I need talking to, hand holding etc

[Flamesparrow]

I'm crumbling. I have PMT which I know is making things worse.

It is just over a month since DH said we were stopping the trial separation and just splitting up.

I am still so lost and confused. Had a fabulous day/evening together on Saturday which has just emphasised that we are good together. It is making me ache even more.

Stupid as it sounds, I only really registered yesterday that he is now single and can do whatever/whoever he likes. As far as I know, he doesn't want anyone else, but he has a female friend who is interested and I can see the whole one thing leading to another happening so much more easily when there is no commitment to stop it.

I am over thinking everything.

I miss him desperately. I don't want to be alone here night after night any more. Where I'm in such a slump the house has gone to hell over the last few days, and the children have just had crap for dinner. They would be better off with anyone else.

I just want him to turn up and tell me he was a moron and we can try again. I don't see us as being completely over in the future, but that doesn't change the NOW, and the now I am struggling to survive.

Flame will be holding your hand and reading your post just as soon as I've put ds in bed x

This month has been as much of a clean break as possible (with 3 kids involved), and then he kept inviting me to do stuff throughout Saturday and although part of me said no, the rest of me said that I miss him, and if I want to save this, pushing him away when he is trying is the wrong thing iyswim.

I'm so tired.

Oh Flame this is just so tough, especially since you are both single but he gets the fun bits and you get the single parent bit with the worry and drudgery it entails.

The current situation seems to be so confusing with you feeling you had a really good day together in the weekend. if you've split up (even just for now0 it may be good to go a bit more formal - access arrangements and no time together. The kids need to know where they stand too.

And no they are not better off with anyone else...

I was doing so well last week, I have been talking to a mate who has been helping me with my issues, and explaining a lot about DH too.

I just want to shake him. We are good together, we make each other happy, we have 3 gorgeous children. Why can he not see that?! I want to go back to the start of the year armed with my new insight and handle things so differently.

I know wishing does me no good. I know I have to accept my new world, but it hurts so much. I found two old valentine's card last week with him saying he would never leave me. I still mean everything that was written in mine.

I want it to stop hurting. I don't want to sleep alone again tonight.

You will survive this,you will

re things going to pot in housework terms,well you should see my place

i just couldn't be arsed today and it is a tip.

also,I fed my children pizza,chips and ice cream tonight as again i couldn't be arsed.

i am in slightly different circumstances suffice to say my other half has also gone and is never coming back.It is 6 weeks in and am also getting the lows and crap points but i am trying hard to see positives in the children,and have planned a holiday with them in summer,just to get away from the house etc.Small small steps.

found mumsnet great especially at night when it gets very lonely

i wish i could take the pain away for you but sadly i cant so i am sending you a comradely hug and a virtual glass of wine

take care xx

I spent years sat in because he wouldn't go out, said it made him panicked etc. Even encouraging him to go out alone with his friends was hard. Now he appears to have mastered that fear and is living the life that should have been ours.

Why wasn't I good enough?

Oh Gazza I have just seen your post on another thread. I am so sorry

Oh don't worry.I don't want to be all depressing and maudlin.

I just wanted you to know that we are going through similar crap in that we are both currently newly LPs whatever the circs,and i am curently a bit blindsided by it all too and you aren't alone

Sends Wine and Hug