Im an idiot

[puddinmama]

Hi

basically I have been struggling with depression for close to 5 years ago, been diagnosed with it a few times and have been prescribed anti depressants which I have never took, it seems I go back to the dr get the prescription and then shove it to the back of the cupboard

today I just woke up went out came in and cried for 4 hours, now I have a banging headache, and just feel miserable and hopeless.

I wish I could go back to childhood and just be at home again, but obviously I know I cant but life just seems so useless right now

I dont want to go back to gp as I just cant face her again why was I so stupid not to treat it from the very begining

anyway I'm gonna look out how many packs of citalopram I have in the cupboard do u think I can just start them myself, I was upped to 20mg which I never took do I start there

I guess I may have to face the gp though

thanx

If you have been diagnosed with depression and they are within date and you are sure it is depression you are feeling now I tihnk it is ok to start them.

Start at 10mg first to minimise side effects and you must make sure you see your doc within four weeks of starting as they need to check it agrees with you and they need to set the right dose for you.

As madmouse says, start at 10mg and do see the dr as soon as you can - why not say you didn't take them when first given but want to try them now?

I think you should go and see your GP before you self medicate.

yes, please go back before you start taking the antiD's, esp if it's something like citalopram/seroxat.

hi

doesnt matter now anyways just remembered that I sent the medication I had on the flotilla ships from ireland to gaza, generous arent I

I just dont know why I cant get over the fact that I need help, every time when I get to this point where I hate myself and hate life, and know that I need help

i turn around and just say ah it'll be alright or I just need to get myself together or it wont be like this forever

but then it is like this, I dont even know what happened today to trigger this

thanx everyone

Your GP won't mind you going back. Depression is a clever illness- part of it is you often struggle to seek or accept treatment so it perpetuates itself. You won't be the first person to go back and say they never commenced the medication and it would be really wise to do so.

As you are feeling so low right now, your GP may even suggest other sorts of treatment or support to compliment the medication so it's worth making an appointment. It's hard to take the first step but it is so, so worth it.

Best of luck :)

hey, why not go back to dr, be honest about not taking meds but say you will be prepared to try them this time and why?

And you are not an idiot, you have a complex but treatable illness.

hi

I worry alot about the treatment, my dh's friend who is a dr basically said if I start this medication i'll be on it my whole life which is also what my dh believes, I know its my decision but is that true, is depression for life

thanks for the support

can I aks please what positive things did anti depressants do for anyone whos taken them citalopram in particular will it slow me down

Hi, well I have not found myself on treatment my whole life and I am sure people here will post positive things for you.

For me, when I began on AD's I felt calmer, more able to do things, process things in my head. I didn't find citalopram suited me, but another one did. Remember you can choose to stop taking them if you try them and find they don't help - you are in charge. I am bit concerned about the advice you were given by this friend - do you think you could talk to your gp about your concerens for not taking them?

I don't take citalopram though I know GPs seem to favour this new type of SSRI drug, as it has fewer side effects than the older tricycles which I take.

I don't think your friends friend who is a dr was making a very helpful comment - how can he/she possibly know without knowing anything about you and your particular type of depression. You don't need to be on ADs for life though they do have to be reduced gradually.

For me ADs work very well when I am severely depressed and lift me "off the floor" so to speak. However I think that they only treat the symptoms and you need therapy to look more closely at what is the underlying cause of the depression and learn how to try to stay well, once recovery has taken place.

Hope you get the help you need, and you and your GP should decide what you will take, the GP will advise about the dosage. The thing is though that what AD suits one person doesn't suit another, so sometimes you have to try different ones or different doses, but once that is sorted the worst of your symptoms should be greatly diluted and that is the time to take a closer look at what is causing the depression.

Do hope you get the help you need, as it is a truly horrid illness and cannot be understood unless you have experienced it.

I took anti depressants for 5 years, stopped 3 years ago. I haven't had a depressive episode since, although I did suffer from anxiety after my first son was born 2 years ago. This was successfully treated with hypnotherapy.

ADs are just one tool in treating depression, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and talking therapies are also shown to be highly effective. For me, the ADs allowed me to get well enough to stop punishing myself and explore the other treatments. Through a CBT type therapy, I learnt other ways to cope and was able to slowly reduce and then stop the anti depressants.

It is simply not true that if you start taking the medication you will necessarily be on them for life. You may need them for a long while but there is nothing wrong in that. What matters is that you get better and with the right treatment, you will.

I can't remember exactly which way round it was but I either started on fluoxetine and moved onto citalopram or vice versa. There are lots of options for you, might take a couple of goes to hit on the right one but work with your GP and you'll get there.

hi

when you say 'off the floor' which is where I feel like I am now, do you mean that they gave you some energy as I have none right now

today I just felt like I regretted every single life decision that I have ever made and I just wanted to run away and start a new life somewhere

I think I might make an appointment for tomorrow then

thanx

Gave me mental rather than physical energy- felt like I could cope, not so overwhelmed or frightened by life. But everyone is different.

Oh, I also started exercising after a while which did give me a lot more energy as well as further lifting my mood. Couldn't have contemplated that beforehand!

I will be on ADs for the rest of my life but I have been seriously ill with depression and have had numerous episodes. If you had any other illness you would take the medication, depression is just another illness which needs medication.