bdp

[angel2001]

i really hating this awful illness right now, paranoia, seeing and hearing people around e. apparently being really snappy to everyone. i know the depression has kicked in to. what have i done deserve getting this. as far as i know all i have done is o go out of my way to keep people happy all y life so why this. am shutting myself away but the professional telling me off for this, husband and friend been nagging me all weekend to go out and eat and all i want to do is sleep hhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeelpppppppppp why why why

Sorry a tough time for you right now. Sounds like you have some support, could you tell the professionals why sleeping is preferred? Or maybe go out a little if you can. I know for me having fresh air and sun can help, eventually.

sunshine whats that all we have had is rain for the last week lol. i did go to my group today but found myself having the shoulder to cry on for a friend maybe i will get my turn tomoro if not as usual i will have to hold on till i come out of this patch. its just horrible being here.thanks for taking the time in reasing this. am going back to bed now till another daY x angel

rain here too!
Glad you had group to go to, sorry not the shoulder there you wanted or elsewhere. Sometimes just doing the things that need doing, or even better something just for you, can make that tiny little extra differenc.

well went to group again today and feel a little better as one of the people in group upset me (which is not hard at the moment) but i actually had a rant to one of the physcs there. i got that off my chest. am looking forward to tomorrow as my, my hubby and my dd and her friend are all off to a stately home which has a garden full of water fountains which the kids will enjoy. the first time we had a family day in ages so fingers crossed it all works out and no rain but who knows. dh still asking me to stop being so snappy with everyone so trying hard but it builds up. they just upped my meds so leets see what happens. fingers crossed for sun sun sun tomro

fingers crossed for sun for you too - sounds a lovely day for you all.
Hope med change helps.

When I feel snappy I try and get some space and do something to relax, or get rid of emotions - does that help you?

i had a hour and a half talk wih one of the workers on fri and they decided yes i am in crisis but what they can do they are not sure. they wanted me to phone the crisis team over the weekend which i did but they made me feel worse. i have ended up self harming which i ahve not done in nearly three months. really not enjoying life at the moment everything seems hard work. i keep getting told one of my rapists is dead the other is still around who i do see every now and again to move forward and dont look back. thats so difficult to do when i am having nightmares f it every night and am scared of my own shadow.i am going group again t see someone different to see what they have to say, i jus dont know what to do anymore. crying every night for hours, crying in group for hours and feel no better. why does this happen to me i have done nothing wrong i dont deserve this it should be the people who did this to me suffering like me and i should be enjoying life. i physically and mentally tired

oh well the mental health team won i was admitted to hospital monday , not allowed off ward un escorted visitors are few as everyone busy. not seen doctor not sure when i get to see him i think it will be thursday oh well. hope eveyonr ok xx

In one respect, you are lucky. In our area crisis teams are not on duty outside normal office hours. CMHT in our area make you worse NOT better.

thankyou ,i have ward round tomoro so hopefully they going to get something done instead of sending me home to the same as i was before. i will go mad if they do i need help but the physc wont touch about my abuse because it upsets me to much but then the hospital say its not their job so going round in circle. feel like i am basically being told you were abused and raped for 15 yrs by yours two dads and was drugged and raped by a total stranger so move on with your life and put it behind me. easier said than done

It so annoys me when medical people say "you cannot put the clock back"

When you say that you are dissatisfied with Doctors ignoring you in the past and NOT listening to you, they say "you have to move on" Psychiatric services in this country are largely useless. They should cut all their salaries by forty per cent to save money.

Hi angel, good to hear you are safe and hopefully the admission will help you get help. I found admission led to less help - how weird was that!! Could you see if there is any charity that specialises in sexual abuse that can help? Or rape crisis?

Have you had help with things like: distress tolerance skills etc, to help you cope with the feelings and emotions? Or a referral to a psychologist to go over the rape issues? Here you only get 12 sessions, but I guess if you know that the you make the most of it.

Have you got things to do in hospital to pass the time, as I found that helped me a lot - books, magazines etc.

my ward round was a waste of time. i ended up crying becuase i was trying to explain how i felt aand they told me they would come back tomoro when i had calmed down to talk. then gave me lorazepam and diazepam to calm me down. tomro not going not going to change anything is it, its still going to be there so who knows whst will happen

Hi, sorry that was not what you wanted.
However if that is the way they work, could you do some relaxing breathing or whatever helps you be calm before tomorrow's round so you can talk with them? Tomorrow can change things if you can talk with them.

they have actually changed my meds after 6mths of fighting. lets hope it helps. things are still the same but then only been on it one night cant expect miracles can i. oh well i suppose a bit longer and it will work. had some good news thought becuase i have a severe back problem i hve won high mobility rate yipee.so now i can hopefully get my blue badge. with bloody bdp, spinal stenosis and infected exzma of the ear i need putting down lol. just need to be able to move forward i so want to but cant seem to,. evey professional just tells me to put the pas behind me and move forward can that actually happen, is it me thats wrong am i doing soemthing wrong in life