TBH I didnt know where to post this. My sisters 9 year old keep threatening to kill herself where do I go to get him and her help

[Tenalady]

For sometime now my Nephew has been bad tempered, argumentative, just wont do as he is asked regardless of how little or big the ask is. He rants around the house angrily calling his parents all and sundry. They are always to blame.She is sure the whole village can hear him!

My sister has just told me that he has lately on many ocassions threatened to kill himself and has even put a knife up to his throat!

He is a very bright lad in my opinion and I just dont know if this is a call for help or he is being manipulative. Either way this cant be right for a 9 year old.

Do any of you know where I can get her advise on counsellig for him. I found myself n child line website which is of course for kids and then looked at NSPCC but that is more for abuse. Is there a site to help parents find help or counselling for angry kids.

I am really worried about him

Sorry I am in such a tis, typo should read kill himself!

Anyone????

I would suggest a trip to the GP to ask for a referral to CAMHS -Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services. Otherwise depending on your area there may be a school based counsellor - Place2Be have counsellors in lots of primary schools.

Only your family know the situation so no advice on whether this is a personality disorder issue or a desperate plea for help from emotional pain but it's not normal for a 9 year old and they both need help.

Would also be worth getting an urgent referral to paedeatrician to get a full physical and neurological assessment.

Is there something upsetting him at school - perhaps bullying or falling behind academically, has your sister spoken to his teachers. or problems with friendships at home. or parent problems - are they getting on well.
It may be worth considering all these things and more because often kids are unhappy due to problems in their lives or perceived problems. I find it hard to accept that a child is simply depressed and wants to end it all at 9 years old for no apparent reason

Well, he talks of bullying at school and my sister has addressed this with the school. His main concern is a child with learning difficulties that they will deal with but nothing they do makes any difference.

His parents are absolute angels, his father finds it hard to deal with this, leaving his Mother to try and sort it out.

He does find it hard to make friends. I have witnessed myself. He is the leader and full of confidence, other kids dont like it and so they dont play!

He was friendly with one child for a period of time but gave up on him because the child kept getting others into trouble by blaming them for what he himself had done. My nephew decided he didnt want to be friends with him for that reason alone! I thought this was to be admired.

I guess he is very black and white with his behaviour, which as an adult I guess I would prefer but it is not helping him now.

She thought about moving him to another school, but they had a house move just 12 months back and she is worried to upheave him again!

I might try the place 2 be organisation and see if they can help. Thank you both x

I have had very similar problems with my DS friendships are so important at this age, if a child feels left out, bullied or friedless life can seem not worth living. I too admire his decision to not be friends with a kid who deliberately gets others in trouble, but one of lifes lessons is learning to accept the "grey" areas.
It does sound as though school/friendships could be the cause, and if his social skills are the problem then moving schools will only make it worse.
I wish mine had an aunt who cares as much as you obviously do. I would love to hear any useful advice you get, good luck.

www.parentlineplus.org.uk/

I am wondering how long these difficulties have been going on. What has he been like in his earlier childhood. If these problems have been evident for most of his childhood, I wonder what his parents have done to cope with his behaviour. Do the parents have control of this child or is he in control of them. You say his father leaves it all to his mother, which is hardly fair. The parents need to present a united front and be consistent in handling their son. Many parents just give in for a quiet life and of course get the opposite. Do they issue vague threats that aren't carried through. Bad behaviour must have consequences. If it doesn't why should the child take any notice. I would always think that wherever possible positive reinforcement works better than negative, but this doesn't mean that bad behaviour should not have consequences.

I don't want to be alarmist but if this behaviour has started relatively recently I would wonder if this child is being abused in some way (maybe by someone outside of the family) and children who have been abused often talk of suicide.

I think with a boy of 9 the only real help is from a qualified play therapist, as he is too young to be able to understand or co-operate with any other kind of therapy. Play therapy is non directive but if you can find a good one, they can usually be of great benefit. This boy is angry and the root of that anger needs to be found and dealt with before he hits adolesence, as by then the problem will be much worse.

You could find a play therapist with Google but it isn't cheap because they all work on a private basis.

Hope this boy and his parents they help they need.

Your sister should definitely bring him to the gp. It sounds like he really control his emotions and is feeling very angry.

Early invention is essential. The longer it goes on the harder it is to treat and it takes more time to recover.

Some family therapy and one on one for your nephew would be beneficial.

Any talk of wanting to hurt himself I would take very seriously.

I really hope he and the family get the support and help they need.