Seperation Anxiety.

[AndreaisSlowlyLosingIt]

Hi, I've been suffering depression on and off now for about 11 years seeing a new therapist now and she belives I may be suffering Seperation Anxiety stemming from being taken away from my Nan at the age of 3 to live with my Mum who I barely knew. She thinks I may be suffering from it with my Husband now and this is causing my panic attacks whenever I'm alone. Shes also reccomended I am not left on my own at all as I am a serious risk to my own safety. I just feel so screwed up now. I don't know what to do anymore. How the hell can I sort out my seperation anxiety with my Husband? I don't want to burden him with me anymore than I already do.

Poor you, didn't want to leave you unanswered - it sounds awful for you and must be hard on him too. Are there any other family members or friends who can spend time with you to take the pressure off DH? Hopefully people with experience of separation anxiety will be along soon to give you some good advice.

Thanks Kirsty the only member of my family I speak to is my Nan and shes 200 odd miles away and no friends unfortuntly either.

That sounds very depressing and distressing for you but I have a few question marks by what your therapist has said. First of all if she's recommending you are not left alone for your own safety you really need to be seen by someone more medical and qualified than a therapist.

Secondly 3 is generally speaking '''too old''' for separation anxiety - that kind of fear is usually pre-verbal. It is quite possibly that you have an attachment issue, because you did not bond very clearly with a single care giver when you were a small baby maybe because you were handed to your nan (out of necessity i'm totally sure). What little ones need to find out is that the care giver leaves and comes back and that the child can leave and come back and the care giver is still there. if that doesn't happen attachment gets damaged.

I did not bond properly with my mum due to stuff that went on when i was two and the issue sounds similar. It has affected my relationship with my husband (together 13 years now and only just stopped waiting for him to leave)and with my friends, particularly those who are supporting me through a very difficult and hellish time in my life right now - I constantly expect them to have had enough and go.It is getting a lot less though with some really good counselling. I'm learning to find strength in myself and not always need others. So there is hope.

Maybe it is wise to ask your gp for a referral to specialist mental health services.