Can anyone advise me on how to help my friend?

[SolidGoldBrass]

She has a long history of MH problems. She is receiving professional care and on ADs but still pretty ill.
Basically, for some time now she has been involved in a dispute with her neighbours, and while I am pretty sure that they have been behaving in a thoroughly unpleasant manner towards her, so much of what she claims they have done is basically not possible (she claims she is being followed all the time, that they have hacked her computer and her phones, that everyone in the area is whispering about her and commenting on every aspect of her life etc). When I see her, I try to be generally sympathetic and occasionally offer practical advice such as, is she seeing the doctor again soon, but distract her and talk about other subjects. Basically should I broadly agree with her that these people are utterly malevolent or should I gently suggest that she might be, erm, misinterpreting things?

Would it be possible to involve her Mental Health Team in this, to express you concerns and what she has being said to you?

Because anything you say will be misinterpreted, at some point or another?

It is an old wives tale that it is better to go along with people's unrealistic believes. It is better usually to gently challenge the thoughts that you think are not realistic or grounded in reality.

I think it may not be a bad idea to ring Mind and get some proper advice (as opposed to mine I mean!)

It sounds difficult to deal with. do you know any of her family or other friends that you could discuss things with?

I am concerned that if I challenge her, she will decide that I am On Their Side or at least untrustworthy and become even more distressed. Her family are useless. Of her other friends, I think they are supportive (of her) but I am a bit concerned that if I say anything to them it might go straight back to her as 'SGB thinks you're making it all up'.

Your friend is demonstrating typical symptoms of a kind of paranoid psychosis (being out of tough with reality) and the examples you describe are classic symptoms of psychotic behaviour. It doesn't make a jot of difference whether you go along with your friend's delusions or challenge her, because she appears to be out of touch with reality and needs medical help asap. You say she is receiving professional help and is on ADs but if depression gets bad enough it can produce a psychotic episode. I am wondering why whoever is helping her is not aware of your friend's mental health issues at the moment.

I think the best way you can help is to talk to whoever is helping your friend and advise them of the sort of things she is saying to you. This isn't being disloyal to your friend - the problem is when people are out of touch with reality they don't realise it and so someone has to get them the help they need. You can ask whoever you talk to that you want to remain anonymous.

I have a close friend who has paranoid psychotic episodes.

I do gently challenge her and for whatever reason she has never included me or my dh in her delusions, where she will often become very paranoid about her family.

I think if your friend fundamentally trusts you she may actually be reassured if you challenge her a bit. It depends how unwell she is really because when my friend is too 'far gone' it doesn't really matter what I say to her.

I have phoned her CPN a few times when I've been worried about her. I will usually try to persuade her to phone herself, but on occasion have phoned when she doesn't know I have. They never tell me anything obviously, but it's just to make sure that they know what's going on. As NanaNina says, you might want to think about doing this.

The way MH patients and their families are treated in this country is a disgrace.

They just try to control people they often fail to help patients to recover and lead normal family lives.

I think I am going to have to find out who to call as she seems to be escalating again.

She has one friend who seems to be at the moment default carer - I know someone else who has his contact details so I will get hold of him and a) tell him that I think she is escalating and suggest he rings MH professionals, or ask him for the relevant names/numbers so I can do so.
Thing is, if I call the MH team, will they take any notice of me? As I am not a family member and probably not on any official list of Concerned People.

SGB - they should do. They've taken notice of me in the past with my friend and arranged to visit her sooner than they were planning. Obviously they will make their own assessment of the situation, and as I say, they won't or shouldn't discuss anything directly with you because of confidentiality. So it'll just be like "thank you for phoning". But they should take your concern on board as it is genuinely meant.