So dd1 (8) is apparently one of the few children to fail grade 1 piano -(probably due to nerves)-How to deal with this and her future piano playing? aibu to tell her that she passed?

[Pollyanna]

Her teacher is gobsmacked as she is very competent, and thinks it is all down to nerves. She nearly passed every section apart from the oral part which she flunked. She has told me that she is terrified of singing in front of other people.

I don't want her to feel really disheartened and give up as she really enjoys playing, and I think that it would be a huge blow to her confidence if she found out she failed. (as a separate issue her brother, who we were more worried about failing, also took the exam at the same time as her and passed!).

also any tips to help her with her nerves in the future would be useful. I know there is the option of her not taking any more grades exams, although she does like the idea of doing the grades.

They don't assess your singing per se but they test aural skills by playing a melody and getting you to repeat it or playing a two part harmony and you have to sing the higher or lower part back. Or they play a note and ask you sing a 3rd above.

I'm wondering whether another exam board does things slightly differently, Trinity Guildhall have several options from what I gather including a viva on musical knowledge.

so glad Pollyanna - much better than lying to her and now she doesn't have to do any more until she thinks she can handle them.

Tinker - you have to sing back things that the teacher plays for you to demonstrate good aural skills, and sing single notes in a 3 note chord so that you demonstrate you can hear them individually. It's to show all round musicality (if that is a real word)

Ah, thank you.

my dd is in (I think) a very good girls' choir. Her voice isn't anything great I don't think but thankfully she was musical enough to get in and they are getting a great training as far as I can judge.

Big thing is although they do concerts and so have to rehearse a fair bit and perform in a group there is not the same pressure. There is something quite intimidating about singing out loud in front of a stranger, isn't there?

Is there a nice choir your dd could look at joining some time? My dd said the other week that it is funny how an hour goes by so much faster when you sing and it feels like it is gone in a minute. She does seem to enjoy it - also the singing scales and the theory because their choir instructor is just lovely. Maybe once the singing part no longer bothers her, your dd would get a feeling of accomplishment out of those exams?

I just think my dd's teacher can judge whether she is progressing as well as an examiner IYSWIM so I am not at the moment planning on her doing any of those. I think she would just view them as stressful tbh

Pollyanna - good to get an update from you. It must have been a difficult conversation but sounds like you dealt with it v well

Well done Pollyanna. Glad she took it well.

thanks all. She has just had her piano lesson too - her teacher spoke to her as well (she is obviously feeling gutted, and guilty) and said it went very well. dd is relieved not to have to do exams.

now just have to wait for the tap exam result...

I'm glad she feels happier.

If you think it would be a good thing to try exams later on, could you give her some chances to play publicly first to get over nerves? One of the joys of making music is making it with and for other people so being prepared to perform in front of anybody is an advantage, not just for exams.

she is playing in a children's festival in a few weeks actually - her idea - all of the teacher's pupils are, and is feeling fairly confident about this (it isn't a competition).

I do think that it would be a good idea for her to do exams at some stage, as I agree it is good to perform in front of other people, and be prepared to take feedback. And also my experience is that the more you "perform" in public, the easier it becomes. Having said that I think that it doesn't matter at 8. Her competitiveness with ds1 will probably mean that she will take exams again - he wants to do grade 2 as soon as possible!

Glad she took it so well. Now the challenge will be keeping her doing the scales when she doesn't have the exam (I know I used any excuse no to practice them, but they really do help).

Fingers crossed for the tap

btw - music exams aren't that important in and of themselves, but they can look good on your CV and they can make it easier to join more advanced groups - the usual trigger to audition for the County Youth Orchestra was passing Grade 5, and if you pass grade 8 with distinction you're invited to audition for the National Youth Orchestra (even on the piano). I'm sure there are ways in without the piece of paper, but I'm guessing the auditions would be a lot more rigorous.