Mirena & Depression - Five Fucking years of my life!! AIBU to have the rage?

[BeMorePanda]

I've been depressed for 5 years now. I've had depression in the past and have learned how to manage it very well, I know what signs to look out for and how to look after myself etc. Or so I thought.

Then shortly after DD2 was born I became fairly depressed. Not PND, more a general depression. And it became worse once I stopped BF. This was also around the time I left my abusive XP. So I attributed the depression to be living with an abusive arse (and suffering from gas lighting, very abuse, emotional abuse and a bit of financial abuse for good measure for several years).

I did have a wee surge of happiness after leaving him, but generally the depression continued. It was different than I had suffered before - more of a flat line depression.

My self esteem was rock bottom. None of my usual coping/self care tactics worked. I've been feeling so damaged. I've had 2 lots of counselling - nothing has really helped or got to the bottom of it.

Before having DD2 I was in a very happy place in myself, despite my rubbish relationship and difficult pregnancy. It now occurs to me that the only times in my adult life that I haven't been using hormonal contraception, coincided with me feeling normal, myself, happy, in charge of my life and not depressed.

Just last week I had a penny drop moment after reading about the Mirena coil & it's link to depression. And I realised I started feeling this way shortly after having it inserted after DD2 was born. I didn't notice the connection - at first I was BF and had all those happy hormones, I believed the doctor who talked of "localised hormones" etc, my relationship was rubbish and home life difficult and it simply never occurred to me that my "wonderful contraception solution" was actually an evil fucker, messing with me from the inside.

I thought I was one of the people who had got along with it - I loved having no periods, no hormonal fluctuations etc. I thought I had no side effects.

So I've been doing some reading around and I'm pretty sure that the Mirena is contributing to or even causing my unliftable low level constant depression.

It's been like living with a rock around my neck for all my daughters life. What a fucker.

And I just had a new one put in a couple of months ago. I'm making an appt to get it removed asap. Not once at any stage of the process of having TWO Mirena coils fitted did any one mention depression. When I talked to my GP about my ongoing depression Mirena was not mentioned or questioned.

I have read many threads where women have had acute reactions with the Mirena.

But AIBU to think I am not alone in this and there are many other women with similar revelations after a period of time being otherwise happy with the Mirena???

AIBU to think there is no joined up thinking in healthcare?

This is my first post but I've been a lurker on the site for a couple of years.

I came off Yasmin last April after being taking it for 5 years. I'd previously been on Cilest for about 8 years before that but changed to Yasmin as it doesn't have artificial food colours in the tablets (pharmaceuticals are a nightmare for that, but that's another topic!). I read the Telegraph Article posted further up and liked the idea of the fertility tracking app it mentioned (Natural Cycles - www.naturalcycles.com ) and thought it was worth a go as one of the reasons I liked being on oral contraceptives was that I knew where I was in my cycle and this would let me do that. I have a noticeably better mood now and my anxiety is much better. My libido has returned (it was pretty much non-existent on Yasmin). We've been using it in combination with condoms while my cycles settle back down and I feel confident about trusting the app about non-fertile days but that's probably me being over-cautious. As others have said, we're only actually fertile for a small window every month (heck, look at all the threads on the conception board!).

I know some people might think it's expensive (my subscription is £60 for the year, plus condoms, plus OPKs) but I think £5 per month is worth it not to be on the pill (and I was getting that for free for years).

Oh, and thumbs up for Mooncups - I've been using them for 8 years, and they're great!

This has been such a helpful thread, thank you OP and also thank you to all the posters who have shared their experiences. I'd been considering getting a Mirena after DD is born, but hormonal contraception tends to make me a bit erratic and depressed (as does pregnancy!) so I think a LARC now sounds like a baaaaad idea.

As an aside, a couple of people have said that their GPs told them the hormones with Mirena are localised. That's impossible surely - the synthetic progesterone shows up in blood plasma tests?

carmenta I think GPs make the mistake of thinking that just because the progesterone in the Mirena is released locally, then it must stay localised. Whereas, quite clearly it damned well doesn't.

re the "localised hormones" I think this is the sales pitch the GP's are given by the manufacturers and pass on. The GP's don't seem to stop and apply their scientific thinking to it.

Weathergirl lovely first MN post :)

I was off work today with a sick DD2 and enjoyed having a lazy day myself. Been feeling extremely tired.

After a mega tired slump on Friday I just had the most amazing weekend

I had my period, which I am logging on the Clue ap (great invention) and I started using a mooncup for the first time - no issues there, amazing & I love it!

My children were with their Dad - usually on these weekends I find it hard to get up & I lie in both days until at least 11. I'm low energy and unless I have things planned with friends I just kind of mooch around, lots of Netflix, ignoring anything I thought I might want to do, and feeling very depressed and low and mentally beating myself up this whole time. I have been like this for most of the last 5 years.

This weekend I felt "back to normal". It was amazing. I didn't have any plans in advance of the weekend so I was just left to my own devices. I got up about 9 after a lovely lie in, didn't watch any TV apart from SCD. I did some jobs around the house, I went shopping @ IKEA with a friend, I made DD a Halloween costume, I went for a walk in the park, I felt great and balanced the entire time, I didn't feel depressed, I felt "normal". Most of all my internal soundtrack of the last 5 years of "you are a rubbish depressed shit loser" was just gone - poof!

It does feel pretty magical actually. I small quite revolution into "normality".

I'm eating really well too - lots of progesterone boosting foods. And Dime bars (well I did go to IKEA).

Got an eye out for "the crash" but feeling wonderful, feeling like a return to me for the first time in many many years.

Great to see you had a good weekend! I hope you continue on the upswing...but don't feel you can't post if you don't. We are here for you which ever way it goes!

BeMorePanda glad you feel so much better and had a great weekend.

May I ask what foods you eat please?

Omg, omg, that shopping list of progesterone boosting foods is basically (if you add smoked salmon) the same as my list of foods I crave when I have pmt. Had no idea that was the reason!

I am another one who wouldn't touch hormonal contraception with a bargepole after I reacted badly to the pill 25 years ago. I went from severe but predictable pmt to sudden mood swings which were so severe I tried to kill myself.
One I particularly remember was coming out of the college library all happy because I had done my essay reading. By the I got to my room on the other side of the quad I wanted to die.
I only put two and two together about the cause years later. Luckily I split up with my boyfriend after the suicide attempt so came off the pill.

It makes me so angry that hormonal contraception is still pushed at women without warning of the risks of psychological side effects or properly monitoring them.

Adore my diet has changed a lot recently as I have been suffering from really bad & steadily worsening IBS. So I'm largely on a Low-FODMAP diet (google that - it's very good for IBS but quite limiting)

However, I am now also suspecting that my IBS may be connected to the Mirena too - so will see how that pans out.

I make a loaf of this bread every week and eat it with different toppings for lunch: pesto & tomato, goat cheese & rocket or watercress etc.
www.mynewroots.org/site/2013/02/the-life-changing-loaf-of-bread/

I will eat this bread forever now - it is super simple to make and freaking awesome.

I googled progesterone boosting foods and have been eating as many of those that I can (Low FODMAP diet permitting);

Basically anything dark green
Quinoa
citrus
Pumpkin seeds, almonds, walnuts
Mandarins
Lemons
Kale
Dark chocolate.
Steak (though I'm happy to "eat vegetarian" most days, I like a rare steak)
Spinach

I had meatballs at IKEA too - I'm no purist.

I made a vegetable & quinoa soup on the weekend & a kale and sweet potato soup has been made and in in the fridge ready to be eaten when needed - with a slice or 2 of the Life Changing Loaf.

Countess that's really interesting - your body knows best ! :)

Ice thanks - I'll be here up or down.
It's my diary/evidence/documentation & a great source of support.

In the Loaf I substitute pumpkin seeds for most or all of the sunflower seeds, I usually leave out the sweetener and I use olive oil instead of coconut oil/ghee as that is what I have.

The most essential bit is the soaking for at least a few hours, and you do get the best results using a silicone loaf - I started out using a lined tin and things do stick lots more. Now I mix, rest and cook all in the silicone loaf pan.

www.foodmatters.com/recipe/no-noodle-thai-salad
I'm having this for lunch - I had it for dinner last night and I made one up for my lunch at the same time.

BeMorePanda.

Please come and cook for me 🙏🏼

I'm desperate to stop pmt starting up again now I'm off my pill.

I'm currently taking magnesium supplements every eve plus chromium with cinnamon to stop sugar cravings.

Ha I am the world's laziest cook! :)

It has been something I have really lost my mojo over these last few years. Maybe it will come back now?

If you like nutty chewy healthy things do try the Lifechanging Loaf - there is absolutely no skill beyond measuring required to make it, it does me at least a week of lunches and is freaking awesome.

A very good nutritional therapist I knew many years ago used to advise women to eat brown rice, brown rice, brown rice (preferably brown basmati rice) the week before period was due - to stabilise blood sugar and cravings.

I've added "brown rice" as one of the options on Clue.

Sorry I posted early on the thread under a different name and haven't read all the responses but I'm wondering if any of you lovely lot could help me. Not sure if anyone has covered this already.

I stopped taking the pill 3 years ago after it made me massively depressed and anxious. I was on it for about 5 years but didn't realise this was the cause at the time. I am now back to normal and very happy but my libido is just dead. It's been like this since I started on the pill. I thought it would come back after I stopped taking it, but nothing at all. I am only mid-twenties with a DP I love very much and it's making me so sad that I don't want to be intimate with him. Before the pill we were shagging every day Now it's probably once a month and I have to force myself to do it. Once I get in to it I really enjoy it though! It's really affecting our relationship.

I've been reading about testosterone levels etc and I'm sure this might be what the problem is. Does anyone have any advice about it as I'm desperate. DP suggested seeing the GP but I feel like a massive tit going to the doctors about it.

BeMorePanda thank you, I will check that recipe, can't open on phone. My diet needs tweaking, far too much stress over the past 3 years means I have severly fallen off the healthy wagon.

RedHouses sorry I don't have any advice for you rstoring your libido but I wanted to say please don't feel like a massive tit talking to your doctor about this. Make an appointment, get yourself down there, take a deep breath and talk to them. It's important to you and your life. xx

the healthy wagon can take considerable effort to get back on.

But I do think it has a positive impact on our bodies/mind/lives if we can manage it. It has been one of the things that has been really hard for me but for which I am hoping to find a renewed interest, energy and vigor.

The LowFODMAP IBS diet was a real shock - as it is very easy not to be very healthy at all on it and I really miss eating lentils/beans etc which I can't eat for now. But it had rapid results and works if I stick to it.

gotta find what works! Lucky for me I do like greens. It's just having the energy and the self nurturing to prepare good food. If I do go to the effort to prepare food I always try and make lunch as well.

Redhouses
Don't say that. I'm really wanting mine to come back.
How long ago did you stop taking the pill?
Itsbeen 3 weeks now for me.

Thanks Panda. I think I've just got to bite the bullet and go and see someone. Hopefully I can get a female GP!

Cold it was before I got pregnant with DD and she's almost 3 now I'm sure I'm just a very rare case though!!

I had all the healthy food tonight.
All. Of. It.
Overeaten.
Feeling stuffed and not great!

Sooner the better Red. You've lost enough time.

So pleased you had a fantastic weekend bemore and long may it continue. Please keep us posted.

countess the hormonal mood swings are evil, aren't they? I never suffered with them until I went into the peri Menopause. I could go from feeling calm and optimistic...to feeling full of despair in the time it took to drink a cup of tea. No wonder so many women are misdiagnosed with bi polar.