I don't know why I'm so angry

[Rosedee]

I hope this makes sense, I am feeling really stressed right now. Am trying sleep training with my gorgeous 7 month old ( pupd not CIO) I can't bear for my son to cry and it's upsetting me. I am doing it by myself as his bedtime is before dp gets home from work. I keep losing my temper not just at bedtime and can't seem to get a grip. I spent most of yesterday and this morning crying and when dp got home yesterday he ignored me cos I sent him a text being nasty cos I felt unsupported which just made me cry more.
I just don't know what to do I have temper and keep shouting but my dp doesn't seem to want to help me, the house is a mess and I can't keep ip with and I know I'm rambling but really not very happy at the mo. Help

Poor you rosedee. Sorry don't understand the acronyms in your second line? But anyway I can really sympathise. I have a 7 month old DD and often get stressed out. When she cries it really gets to me and I don't handle it well and can often end up crying myself. Bedtime is a really difficult time too as you start to relax and look forward to having some time to yourself and then if they won't go down to sleep it's really frustrating and difficult. I would struggle too if my DP was not home for bedtime - as it is that is often a difficult time between us because we are both tired and ratty and hungry, and want to chill out but there is always so much to do.
I've found myself to be quite an angry person since I had DD which has surprised me as I imagined myself as a lovely serene mum but actually it is very difficult.
Hang on in there. It is a phase and they always seem to go on forever but it constantly changes.
You obviously adore your baby and it will all be OK it's just very hard work and people don't always admit that.

Why are you sleep training such a tiny baby if it is making you so stressed! Relax and go with the flow for a bit longer and try again when he is about a year. My ds would have been nowhere ready at that age, he was at 12months and it took a few days for him to 'get' it.

Sometimes we are making this parenting lark harder than it needs to be bysticking to these imaginary ideals that babies need to sleep through.

I'm sorry to say that I don't really have much help to offer on this one, but I do want you to know that you aren't alone in feeling like this.
I too have been struggling with my own mood and temper recently due to the stress of bringing up two young DCs while feeling almost completely unsupported.
It can be really hard to get a grip sometimes, can't it. When DH is home he just tells me to ignore DD's tantrums or to calm down. Neither help and him saying that just makes me feel more stressed and as though he doesn't understand.
One thing that has helped is a herbal remedy made from passion flower extract. I can't offer you a brand name in the UK, but I'm sure a pharmacy or health food shop could point you in the right direction if you ask.
It is a natural, herbal medicine that relaxes you. It can be used in low doses to calm and avoid stress and in slightly higher doses to combat insomnia.
Maybe it could help you too...

You are not on your own, I don't know how to advise so I'll tell you my story.

I am a very calm, happy person, I hardly ever used to loose my temper.

When I was pregnant with dd I blamed the hormones for making me feel crazy. When dd was 6 months old I blamed the lack of sleep for what was becoming a terrible anger. When dd was 9 months old my mother was reading the paper about some woman who had hurt her kids, she said "How could anyone be so evil". I understood how that woman felt, my anger had become so bad, I had to hold myself back from hurting my dd. It's a painful thing to admit but thats the truth. I went to the doctor who prescribed ad's and I went for CBT. The ad's did help, the CBT maybe helped the way I think but it was still there. Dd stopped feeding from me at 18months and my anger went with it and I stopped the ad's. I truely believe it was the hormones or a chemical imbalance as my hv calls it.

When I got pregnant with ds I felt it building again so soon after he was born I went back on the pills. I think it's better to bf and be on ad's than to not bf at all. I enjoy doing it and I love the bond I have with ds. He's 11mo and showing no signs of cutting down feeding so we'll just go until he's ready to stop.

Anger is part of pnd but it's not as common as feeling down. My hv explains it as a chemical imbalance that just happens sometimes, she joked that I'll go even more mental when the monopause starts.

With you it could be this, or it could be sleep deprivation or pnd.

If it gets to the point that you feel you are struggling to control it, go to the doctor. You don't have to get ad's there are other options. I found ringing towels in the bathroom helped or going into the garden shed and shouting obsenities. Sounds silly but you've got to let it out.

Hope this helps, it's very lonely being angry.

Sorry should have explained not trying to get him to sleep thru we are trying to stop rocking him to sleep as we stupidly started doing that and now he can't settle himself, I wanted to try something that didn't involve him crying it out do am trying pick up put down where you stay with them but only pick up when really upset otherwise comfort them while they are in cot,
He is falling asleep eventually without rocking after an hour of crying and I can't stand it. But I can't keep rocking him. It's doing my head in and I'm getting stressed which doesn't help and I'm fed up with feeling so alone . I don't have any family here, they are 200 miles away.
Thank you your replies. I must sound like such a rubbish mum.

You are not a rubbish Mum, it's bloody hard work.

I started rocking dd to sleep when I stopped feeding her to sleep, it was harder to stop rocking than it was feeding

I couldn't stand the crying so I did the "No Cry Sleep Solution". Basically you rock until they're almost asleep then put them down. If they cry start again. It took about 3 weeks for us to go from rocking to a quick cuddle and rock to putting into the cot awake and rubbing her back until she fell asleep. She actually slept really badly most nights anyway but bedtime became allot easier after that.