Eight years ago I had severe postnatal depression. I pestered my health visitor so much that she got fed up of me. She decided that she no longer wanted to be my health visitor. She had referred me to a postnatal support group, but I needed far more.
I was not eating or coping with life. My behaviour at the time was odd because I was so ill. I had delusional ideas about breastfeeding and I think it was unfair on the other mums at the postnatal depression support group. In fact my GP decided to prescribe anti pschycotic medication. My first health visitor and GP never spoke to each other. My GP did not appreciate quite how ill I was or know that my first health visitor was no longer wanting to be involved in my care.
It took two months to arrange another health visitor for my family. During these two months my husband had no support.
By the point I was allocated a second health visitor, the medication had kicked and I was more sane.
The first thing the new health visitor did was tell my GP what had happened and refer me to the community mental health team. By this point I did not really need such intentive help.
Eight years on I have another baby. This time I have been far healthier. However I feel incredible burning anger with my first health visitor. I feel sad that my son's first christmas and birthday are a bit of a blur. Maybe I did not deserve proper nursing care, but my poor husband and baby had to cope on their own.
I seen how different things can be and I feel very bitter. The pent up anger is eating me up and I do not know what to do.
I am thinking of requesting my medical notes that covered this period. It is quite an expensive thing to do and I am not sure if it will give me the answers I want.