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Family planning

Does anyone not use contraception but doesn't want to get pregnant

37 replies

Pooshy · 13/05/2018 07:32

I've got two kids and don't want any more

I've recently come off the pill as I had zero libido which was starting to affect our relationship. It's coming back now which is a relief, but i don't want to lose it again. I'm considering the coil but concerned that could affect it too

Would it be crazy just to avoid having sex around my ovulation period? Having tracked my cycle when TTC I know it always falls on day 22 of a 32 cycle

I hate condoms so that's not an option

OP posts:
TheHodgeoftheHedge · 13/05/2018 07:36

Not unless you want to risk another pregnancy. Simple as that.

PotteringAlong · 13/05/2018 07:38

Yes, it would be crazy.

SoyDora · 13/05/2018 07:38

I’d only use this method if you wouldn’t mind another pregnancy.
I always ovulate on day 15. This month (which is the month I fell pregnant (planned!)) I ovulated on day 19/20. Things can change for no reason.
Copper coil? No hormones so shouldn’t affect libido.

Parentingissotough · 13/05/2018 07:38

Ha! I was doing this when I conceived my DS! Recently got married and thought we’d just work around my cycle. Two months later there was that second link line...probably best to use something if you really don’t want any more. Are condoms not an option?

Bringonspring · 13/05/2018 07:39

I could have written that post myself! I’m also fed up of the impact of hormone contraception (no libido like you)

My husband did mention the snip for him!! Which im pleased about. I feel I’ve put my body through a lot, two pregnancies/BF etc etc. Would your husband be open to that?

I think the abstain method is risky as TTC is when your sex drive is (in theory) at its highest. Let’s me honest with two children if you feel anything but tired when you get into bed you need to run with it!

Really interested in others thoughts!

Grandmaswagsbag · 13/05/2018 07:39

It worked for me for about 3 years...,then I ovulated late over Xmas period without realising with all the partying and visitors I just lost awareness of my body. Result I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant!! You can use this method very reliably BUT you must temp (i didn’t) !!
There is now an app that allows you to track, you Have to pay a bit for it but it sounds like it makes it easier than trying to track yourself. But I believe the temping method is as reliable as any other becasue you should know exactly when you are going to ovulate.

Icklepickle101 · 13/05/2018 07:41

I was doing this, then one month I had a slight cold and must have ovulated late because of it and am now 29 weeks pregnant.

DP is off for the snip next year!

Grandmaswagsbag · 13/05/2018 07:41

When we’re done with having kids my dh will definitely be getting the snip. The shit I’ve been through carrying and having babies, there is no way I’m spending the rest of my life on contraception that makes me feel shit too. His turn to shoulder some of the burden.

SoyDora · 13/05/2018 07:42

And don’t forget that sperm can live up to 7 days so you’d have to abstain for a decent period before and after ovulation too.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 13/05/2018 07:44

I’ve been doing this before we had kids, and conceived both kids on purpose first month of trying. No accidents. We want one more kid but the minute we’re done DH is going in for a vasectomy!

claraschu · 13/05/2018 07:44

Cervical cap+ extra care around ovulation. Worked perfectly for me-

BossWitch · 13/05/2018 07:52

Congratulations! - that is for the almost inevitable pregnancy that will result from relying on tracking.

Sorry to be flippant OP. I also have zero libido when on the pill, and have sworn off hormonal contraception for good. We used condoms for a bit, then were ttc, now pregnant. After this one, we would like to go for number 3, so will just do nothing regarding contraception and see what happens. Then we've agreed it's dh for the snip. Both of our thinking is that I have borne the brunt of the responsibility and all of the side effects for ten years, now it's his turn. Neither of us wants to use condoms forever, so vasectomy it is. Any chance of your dh seeing it the same way?

Pooshy · 13/05/2018 08:07

I think I'll get the sticks you pee on to accurately track it, but I can tell from my body when I'm ov anyway so seems pretty reliable?!

The copper coil isn't v appealing as it gives you long and heavy periods

OP posts:
seven201 · 13/05/2018 08:16

The stick things can be misleading too. Last cycle I got a positive on ovulation stick and then 5 days later got another positive. Your body can gear up to ovulate then for some reason doesn't, so you can occasionally ovulate later. It's all very risky and you need to be fine to accept the consequences - a baby or an abortion.

greeneggblueegg · 13/05/2018 08:18


TammySwansonTwo · 13/05/2018 08:21

The problem is that by the time you’re ovulating it’s too late, because you may have had sex in the previous seven days and there could be existing sperm still alive and hanging around.

Why can’t your partner use condoms, or get a vasectomy? Why is the only option for us as women to suffer hideous side effects and simply accept them?

I’ve come off the pill for the same reason, but it’s still not back yet. I can’t get the copper coil as my periods are already horrific. Mirena was a disaster, as was depo. A diaphragm or condoms are my only options at this stage.

Frosty66612 · 13/05/2018 08:22

Don’t do it! I did this last year and my cycles have always been like clockwork and I could tell when I was ovulating mid-cycle as i’d get cramps on my side and lots of egg white discharge etc. Not having sex around that time worked for us for about 9 months and then I must have ovulated late randomly one month (even though i’d had the cramps and egg white discharge at the same time as usual so didn’t think anything was different). Fell pregnant and had to get a termination. I went straight back on the pill and I will never be so careless again about something so important

Frosty66612 · 13/05/2018 08:24

Also my niece was conceived by the pull out method so that’s not always foolproof either as a man can’t always control cumming a tiny bit during sex

nuttyknitter · 13/05/2018 08:56

Why not give the coil a try? I used them for years and had no problems at all.

WeAreEternal · 13/05/2018 09:07

I refuse to use hormonal contraceptives, hate conforms and refuse to try the coil,
But we definitely do not want any more DC’s.

I have a diaphragm and absolutely swear by it.
It take a bit of getting used to but it’s easy and you can’t even feel it and I recommend it to everyone.

theconstantinoplegardener · 13/05/2018 09:36

Have you considered a diaphragm? You just slip it in when you're getting ready for bed and remove it when you get up the next morning (or at least six hours after having sex). There are no hormones to mess up your system, although you do need to use a spermicidal gel when inserting the diaphragm. You could ask at your local family planning clinic to see if they will supply and fit one, or alternatively you can order the one-size-fits-all Caya diaphragm from Amazon.

Pooshy · 13/05/2018 10:11

Hmm I hadn't even considered a diaphragm! Will look it up now

OP posts:
claraschu · 13/05/2018 13:05

Also look at the cervical cap- similar, but many people prefer them.

SeamusMacDubh · 13/05/2018 13:25

The copper coil isn't v appealing as it gives you long and heavy periods

Not necessarily, everyone is different. That statement is like saying the pill makes everyone fat, it affects some people like that but not all.

I think if you choose no barrier or chemical contraceptives you'll have to accept that pregnancy is still a possibility.

RosieWoodChelt · 13/05/2018 17:40

I am in similar position to OP. I am 43 and have children. The pill didn't suit me and the coil wasn't for me. Condoms are a no-no as I simply don't enjoy. DH and I decided on withdrawal method. He has been fantastic in sticking to what we agreed and you might find your partner will be equally positive. Helping him get there after he has withdrawn is a fun part of the whole experience. Message anytime if want.

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