I'm starting this thread because I'm concerned about a friend who I suspect has suffered with a low level of depression/anxiety for some years.
He is male, mid fifties and always lived with his parents. I think he had a few girlfriends along the way but nothing permanent and I suspect he's always been unwilling to commit.
His parents had a very traditional marriage. His mother cooked, cleaned and ironed well into her seventies and this seemed to suit them all fine as he went out to work and contributed to household bills etc.
Eventually his parents' health began to fail and I noticed that the house started to become untidy as his mum couldn't keep up with it. Only five or six years ago they were still at the stage of wanting to decorate/lay new carpets so there was some degree of being houseproud on his mother's part, though the furniture was always old and shabby.
His mum had a stroke in 2007 and though she recovered, she was left with mobility problems and now required carers four times a day. From what I can tell, she spends all day in the same chair watching telly (she's about 85 now). His father died in 2008 and I don't think he ever really grieved.
Just recently I have visited my friend and his mum and was shocked at the state of the house. It's become quite dirty over the last couple of years but it's really quite filthy now and there are piles and piles of 'stuff' everywhere, from unopened junk mail to newspapers. His father's belongings are still scattered around 18 months after his death, the kitchen is piled high with shopping that hasn't been put away, the garden has been allowed to become overgrown. Even my coffee cup and saucer were pretty dirty when I was offered a drink. The carpet that used to be a rusty colour is now almost black with what I assume to be grease from the nearby kitchen. I don't think it's been hoovered in years.
His mum looks depressed at the sight of the house falling into disrepair - she shakes her head and looks at me. He has just retired from his job and brought home so much 'stuff' from his office that it fills the dining room and you can hardly open the door. I have tried to tackle him about it in a jokey way (threatening to hire a skip when he's gone out!) but he brushes it off and says he's too busy to sort it all out, or else says he will sort it all out when I know he won't.
I'm concerned about both of them TBH - particularly his state of mind. I wonder what will happen when his mum eventually passes away. It would be great if he could find a lady to have a relationship with as he's a nice man, but any normal woman would run a mile.
WWYD in my position? They have no family apart from each other.