Feeling really meh about everything at the moment.

[poshsinglemum]

Could I be depressed?

Mum was diagnosed with cancer four weeks ago and although the operation was succesful I have been feeling really down.

I havn't had a decent relationship for 10 years and I have had plenty of abusive encounters which have made me feel crap about myself. I would like a partner one day but I really can't be aresd at the moment and just feel that I will choose another looser.
When I get like this I can't stand other people. I tend to feel that all people are mean and that noone is 100 nice. I don't feel like I can truly trust anyone.
I lay in bed the other night totally incredulous about my life choices and worried that I will never make a good decision.
I just don't feel inspired or motivated. I feel totally disillusioned by life. I feel disillusioned by love. I love being a mum but it is soooo much harder that I thought and I'm gutted that I ended up as a single mum. I am frustrated because it's summer and in the past I would have gone on a fun singles holiday but I can't do anything because I'm a skint mum.

So all in all a bit MEH really.

I am alos worried about mum and have been thinking about mortality.

Hi sorry you are feeling a bit flat about everything. I'm not an expert but you might be a bit depressed - one of the symptoms is that you don't get the same pleasure out of things you used to love doing and nothing really gets you excited anymore.

It also sounds like you've had a really tough time with your mum which must have taken its toll and left you really drained, especially as you have a little one to look after too.

Have you thought about getting some support? I am sure your GP would be able to point you in the right direction - maybe some counselling so you have someone who's there for you so you are not carrying the weight of looking after your little person and your mum by yourself.

It might also help work out why you feel you might not have made great decisions about relationships in the past so you can get to a place where you attract and are attracted to nice men.

The really good thing is that you've realised there might be something up so you can do something about it.

Sorry, I am not sure that's been much help; hopefully someone with a bit more experience will be along soon but I just wanted to say hello and that I hope things look up soon.

Just remember that you deserve to be happy, not just to feel that you are only existing

I'm also in love with someone and he has rejected me even more despondent. Some good advice though thanks.

Oh that is really hard. Do you have friends around who can help? I know you said that you found it difficult to be around people when you are feeling down so I just thought I'd check.

It sounds like you have so much on your plate that some time with a sympathetic counsellor might really help.

It will get better! xx