Managing anxiety

[Midge25]

Have had various episodes of depression and anxiety since my early twenties, and looking back, think before that too. Had trichtillomania (obsessive hair pulling) in primary school, and found alcohol/smoking a great way of managing stress by my early teens. I am a classic high achiever whom everyone thinks is v capable, but underneath it all I feel like a total imposter. Most days I am eaten up with worries, about mistakes I've made at work, whether dd is eating okay/enjoying nursery ad nauseum ad finitum, and its ruining my life. I work ridiculous hours, partially because much of my time is spent checking and re-checking things, and tonight am riddled with panic about a mistake I may or may not have made today - the colleague I needed to speak too (more checking!) had gone home for the day and am trying to face this alone tonight. Does this ring any bells for anyone? How do people manage/cope with these feelings. Have had 3 x courses of anti-depressants since the age of 21 (now 31) and feel they do help (am not on anything currently) but also sense I need to get a grip on this as it's taking over my life. I am conscious of beginning to alienate close friends and my dh with my need for constant reassurance. A guy said at work last week that he never thinks about his job after he leaves. I filled up, I was so envious of him.

I don't think I've ever been this honest in RL. Was conditioned out of it by mum, who suffers from bipolar. In my teens I found a suicide note from her; it was unfinished and to this day, she doesn't know I saw it. It plagues me that she may become unwell enough to do something when I'm not there/unable to help and I have for a long time felt unable to share with her incase it damages her own equilibrium. Dh is a great support but it seems no-one has enough reassurances to satisfy me.

I am using this website to help me.

www.livinglifetothefull.com/

I think that moderate/ severe depression/ anxiety does need medication. However you need to learn more constructive ways of dealing with stress and worry.

midge u r not alone - my mum also suffers bi-polar and i understand the rages, the notes, nastiness (at times) etc. I also understand the double and treble checking things - and the feelings of paranoia.
Re your mum - its awful that you need to keep yourself in check for fear of tipping her over.
Goodness knows where it will end but i will be on mn supporting you xxx

Hi Midge. You sound very similar to me, although I did not have to read anything like you did as a teenager
I have done a CBT course which I was sent on by the GP, but it only helped a little in the short term. My anxiety rules me - I am not able to control it that well.
I did not go back to work after having DD because we relocated and it just didn't work out. I was a terrible worrier and perfectionist when I did work full time. Instead now I just constantly worry that I am being a crap parent, crap wife, the list goes on. This isn't that helpful to you, I know, but hope you feel better to know you are not alone.
I saw my GP today as it is causing me (and DH) sleep problems and it was all a bit unhelpful. She said I should join a gym - we are really broke. Then she suggested funding some hypnotherapy myself, even though I had already told her we had no money. Then she suggested I ask for some therapy as a birthday present from my parents . I am gonna look at the website suggested by reallytired.

I'm also a worrier and anxiety sufferer and just to add - a couple of other websites I find useful are moodgym website and moodscope. The first one is cbt-type thing and the other is one that keeps track of your feelings each day on a graph to help identify triggers or when you need extra support.

Why do health profesionals always suggest you join a fekkin gym when you are experiencing acute anxiety. I had one advise me to take up knitting once

I have the work thing. I am a nurse and i am always convinced i am going to get suede for a mistake I have made and I will obsesively worry and replay a situation over in my head for weeks.

My husband can let his work mobile ring out if it is after office hours. I jump and pick mine up straight away convinced that I am in trouble and there is a life threatening situation that is my fault. I envy him. The only good thing to come out of it is that I am extremely safe and competent at the procedure I perform because it is the only way that I can move on. i am over over careful which is a good trait in my profession. I too check check and double check things.

I am now on sertraline tablets which have finally done the trick. My anxiety is there but only about 10% of what it used to be, I just couldn't function before. It is worth having it re assesed.