Mirena & Depression - Five Fucking years of my life!! AIBU to have the rage?

[BeMorePanda]

I've been depressed for 5 years now. I've had depression in the past and have learned how to manage it very well, I know what signs to look out for and how to look after myself etc. Or so I thought.

Then shortly after DD2 was born I became fairly depressed. Not PND, more a general depression. And it became worse once I stopped BF. This was also around the time I left my abusive XP. So I attributed the depression to be living with an abusive arse (and suffering from gas lighting, very abuse, emotional abuse and a bit of financial abuse for good measure for several years).

I did have a wee surge of happiness after leaving him, but generally the depression continued. It was different than I had suffered before - more of a flat line depression.

My self esteem was rock bottom. None of my usual coping/self care tactics worked. I've been feeling so damaged. I've had 2 lots of counselling - nothing has really helped or got to the bottom of it.

Before having DD2 I was in a very happy place in myself, despite my rubbish relationship and difficult pregnancy. It now occurs to me that the only times in my adult life that I haven't been using hormonal contraception, coincided with me feeling normal, myself, happy, in charge of my life and not depressed.

Just last week I had a penny drop moment after reading about the Mirena coil & it's link to depression. And I realised I started feeling this way shortly after having it inserted after DD2 was born. I didn't notice the connection - at first I was BF and had all those happy hormones, I believed the doctor who talked of "localised hormones" etc, my relationship was rubbish and home life difficult and it simply never occurred to me that my "wonderful contraception solution" was actually an evil fucker, messing with me from the inside.

I thought I was one of the people who had got along with it - I loved having no periods, no hormonal fluctuations etc. I thought I had no side effects.

So I've been doing some reading around and I'm pretty sure that the Mirena is contributing to or even causing my unliftable low level constant depression.

It's been like living with a rock around my neck for all my daughters life. What a fucker.

And I just had a new one put in a couple of months ago. I'm making an appt to get it removed asap. Not once at any stage of the process of having TWO Mirena coils fitted did any one mention depression. When I talked to my GP about my ongoing depression Mirena was not mentioned or questioned.

I have read many threads where women have had acute reactions with the Mirena.

But AIBU to think I am not alone in this and there are many other women with similar revelations after a period of time being otherwise happy with the Mirena???

AIBU to think there is no joined up thinking in healthcare?

Yes, and terrifying if you don't know what's going on.
I think if it's all properly explained and you can put them into some context (or the people around you can, if you're not yourself in a sufficiently rational state to do so) it's more possible to deal with, which is why the failure to provide women with proper information is so inexcusable.

pumpkin seeds and mandarins for breakfast - both progesterone supporting.

I thought progesterone was the one that makes us feel down though? Or is it only the synthetic one that's bad?

countess yes it can be frightening. And the lack of knowledge of some GPs makes it worse. I was categorically told by two GPs that my mood swings couldn't be hormonal. It was only when my consultant assured me mood swings were definitely hormonal, that I realised I wasn't losing my marbles.

age if you are intolerant to your own progesterone (so you get bad PMS or PND) then it's very likely you will struggle with synthetic progesterone, too.

as I've come off the Mirena the theory is that my body will have stopped producing progesterone effectively (as it was used to getting dosed by the synthetic version) - this can lead to a massive "crash" in mood/feelings/depression after coming of the Mirena.

So I'm eating lots of foods that support the body's progesterone manufacturing process to help it along.

I think it's it the drop in progesterone after ovulation that brings on PMT.

I'm still learning all about this. Moving forward as I am peri-menopausal age, I need to support and balance all my hormones I guess.

Thanks MaQueen and Panda

Does anyone have any idea when I might get a period.

It's been 3 weeks since I took my last cillest mini pill and there is no sign of it.

Normal PMS is caused by the rise in progesterone after ovulation. Oestrogen dips sharply just after ovulation, then rises again (though not as high as prior to ovulation).

Then just before your period starts both oestrogen and progesterone drop like a stone, and it's the withdrawal of progesterone which causes the bleed.

Both oestrogen and progesterone stay very low during the first few days of your period, then oestrogen starts to rise as your period ends (progesterone stays low) and most women feel at their best in the 10-12 days until ovulation.

I really wish someone had explained all this to me years ago. It would have helped so much.

I hate no, I'm sorry I don't know when you will get your period. I do know my friend didn't get a period for a few months after stopping the mini pill.

Thanks MaQueen.

How are you doing now Panda?

I'm doing great thanks Weather.
There has been no dramatic reaction - but then I didn't have a dramatic reaction when it went in so I guess it makes sense.

But there has been a return to "Normal".
I've had a very normal period for the first time in over 6 years.
My sex drive has returned the last few days with a VOOM! Not sure what I will do with that :) I guess it is an indication I am ovulating - if so this along with a normal period indicates that I may be back to my old cycle fairly quickly and without too much drama. I'm using the CLUE ap which I really like.

I do feel much less depressed. I've had some days of utter out of the blue tiredness that have come like a BAMM! But I've not yet encountered any Crash beyond the tiredness.

I wouldn't say I am totally not depressed - but I do feel a return to myself, to normality, to emotional ups and downs rather than a flat line of "down down down down". This weekend will be a test as I have 2 childfree days so lets see how I cope with those - the last few years childfree weekends have been a massive challenge for me.

I've gone completely off wine - not that I was drinking much before, but wine has absolutely no appeal at all ATM. Which is odd as I've always liked it very much. I've developed a liking for tequila though so that all balances out :)

Overall I am feeling much much happier in myself - but there is an element of having to learn all over what to do with myself and my time when it is not fully occupied with parenting and/or depression - does that make sense?

Just wondering how it's going, Panda

I would just like to share with you my experience with it. I had my DD 4 1/2 years ago, after I had had her I was basically bullied into having the coil fitted, I did, it was agony, I hated it but they wouldn't take it out, I then started having mild feelings of depression but because I was a new mum I basically sut it all down to sleep deprivation - I had also had an emergency c section as she was prem & breech - the depression carried on, I went back to work and was struggling, went to the gp who told me I had PND, never quite accepted it but took the tablets (stupidly), the following year my mum was diagnosed with cancer, we were all devastated, back to the gp who changed my tablets, weight went up, sex drive was zero, I was struggling to cope, couldn't lose weight, skin was dreadful, aches and pains, headaches, never a day when I felt ok, got to the point last year where I did seriously wonder about myself & considered leaving my family. Then started researching bith citalopram and the mirena coil, was bloody horrified at what I read, went to my GP and demanded (I mean demanded) to be sterilised and have the coil out, the op was last month, before the op the gp also told me to carry on with the citalopram because 'stopping before the op isn't a good idea' so I slowly weaned myself off them, last tablet was the week before my op, within 2 weeks of the op I had lost half a stone, skin is amazing, I suddenly feel alive again, all I want to do is have a sex life with dh, my mood swings have all but disappeared. If anyone ever asks me about it it was probably the worst 4 years I have had and it should have been the best - I feel well & truly robbed of my dd's first few years. If there was something I could do about it or something I could prove I wouldn't hesitate in complaining to both the gp and the maker - incidentally the gp (male) told me that everything that was wrong with me was nothing to do with the coil or the medication & all to do with my weight!

Hi all - just checking back in to say it's been over three months since I had my coil removed.

I had no "Mirena Crash" and my cycle has started up again and back into full swing, just like it used to be before I had children.

My low grade constant depression that was frankly ruining my life for the last 5 years (all my youngests life) has dissolved - gone.

I'm relearning what it is to be me. I've always thought I was a "Depressed person" and now at the grand age of 49 I can see I'm not a depressed person at all. It was always the hormone contraception. Initially I was very angry about this, but I've let that anger pass and go now. Now I am more curious and excited about the adventure of the rest of my life.

Interesting knock on effects - I've become almost completely sober. After self medicating with a joint in the evening, and to a lesser extent alcohol, I am now pretty much stopped both. I didn't plan to - but my desire and need for both just dissolved overnight Poof! gone! Crutches of a lifetime just gone, without any effort at all on my part. It feels miraculous.

The thought of going to a social event and not drinking was unfathomable to me - now I feel perfectly relaxed, confident and sane and feel like I can go anywhere and do anything without anxiety, without need for any "social lubricant". It's quite incredible.

I met up with some friends over the weekend and had 2 small glasses of wine - first drink of the year.. It left me completely cold, made me incredibly tired and I can't imagine when I will feel like doing again.

My child free weekends are busy and full. I am watching 90% less TV that I have for years.

I'm loving my mooncup - wish I had discovered those years ago!

I'd like to re-establish a yoga practice - but haven't progressed with that yet. I sued to think I was at my happiest when I was eating healthy and practicing yoga. Now I can see that those times were fairly rare moments in my life when i wasn't on hormonal contraceptives. It wasn't so much that the yoga/healthy eating were making me happy, but I was happy and able to eat healthy/practice yoga because I wasn't depressed/on hormonal contraceptives. When on the contraception I just had a constant negative voice I could not shake off telling me how rubbish a person I was, a failure who couldn't even eat healthy and exercise.

zofranks how are you doing now?

How is everyone else getting on?

Aw Panda, that's great to hear! You really should write your story down somewhere so it can be shared with others - there must be women out the who are suffering the same as you were who have no idea it might be their contraception.

Just want to say a big thank you to BeMorePanda and everyone who contributed to this thread. It's just what I need to read right now. I have made loads of notes and printed off a fair few articles and recipes

Would be interested to know how you got on BeMorePanda.

Fantastically well thanks. Normality has been returned to my life - I'm 18 months post Mirena removal now. I've sold my flat, moved to a new town, started a whole new life after years of what I can only describe as apathy and paralysis.

Looking back now it was like I was functioning in a big fog for many years. I couldn't identify it, or see it, but it had a pervasive and very negative impact on me.

I'm very very glad to have been liberated.

It really wasn’t that long after I had my Mirena inserted in 2014 that I returned to the GP with a whole host of crazy symptoms. I told her I thought it was due to the coil and that I wanted it removed. It wasn’t long after that that a blood test showed my thyroid was out of whack post pregnancy.

Thyroid sorted as of about early 2016 and I’ve never felt ‘better’. I had my Mirena removed on Monday (3 days ago now) and I’m really hoping some of this low mood and anxiety finally lifts for me. I too have been through lots of counselling and nothing seems to touch it despite my constant practicing.

It will be interesting to see what happens to both of us without birth control.

What I’m really annoyed at is that Doctors really don’t seem to give any merit to these symptoms being associated with it, why is that? Also, effects of insertion and removal have been very unclear for me, causing me more anxiety.

Even worse that some poor women have had it perforate their uterus or become lost inside their bodies etc. If they weighed up all the feedback I wonder if there would be more positive or negative?

I really truly hope you feel better post removal.

Good luck - I hope thing improve very soon!

BeMorePanda, sorry I commented before reading until the end of the thread! That’s so amazing that you feel much better, really happy for you.

I don’t know how or when enough women will come forward to doctors with their Mirena nightmares but I guess we’ll just watch this space.

TheClitterati I wasn’t sure if you were replying to me but if so, thank you very much!

I've suffered from 2 bouts of depression in my life.....both of them after having had a contraceptive implant. The first in my early 20s and the second after having my DD a few years ago. I do think that there is a link btw progesterone only contraception and mental health, well certainly in my case anyway

i had it for 18months after my baby was born. whilst breastfeeding i was fine, after that reduced though i went mental. i had real rage swings and honestly i was crazy. only after one 'breaksdown' when i found myself sitting on my daughters bed sobbing about what a terrible mother i was did i wonder if it was due to the coil. had it out. went back to normal immediatly. havnt had a rage outburst since - been on the mini pill for 8months now. my firend recently totla me she got exactly the same symptoms