Is it possible to 'fix' my mental health?

[jumpyjack]

Not quite sure what I'm asking here, but I've realised what I want to do is to get fit with regard to my mental health, much in the same way others do with physical health.

I think that state of my mental health is fragile and is an ongoing issue in my life that holds me back. And I think it's the same for several other women in my family (including my mother and grandmother) and I think I'd like to 'fix' it. But is this possible?

I'm in a fairly bad state at the moment and am going back onto ADs, but even when I don't need ADs, I think my spirals of negative thinking, inability to focus, commit etc cause me real problems in my life including my career, physical health, and my relationships.

I don't have any particular issues from my past. And I'm holding down a job, marriage, study etc. But there's definitely some strands of depression/mental instability running through my family, and I want to break it - for me, but also for my kids. Or I am just lazy and unfocused, and this just my personality?

So I guess what I'm pondering, is can I get my mental health in shape, and where do I start?

1. look at diet
2. look at lifestyle
3. try some form of CBT/counselling/therapy. If you have unhealthy patterns of thinking, it is very difficult for you to sort these out yourself. So hence trying to get some outside help.

My doctor gave me the link to what looked like a good online CBT programme. Have lost link and didn't finish it (had real-life counselling 'instead'). Maybe see if your GP has a link...

Good luck! Don;t forget it's ok to be sad sometimes and have off days. Sometimes it's better to go with it and take care of yourself than try to pretend all is well.

Wow, that's a big question jumpyjack!
I can relate to your question and feel I am in a similar position to you, especially the mother/grandmother thing.
I have now had a daughter and very much hope that she will be free of this anxiety/depression, whatever it is, that seems to get passed on.
I had therapy in my mid-twenties which really seemed to move me on and everyone noticed big changes in me. I have felt 'freer' and happier since that. However, I still have big challenges in my life at times. I think one way to think of it is what you have gained by having had to work a little harder and coping with life than maybe others do. Maybe it has made you more compassionate to others, maybe more open minded, more insightful.
Some people just bury their 'issues' and it comes out as anger and aggression or downright nastiness; I think I'd rather be a bit neurotic than like that!
I have found yoga to be a huge help in stabilising my moods. If I don't do it for a few weeks I really feel the difference. I know it's not for everyone but you may be able to find something similar to help?

Thanks for your thoughts adair and arcadia96.

Right, so CBT/therapy of some sort. I'm off to the GP later in the week so will ask for a referral or recommendation.

I've never found yoga relaxing, but perhaps I can find something similar that works for me. And diet.

Okay, starting to form a plan.

My husband has a serious long-term mental condition. He's in pretty good shape at the moment (though I'll be honest, he is thrown off balance by things much more easily than anyone would realise). Things that have really helped (over a long period):

1. Being cautious with medication. He is on meds and probably will be for most of his life,although we have an ultimate goal for him not to be on them. However, he is on the lowest possible dose, which he increases or decreases himself based on 20 years of experience.

1. Exercise. I'm talking between 1 - 4 hours a day.

1. Rethinking his entire attitude to work. He used to have a highly pressured job, and it was a big part of his identity. But over a long period and a lot of ups and downs, he came to feel that the particular pressures of that job were not good for his health. He initially became self-employed, and I think this is better. He's currently a SAHD which is great in some ways, but the pressures of not earning are sometimes as bad as the pressures of work! It's always going to be a balance, but frankly being the highest-status guy in the cemetery is no longer his goal (I hope).

1. Mindfulness meditation. He was referred to a mindfulness group by his psychiatrist. There's good evidence that it works for anxiety and depression. I thoroughly recommend it. You do have to commit to /allow yourself daily practice though.

1. Food. Have a trawl on the Mind website for foods that promote mental health - a classic one is bananas as they contain tryptophan. Obviously alcohol, as a depressant, is a poor idea, although dh does occasionally drink now (never more than a glass). Regular intake of food is important, though stuffing all day is not!

I hope some of these ideas help. I think personally that the exercise one is the key - I can see the difference in dh whenever he has had enough exercise. He's away today walking up Snowdon! It takes serious commitment to do the amount of exercise he needs but it is more important than anything else. You need the full support of your partner because it is a lot of time for anyone with a family, though obviously as children get older it's possible to do more of the exercise together. Best of luck.

oh sorry, I forgot SLEEP which is probably higher than number 5 - maybe number 3.5. It seems to be particularly vital for those with bipolar forms of illness, but actually I think it's important in any mental health condition. I note that you were posting at 11.30 at night (don't we all) - think seriously about putting yourself into sleep training so that you get a regular 8 hours or whatever you need.

Something that really helped strengthen my mind to postive thinking is affirmations. These are phrases that are positive and help focus your mind on good things, and push away negative thinking. It is based on the fact that the subconscious takes literally what is fed to it, so if the mind constantly says "I am no good, I am useless", then your subconscious will believe it, and in time you will feel useless and your mental health will spiral into depressed thoughts and feelings.

Write down ten sentences in the present tense, that are positive statements relating to your life.

Such as "I am calm and relaxed"
"I am capable and loving"
"Today is a good day"
"I believe my life is full of joy and peace"

Or whatever. Put in some sentences relating to your particular problem, but turn it around into the positive. So if you are generally shy, but want to be confident, say it: "I am a confident and loving. People enjoy my company". Or something like that.

Say them out loud 3 times a day, or more. AFter a short time, your subconscious mind will believe it.

I used to be severely depressed, and with the help of affirmations and getting into the fresh air every day, i felt so much better.

That would be my tip of the day! Hope it helps.

I don't think you can 'fix' mental health issues, but you can learn to manage them.

I have learnt to manage mine most of the time by:

Eating sensibly
Drinking lots of water and cutting out drinks with aspartame in
Exercising frequently
Trying to life mindfully
Reading books by Ekhart Tolle
Meditation
Yoga (this, and meditation, is basically practising living mindfully, and in the moment - you may not have found yoga relaxing because you had the wrong teacher. Find someone who does teaches yoga therapeutically - what used to be called viniyoga)
Getting out each day
List-writing

And not taking anti-depressants.!

Thanks all. Good to hear others have managed to 'manage' their mental health in practical ways.

I know I don't get enough fresh air and exercise, so that is likely to be part of any solution.

Thanks again - you've all given me lots of good tips.