seemed totally devoted to each other and he really dotes on her.

Apparently a couple of months ago he said he was leaving and they spent some time apart then decided to try again but this weekend he has said he can't take it anymore and has just gone.

She has had depression before and I imagine can be very hard to live with but he seemed to accept this was just how she is and they just got on with things.

She is now out of hospital and has gone to stay at her brothers as her DH has now returned to the house. I am quite concerned about her staying at her brothers house as I think he is a bad influence on her as he drinks heavily and also takes drugs. My friend also drinks quite a lot and had been out drinking with her brother prior to taking the overdose.

The friend that called me to let me know what has happened has spoken briefly to the DH and he says he just can't carry on anymore and had to leave for himself.

She has very low self esteem at the best of times and I think she will struggle to even contemplate how she can carry on without him. The rest of her family probably won't be very supportive as they are all quite self centred and don't really look out for each other.

I sent her a text yesterday when she was still in hospital to say other friend had told me what had happened (other friend had said she would let me know and wasn't told not to)but she hasn't replied.

I really just need some suggestions as to what i can say/do to try and support her. TIA

OP posts:
anonymosity · 09/09/2010 03:08

It sounds like an awful situation, but if you've put a message out there for her and she's not yet replied, I think it would probably be best to wait for her to come back to you before you offer to get involved. I don't know, it just seems that if she wanted to talk to you about it and get your support, that she'd have replied. Obviously I could be completely and utterly wrong, having never met her, or you. I just have a sort of mental pause button for this kind of thing, make yourself available but don't get in anyones' face kind of thing (not that you have!).

MrsAlwaysRight · 09/09/2010 09:21

Thanks anonymosity she text me back last night and just said "sorry for taking so long to get back to you. Hope all well with you"

I text back to ask when she was coming back from her brothers and to let me know if she needs anything or wants some company. So I will leave the ball in her court.

OP posts:
anonymosity · 09/09/2010 15:18

That sounds good. She knows you're there for her if she needs it. I hope she finds a way through it all.

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