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Family planning

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Would you like to have the size of family you were born into?

68 replies

NewLion · 27/03/2026 17:39

For example if you were 1 of 10 kids, would you like to have 10 kids?

OP posts:
xMonochromeRainbowx · 06/04/2026 17:58

We have 4 children - 7, 6, 4.5 and 3 weeks. We were done after the third but then I wanted another, DH didn't at first. I maybe wanted a 5th close in age but my last 2 pregnancies were full of problems with births at 31 and 30 weeks, so we're now done.

I'm the eldest of 4 girls, they were 6.5, 9 and 11 years younger than me which was always shit as I had no one close in age and it was always the 3 of them together and then me by myself. Also I got parentified all the time.

Cause of my experience I said all my kids would be close in age so that there isn't one person left out with a massive age gap. Obviously now there's a much bigger age gap between my 4th and the other 3 but I'm hoping it'll be different as she's the youngest rather than the eldest. She's also my 4 year old's only sister as the 2 eldest are boys, so most likely they'll still be close. My sister's don't have kids yet, they're 16, 18 and 21.

DH is one of 6 but his eldest sibling died so he's been one of 5 for ages now, he's the middle child. One of his sisters has 6 kids as well, one brother has 5, other sister has 2 and his brother doesn't have any yet, so it's a mix. Not sure how many kids DH would have had if I didn't want a lot of them, it was mostly all my idea.

cranberryshortcake · 07/04/2026 17:06

BlimeyO · 28/03/2026 06:26

Interesting thread, thanks OP.

I’m the middle one of three sisters, and there is no way ON EARTH I wanted to subject another person to being a middle child.

I have two children.

Interestingly, my sisters each have four children and could not understand my decision at all.

So in my case, position in birth order was also a factor in deciding the number of children.

Why is that, out of interest?
Posting as not the middle child, considering inflicting being a middle child on my youngest.

wellfuckadoodledoo · 07/04/2026 17:11

No, I was an only child of a single parent. There were some advantages - we were very close - but mostly it was lonely and forced me to grow up way too fast.

I’m married with 2 DC - but would have gone for 3, possibly even 4, if DH had been up for it.

Daffodilsinthespring · 07/04/2026 17:38

I’m an only. My dd (adult) is an only

Calliopespa · 07/04/2026 17:40

2 or 4 I think works better than 1 or 3.

Upstartled · 07/04/2026 17:58

I'm one of three, so is dh and we have three, by design. It's been brilliant, works for us.

Otherdimensions · 07/04/2026 18:37

cranberryshortcake · 07/04/2026 17:06

Why is that, out of interest?
Posting as not the middle child, considering inflicting being a middle child on my youngest.

Yes, I’m also really keen to know why? As a mum of three! 😬

Yeahyeahyeahnooooo · 07/04/2026 18:51

I was an only child and hated it, it was boring, lonely and sad.b
I've got 2 myself and they fight half the time and are best friends the other half.

Numbersarefun · 07/04/2026 18:53

I’m one of 3, DH is one of 3 and guess what? We have 3!
None of our siblings have 3 though - 2 have 2, 1 has 1 and 1 has 0. I’d imagine everyone is a bit old to have anymore now. Waiting for Grandchildren.

MotherofPearl · 07/04/2026 18:57

fourpercent · 27/03/2026 21:09

I'm one of three, so is DH, we have three DC

Same here.

Wynter25 · 07/04/2026 19:00

Im 1 of 4. Had 3

OhMehGoddess · 07/04/2026 19:01

Good lord no. Can’t think of anything worse than having 5 kids. Just my opinion, nothing against big families, I’m one of 5. My mum was one of 6.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 07/04/2026 19:04

I'm an only. So I made sure I had more. I didn't like it, and don't like it now as an adult either. Not that having a sibling guarantees getting on with them, or happiness. But I think it would have taught me a hell of a lot more life skills than I had when I was growing up. And even now. I struggle with friendships a lot. I see the benefits of siblings for my children, as well as the negatives of course. But for us, the benefits outweigh the negatives.
DH is one of 10. He had one child, then met me. I already had 3 and didn't want more. He wanted more (but not 10, although he views his childhood positively, he also sees how 10 kids was a hell of a lot - in a 3 bed house!). He realised 4 between us was enough and is happy with the ones we have! They were 15, 4, 2 and 8 months when we met. Now 24, 13, 10 and 9 and all get along well other than 13 and 10 who are direct brother siblings 🙈.

SerenitySeeker4 · 07/04/2026 19:05

I'm one of 3 kids. So, yes def.

Cozicanhahaha · 07/04/2026 19:11

Calliopespa · 07/04/2026 17:40

2 or 4 I think works better than 1 or 3.

I think your right there as my mum had 4, say 10,9,8 & 2 and that was basically 3 and 1 as us older 3 were not interested in staying home playing with a toddler when we could be out with our friends

But then as a 3, someone was always being or feeling left out 😅

MostArdently · 07/04/2026 19:15

I’m one of three and I have three. I only wanted two but second pregnancy was twins! My DH is an only child and he wanted more than one as he always wanted a sibling.

Snugglemonkey · 07/04/2026 19:17

I am one of 3. I have 2. I would love to have 4, but cannot afford to and give them the life I want to.

Summerunlover · 07/04/2026 19:20

Absolutely not was an only child. Unfortunately have infertility issues so didn’t get the size of family I would have wanted.

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