Tell me about vasectomies on the NHS

[Si1ver]

Specifically how your partner (you) went about getting one or if you ended up going private.

Husband and I are both in our early 40s, young (2) child conceived through private IVF after lots of heartache. We've recently decided to close the door on a second for loads of reasons and we'll be donating our remaining embryos.

Chemical contraception sends me batshit crazy and my copper coil is making me bleed though EVERYTHING and I need to have it out. I can't cope with having another miscarriage so H went to the doctor's today to enquire about a vasectomy only to be told "we're not ticking the right boxes" to be referred for the snip on the NHS.

If the NHS referred you what on earth did it take? And if you went private, what did it cost you and what was your referral pathway?

TIA

I'm sure dh self referred for his but we're in Scotland and the process might differ

My 39 year old partner has just had one. Referred through the docs no problem. We are not married. Have 2 children. It took 2 months from initial app with doc to actual procedure. I would go back and say you're not happy with that decision.

@Beachbabe1 honestly that's what I thought would be the outcome of his appointment today. But according to him the doctor was pushing conceptives for me rather than surgery for him. I'm so disappointed.

So with your partner was it literally our family is done and they referred?

Hi OP.

Sorry to hear you have been through all that heartache. Such difficult decisions for you both.

We are your age. DH had his vasectomy last year.

Our family GP was well on board. He wanted a telephone conversation with DH and I together (mostly to check we were on the same page I think. Also so we both knew what to expect). Then booked in DH for a minor op. (He does vasectomies himself on Wednesday afternoons).

Very straightforward. I think in your shoes I'd expect some information on what 'boxes' are required.

Good luck

I think dh just self referred.
Said we have had 2 children and finished our family. Hormonal contraception makes me (wife) miserable.
Booked and snipped!

Are you able to self refer. You should ask your GP what the boxes are

That's really interesting @MoiCnoi. Maybe it is a joint conversation that's required.

Not quite the same situation but following with interest. We have 2 under 2 and are completely done - hormonal contraception doesn't like me and I can't expect my body to give me another easy pregnancy (#2 was 10lb 8oz and I only laboured for 90 mins - we barely made it to hospital).

The issue is that we are young. DP is 28 and I think the GP would flat out refuse. Does anyone have any experience of getting it done young?

We have three children, DH is relatively young which I thought would be an issue. He just turned up to the gp and asked for one, he got one no problem. Baffling why they’d refuse you.

No one contacted me at any point to ask my opinion on it either. Could you see another GP?

@dottydally my DH is 29 and they didn’t bat an eyelid apart from asking if he was sure.

@AMistakePlusKeleven that's really helpful thank you!! If he had it done recently, was there much of a waiting list?

I had mine done recently on the NHS. Process for me was (during covid)

Self refer
Call with my GP asking whether I was sure, talking about contraception for my partner, letting me know it’s basically not reversible
General health check at my GP

Long wait

Met with the doctor who performs the op, more questions about if I was sure.
The procedure.

I think it took about 8 months in all. The bit at the beginning and end happened fairly quickly but there was a big gap in the middle.

My husband went at 28 and said we were happily married, had three children and our family was complete and was referred straight away. I don't know if my area is maybe quite easy to get referred as most of our friends and family members - cousin, brothers etc were all referred with no issues. Seems a postcode lottery which is pretty unfair.

@dottydally
Not really, it was within two months from the initial appointment I think. He’s just had the all clear through. It’s such a relief.

[quote AMistakePlusKeleven]@dottydally my DH is 29 and they didn’t bat an eyelid apart from asking if he was sure.[/quote]
My oh was 30 and was booked in, snipped and back to work within 6 weeks of self referring from his doctor

I'm quite surprised they wouldn't refer your husband. My DH had the snip early March last year and they hardly asked any questions. He went to his GP and told them he wanted a vasectomy. GP asked why and my husband explained that we don't want any more children and this was confirmed after we had a scare at Xmas time and we can't afford another child. GP mentioned that our situation may change or we may change our minds as we're relatively young (mid thirties), but DH said we'd thoroughly thought it through and it was what we wanted. GP said he'd refer my husband. DH then had phonecall from a clinic about 10 days later. They explained the procedure and asked if he still wanted it done. DH said yes and they booked him in there and then for 2 weeks time. The op was very quick, we were at the clinic less than 2 hours and I drove him home. He was in pain for a few days, but pretty much fully recovered within a week. He said it wasn't a bad experience and he recommends it to anyone who is sure that they don't want more children.

NHS waiting times can be very variable - we were told 6 months minimum, and when you then add on 3 months or so to test clear afterwards, that seemed far too long.

So DH went private (Marie Stopes) - I think it took about 3 weeks from first enquiry phone call to the procedure being done (the counselling being pretty straightforward for him, given age)

I'd definitely recommend Marie Stopes ahead of a GP doing it. Their doctors do several vasectomies most of their working days. Operator technique matters, so a full time specialist, or an NHS urologist are the safest hands

My husband asked the GP about this last week (we're based in Scotland). Apparently our area isn't taking any names for vasectomies at the moment!

I'm going to get him to try a different doctor I think.

DH had his done about a month ago. Had gp appointment, referral, pre op appointment and then appointment all within a month. He's 33. We have two children. I wasn't involved in his conversations regarding it beyond our conversation as a couple deciding it was right for us / our family is complete.

I'd want to know what boxes he / you supposedly aren't ticking.

Dh was referred after initial hesitation as he was 33 - you’re very young mr dragons, why are you asking for this? Dh replied “we have dd1 who is 4 and dtds who are 1 - 3 is enough children when we only planned to have 2 and our chances of triplets next time is high. We need that not to happen.” As soon as he mentioned twins the gp referred him

He needs to speak to a GP again make it clear he wants it done honestly im sick to death of doctors ignoring the fact that contraception doesn't suit every woman and done is DONE just enough already

My friend recently had the op, as part of a clinic at his doctors’ surgery. I don’t know how he got the referral.

The surgery was poorly done and glued rather than stitched and wound site became infected. Very difficult to get hold of surgeon and when he did he dismissed my friend’s concerns. He ended up on IV drip in A&E for severe infection and still recovering weeks later, facing permanent scarring.

If he chose again, he would have checked carefully about aftercare, stitch v glue and considered pay to go private as NHS is so threadbare there is nowhere to go when things go wrong.

Not trying to alarm you but giving a different perspective.

As with PP, DH asked the GP when our youngest child was about 6 months old, and was referred straight away. Had the op a few weeks later. The GP had treated me for hyperemisis during both pg and was very much aware of the “big picture”.

Good luck op x

That's super interesting everyone. Thank you so much for all your input. I was a bit surprised when he came home and said that they weren't happy to proceed as this was very much a joint decision. With hindsight I think it's the first time he's ever had to advocate for his reproductive health/contraceptive choice and it's taken him back a bit. He's had a read of all of your comments and we'll be going back next week.

@scaevola could I just ask how much MS cost and what their wait times were?

I just went to see the GP, and he referred me without any questions, or indeed speaking to my wife. That was 9 years ago, and I was over 40.

Please research PVPS. 1 in 10 men get it. I've had it 9 years since the snip. Had further invasive surgery a year later to address pain, it didn't, then two more surgical procedures (injections direct into my worse testicle). Didn't work.

Due to surgery, my testosterone dropped through the floor so I am on permanent replacement therapy.

It's a common issue. My Urologist said he sees many men with PVPS. There is no cure. The pain stops you sleeping properly.

Please research it first, it's still surgery and carries a fairly high (10%) issue with long term pain.