Spring / Summer 2026 music thread

[northerngoldilocks]

Time for a new thread as the old one is filling up and think we can claim its spring now!

Come and talk about music lessons, choosing instruments, exams, auditions, specialist schools, orchestras or whatever other music activities are going on. Everyone is welcome, from those with total beginners to those whose children are studying music at advanced levels. Ask for advice or share successes or struggles.

I forgot we could see that! Three here too.

@678socks NCO have done a quality check on the links just to make sure they’re working ok - we had an email to say ours wasn’t working (even though it was, as we’ve sent it to about 15 family members, teacher etc 🤣) and then when I re-sent it they acknowledged the email v quickly and said it was all fine. I don’t think that means they’ve actually made their decision - am sure it takes them a lot longer to work through them all properly. Seems like results are communicated mid-end October so there’s a long time to wait.

Yes, I saw they had done one almost straight away and heard nothing so I assumed ok and we have since had two more views. I would imagine tutors have more time to review stuff in the holidays than in termtime. As you say, long old time to wait.

Think it will differ by instrument and age group depending on who is reviewing each group for NCO. Only 1 view here so that will be just checking they can see it

I'm assuming some of you understand the cognitive whiplash of advocating for a musical kid who has other issues that are not advantages in school or life generally.

We're on holiday for a few days listening to a well-known Sierra Leonean/Antiguan/Nottinghaman cellist and a well-known in the organ world organist; DS9 is having lots of cello lessons in between with his teacher who's normally on Zoom; played for the organist; met various other organists who say they've heard about him from his teacher, etc. Praise is heaped on him from all sides and he's radiating happiness and achieving loads.

Concurrently at nearly finished UK Year 5, with a multi-page school report from his UK correspondence school stating subject averages of 98%-100% since year 2, as well as a music CV running to 3 pages, and 4 references all saying things like academically and musically gifted, responsible and mature, professionalism far beyond his years in music, genuinely intellectually curious, unfailingly polite, lovely helpful child he's just failed to get into our town's only private school, largely because the head of the junior school hates autistic and ADHD kids and will tell that to anyone who's willing to listen. Catholic school priest interview includes a sneering "we have no interest in enrolling children like your son, so I don't know why you're here". Our local state school's head rolls his eyes and says things like "you know as well as I do how well this is going to go" and "we will expel your son if he acts up in class or underperforms academically" when I enquire about places. Next local state school is the one that was discussing expulsion when I pulled him out age 6, unable to cope with a classroom where kids were throwing chairs. Next local one says "We haven't any places for children like your son". Etc.

You can't complain about this stuff in most of real life because people think it's a stealth boast about the music. It's a weird sort of whiplash, seemingly set to continue while we're stuck living where we do (no music-focused schools...).

Bloody formatting. Those were supposed to be em dashes, not strikethrough formatting.

I think it’s a common issue for these twice exceptional children. The primary school tried to expel my oldest child; he went on to get the highest SATs results the school has ever had even though they only ever treated him as an inconvenience.

Gah @StuntNun I hear you!

Sounds really tricky, do you have any options for moving? Is continuing to home educate an option? I hope you find a suitable solution.

Tried very, very hard to convince DH to move back to the UK earlier in the year. Choir schools were toured, successful auditions were done... but DS didn't want to board, and we couldn't afford to split up with DH working here and me moving to the UK, and DS didn't want to be in a different country from DH for years on end. DH's job isn't easily transferrable...

I’m no expert @DitheringMusicParent but based on what you were saying about your DS and residentials, sounds like a boarding choir school could have been really quite difficult anyway. The impression I have is that the kids have to be more independent/mature than would be usual for their age, which is partly why we wouldn’t have done it for DS.

We know a couple of people who have gone to conservatoire at 16 (as opposed to 18) after being home schooled, so perhaps that is something to think about for the future?

@DitheringMusicParent - you have my sympathy - DD was basically a one trick pony and not prepared to compromise on her music practice. She was a totally square peg in her day school and at times it nearly broke her. Going to specialist boarding made her life so much easier so bear those schools in mind for the future as he may change his mind. Can you continue to home ed for now?

As far as I can see choristers' life in boarding is quite structured, almost regimented, which can be beneficial for an autistic person as predictable routine is usually very important BUT not every school offers single rooms and it may be v very hard for someone with ASD to cope with a constant presence of strangers and a total lack of privacy. Many of them do cope, obviously, but it may vary a great deal individually.

Also, as far as I can see though my observations are by no means exhaustive, boarders with ASD are usually very high functioning/low needs. Severe ADHD presents more challenges at school in general tbh.

@Compsearch you're totally right about boarding being unworkable. Boarding was considered because we really couldn't afford to have me in the UK with DS, and DH here, but having got into a couple of non-boarding choirs and a couple of boarding choirs which looked like absolute musical Hogwarts, DS decided he couldn't do any of them because he wanted us all to live together. Which is reasonable and shows more self-insight than I was expecting.

Conservatoire at 16 might work, if by then we can afford for me to move to the UK (or more likely Europe) with DS, and DH either comes too or stays here. It's possible we will be in a better financial position by then. However, he'll need to have done A-levels by whenever he wants to be going off to do music somewhere, so it depends at what age he's mature enough to pass IGCSEs and A-levels. At the moment he could probably pass the core Maths but not the extended, and all of the English bar getting the writing done quickly enough. But is at Year 5 level for everything else, and he can't do music as a subject here, so he probably won't be doing A-levels early...

@Londonmummy66 I'll keep that in mind. Yes, DS9 is definitely a one trick pony at the moment! But he's been looking at the social media posts of a certain organ residential course that's been on in the past week and has been talking about "When I go to that course I'll need to..." and actually helping with putting washing on and helping prepare meals and making sure we're on time for things (!!!!!) - nothing like a bit of motivation!

@Ubertomusic yes - the disdain and disgust coming from teachers/ priests/ etc is all about the autism, which has to be disclosed here. Autism would probably lead to burnout in a chorister boarding house where they're required to be busy 12 hours a day 6-7 days a week. But the ADHD is a far bigger issue generally. DS9 isn't hyper, isn't disruptive (he was at age 5-6, but so was everyone else), but definitely struggles with executive function quite a bit. This was why we were looking at non-boarding choirs, but in the end we couldn't make it work.

@DitheringMusicParent he sounds like he’s got his head screwed on. I think conservatoires are pretty flexible on admissions requirements in terms of academics, and none of them are limited to A levels - there are loads of international students with qualifications from their home country (not sure where you are). My DH teaches at one and has hardly any home students (so hardly any with A levels). Many of them have quite a poor level of English! Your DS will develop so much academically between now and then.

One of the people I know who went to conservatoire at 16 (admittedly she is early 30s now so a while ago!) hadn’t done any A levels and just went straight from specialist school. Not sure she would totally recommend it as a pathway now, as she didn’t have a normal student experience at all, but she is (probably?!) NT and maybe that would matter less to someone who is ND.

She has a great career now - concerto soloist opportunities starting to come through and lots of excellent chamber music - but I wouldn’t say she’s done any better than she would have if she’d done the normal route. Again though that’s probably because she didn’t really need or want to escape school in the way that others might. She ended up doing what she did essentially because she has a very pushy parent who wanted her to be a prodigy! But it’s all worked out fine for her, and for the other person I know who did similar (but know less well).

Coming to the end of the summer. Almost time for a new thread! We are finally having a music free week. DD had an amazing week earlier in the summer at NCO, made lots of friends and is now desperate to get back in. It’s a far cry from the Easter course where she hated it for the first couple of days and wanted to come home. Thankfully that got better quickly then and hopefully it’s helped her realise that things can improve even if you don’t know anyone!

She also loved the piano course at wells, she was less excited about it this year as didn’t know anyone doing her week but has a brilliant time, made friends and really enjoyed the piano playing. They do a lovely concert at the end and you can really hear the progress made.

last week was the local youth orchestra. Might have just been one course too far as 3 weeks music in 5.5 weeks of school holiday is probably too much, but she was pretty much over it. Thankfully it’s a non residential course, but might be giving that one a break for a while for her!

@northerngoldilocks - did she have Mr Tong on the Wells course? He was DD's teacher and she loved him?

Glad everyone has had a good summer. DD has been jetting around Europe on music courses - a week in Austria, a week in St Andrews and she and I are off to SIena next week - her for another course and me for the lounge by the pool and the culture.

I always forget there are piano courses too. Must see if I can get DD to one sometime, she loves playing the piano and is pretty good to my ear but it's always taken back seat to orchestral options. Sounds like wells is generally approved?

Wells sounds fab. We’ve one more harp course to go. Both kids doing it and can’t wait. I was a bit - we’ve overdone the courses this year, but apparently it has been ‘the best summer ever’. 😂

Crikey. I feel like horrendously slack parent. DS has only done a French horn summer school, and is about to do local orchestra next week. No piano or singing. But he has, to give him credit, been working on his essays etc to maximise chance of offers from chosen unis.

He’s declared he doesn’t really like residentials, as it’s a lot of social pressure if you don’t know anyone. Or if you do, but don’t like them!

One course each for mine too - NCO for DD, DS picked a brass course he knew friends were going to. It's definitely about the social side for him. Fingers crossed this will translate to some social playing at uni. I only wish he'd started on schoolwork or even decided which were his favourite unis, I just get moaned at if I try to suggest doing something about these things. (Also y12).

@Londonmummy66yes Joe Tong runs the course and she did some classes with him. He ran optional sessions too on things like sight reading which she also did. DD said he’s a really good teacher as well as being lovely so that’s great. The tutors on the piano course have all been really great both years so would definitely recommend for anyone looking for an option for pianists. They do duet classes as well as individual lessons / masterclasses etc so there are opportunities to develop different skills.

We're only getting aerated about university choices as Oxbridge applications have to be in mid October. And you have to apply for all of them at that point, rather than the January deadline for non-Oxbridge.

I'm worried autumn open days will get booked up, DS hasn't even looked yet. And once we're into term time he will feel overwhelmed with schoolwork again (in DS-world an hour of homework a day feels like overwhelm, even when he has more than an hour of free periods). Edit: sorry straying from the music topic rather.

@herbaceous I might be wrong, but as far as I understand it, you can put your Oxbridge choice down and then submit form, then add other choices later. Obviously it's the same personal statement. I think the school will dissuade you but I would check it out properly as they may not have to rush the other choices.