Really on the edge

[Kaloki]

Both me and DP are so close to losing it. I'm don't think we can take anymore.

We've been told in the last few days-

• DP will not receive any further Mental Health support as he has been mentally ill for too long
• I have been told I am not disabled enough despite not being able to walk unaided
• That our flat that we have lived in for a whole 4 months is being sold and we have to leave

On top of that -

• I may be pregnant (which would be fantastic news if it wasn't for everything else)
• DP has an income support tribunal tomorrow which may decided that we are not entitled to IS, and would have to go on JSA
• We are getting married in 2 months

So.. to sum up. We are broke, possibly about to become more broke. We are not entitled to an extra support. We are ill and also not receiving help.

The savings that we did have are either already going on the wedding (all booked) or will be going on flat hunting, and we will possibly have no money to deal with a baby. (And no I really cannot face a termination )

I want to self harm so badly, so does DP. I almost asked him to commit suicide with me the other night and that was before losing the flat. If tomorrow goes badly I'm not sure either of us will beable to resist

You need to see a gp together.

there will be lots of advice forthcoming. but a couple suicide pact needs everyone to tell you to get to the doctors

You poor things. You need to see a doctor, and fast. Make an emergency appointment. If you feel bad right now, get on the phone to the samaritans, NHS direct or DPs mental health team (if they have a crisis number). Ring 999 if you feel that you may harm yourselves right now. I have been there, you need help, and you need it now.

I will say, however, if you can just get through this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Things can get better.

Please get help. You have each other, you may have your baby now and you can come back from this. Please tell someone exactly how you are feeling. Is there anyone who can advocate on your behalf? Because I know how hard it is to demand help when you are really low.

This is rock bottom now, but you do have things to look forward to. Please ask for urgent help.

Agree with custardo - totally

And in all honestly babies don't cost that much money. They don't get expensive until later. And it sounds like you may be entitled to a maternity grant.

You both need to think of the baby you may be carrying and the parents it needs and get help!

Soory I din't reply last night, he came in just as I hit post with blood runing down his arm where he'd cut himself.

We're going to try and see the GP tomorrow.

We've just got to get through today somehow

Pick up the phone and ring your GP now, ask for an emergency appointment.

We can't today, got the damned tribunal in a couple of hours

Just wanted to say good luck at the drs today- please be honest as especially if you are pregnant you need urgent help to deal with the self harm and suicidal thoughts. I'm thinking of you, please let us know how you get on.