PND and coping with older children

[ginandslim]

Hi - this is the 1st time I've looked at mumsnet....Once again I can't sleep (4.30am) and the doc told me today that I have postnatal depression. A friend said I should take a look at Mumsnet - you may be able to help me! (no pressure) - so here I am! HI!

I've got a 4.5yr old a 2yr old - I have been really really horrible lately and esp to my husband - today my eldest asked me 'why was I always so cross.'

I have been prescribed anti depressants - which i will start tomorrow (i'm terrified they'll bring on more side effects - can;t be doing with anything else crappy at the mo) - but mainly I just can't get my head round how I'm going to cope over the long summer holidays feeling like this and also how I can make up for the last year of being like this and not being a great mum and also how to make my children know that i'm not the real me at the moment.

I'm also finding it hard to find anything about dealing with this when your children are older - all the advise is about babies. I think I have been rumbling along in this pea-soup of greyness and emptiness for about 18 months now.

Grrrr!

didn't want to read and run...hopefully someone will be along with good advice

do you have someone who can come and help with the DCs over the summer - even if its only for a few days?

really hope the ADs work

I am dreading the summer holidays too! Is there a summer camp that your eldest could go to? I know 'lighthouse' is around which is run by the church, never been, but I hear good things about it.
Which meds are you on?
There are lots of people on here who will understand how you are feeling, there is a thread for those of us who can't sleep as well.
Crack on with the tablets and you should start to feel better.X

Thank you for the messages - was really surprised someone would take time to write back to me!

Horrid day as I started the AD - Citrolpram (something like that!) and they have made me feel quiet ill on top of everything else - mainly nausea and a head ache, but that could be due to fact I drank no alcohol last night and then managed only 2hours sleep, but I will keep persevere with them for now.

My DD aged 2.25 is really testing me - as only a 2year old can - I am having to really reign my temper in with both DD's which is proving to be a huge challenge (not always successful!)

...but weirdly now I know why I am feeling so bad, I feel like some weight has been lifted - that there is a reason why I am like this, not that I'm a bad person with horrible thoughts. I can't wait to find my laugh.

But quite how I am going to cope without my usual evening gin - who know's!

How's it going?

Thanks topsi!
Strange to say 'Good thanks' - strange things have come out of 'all of this' - having now faced upto the fact i need some help, I have started to talk about stuff and importantly to my mum again - and have sorted SO much deep stuff out these past couple of days - and after 4 years we have finally said stuff that needed saying and I feel a huge weight has lifted on that part of my life - so much good has come from all of this - long may it continue and I'm really looking forward to the AD's kicking in!
Thanks for listening!
Hope you;re OK!