Can PND suddenly start 9 months after birth?

[Marjee]

Does anyone have experience of this? How likely is it to be just a phase or a few off days?

How many "off" days? I think it's normal to have up and down days. But if it's going on for weeks and weeks that can be more of a worrying sign.

I believe PND is defined as depression that happens within a year of a baby being born, but there is not a clear distinction really. Someone may have had depression before they had a baby so it may just be ongoing depression..

Hope you are ok?

Thanks GetDownYouWillFall (great name btw!). Its been about 2 weeks, maybe 3. I seem to have lost all motivation, it takes all my energy just to do the simplest things. I keep trying to snap myself out of it, this is so not like me

I had PND at about 9 months, although largely I think mine was brought on by sleep deprivation, an unrealistic aim to be like Doris ruddy Day and an inability, because I was trying to be perfect, to ask my DH for help, (also exacerbated by the irrational thought that he should just bloody know what to do, even though I'd never really talked to him about how I was finding things).

I found that the act of recognising that I felt awful and that it wasn't lifting and then asking for help, from my DH, and my GP actually helped a huge amount. I also saw a counsellor for about eight sessions and looked at where my feelings of depression and anxiety had come from. It was brilliantly helpful and although I'm struggling with anxiety at the moment, I'm 30 weeks pregnant, I am soooo much better than I was and feeling like I won't end up in the place I was before.

It would probably be worth you seeing your GP, also to rule out anything physical, you could be anemic, have an undiagnosed thyroid prob, both of which can make you feel lethargic and without motivation.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of an essay, I just wanted to say, you might have PND, but that it is more than recoverable from.

Thanks emskaboo, I can identify with trying to be perfect (and failing miserably). Dh is great but I can't tell him I've been feeling down because I don't want him to be disappointed. I need to get out more but I have no family nearby and all my friends work fulltime so in the day its just me and ds. I've been to baby groups but they all seem quite cliquey and I get self conscious that I'm just sitting on my own. I've been having trouble sleeping too. I seem to spend all my time on mn and obsessing about ds' birth and the crap postnatal care which seems really pathetic after 9 months!

Oh my god, you just described me when my ds was 9 months old, please do try and talk to your DH, because there are things the two of you can do together, and asking for help can in it's own way, imo, be liberating. Lots of, very unmumsnetty, positive vibes!

Marjee, I was diagnosed with PND a month ago and my DD is 14 months old. But when I think back, I think the PND was likely triggered by a very stressful PG and a difficult labour. I didn't even realise there was anything wrong, it was my DH who suggested that I have a chat with the GP.

So YES, in answer to your question!

I have a very similar problem to yourself. I work from home, so I'm on my own all day and then in the evening I don't go anywhere. Since DD was born, I have been out 10 times with friends and only 5 times with DH. That's 15 evenings out in 14 months! I have lost all my confidence and like you the HV has said that I need to get out with DD. She is at a CM and also with my SIL through the week while I work so is getting lots of social interaction, but I don't get any. I used to go night-clubbing on my own in my late teens/early twenties because I knew I'd make friends while I was there - I can't believe how much I've changed.

I don't have any friends with similar age children so like you, I feel very very alone.

I started back at work yesterday after being signed off for 4 weeks (and feeling like I achieved nothing) and feel constantly weepy and out of my depth.

I am amazed how much PND has changed me. I don't suppose you're in the South-West are you? I can't find anyone around here who is in a similar situation...

obsessing about ds' birth and the crap postnatal care which seems really pathetic after 9 months

I see why you feel so down, beleive me I went over two bad births and couldnt believe my second was worse and left me so gutted, I just went over and over it - I can describe minute by minute and he is 15 months now. You are not pathetic at all you are licking your wounds and feel as though you were ripped off and the dream birth didnt happen. Your story isnt unique but I am sure the hospital did theyre best but postnatal has alot to be desired. However you cant change this now, its done you have you a perfect baby and you need to enjoy this short time before they become independant and toddle.

I'm married to a workaholic and stuck at home with two preschool children and helping run the business leaves me no time to myself and hubby could be more helpful! But with one baby you should find it a bit easier. I know what you mean about feeling lonely I think many mums feel the same. However, staying in and staying on the net isnt going to help I'm afraid. Do you have interests/hobbies which you can do while baby is asleep or playing on the mat? Baby groups was never my thing even though I did water babies, but there are groups like baby massage, sing groups which may be more interactive. Because I am so busy in the day, I dont have time anymore to feel lonely but getting out by myself is a breath of fresh air - could you get out a couple of times a week in the late afternoon/evening.

No one ever explains the highs and lows of having a baby, life doesnt suddenly become perfect, really it all goes back to normal and you are expected to mould yourself around this additional person and share yourself around and you have to learn how to enjoy this short special time together.

I found help with "netmums" too this is a great site and there is good post birth section on there. Also you can meet a mum.

Thanks for all your replies, I'm going to try some fresh air therapy! Been doing lots of research on the net about local groups and playgrounds etc so next week we have something planned every day. I've set myself a challenge to approach any other mums I see and start a conversation (without scaring them), bacon you're totally right about the birth I need to stop obsessing about it. Dawn I'm in the south east.