Not good at football ds- should he stay at football club

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It's a free football club at the school once a week. We spoke with ds and decided to put his name down for him to give it a go.

He is very bad at it apparently. From what I understand, KS2 boys are given a ball and play a match. He's seven and small for his age. Not very 'sporty' (he is very active!), no ball skills, etc. He was already 'told off' last time by the teacher for not kicking the ball. He says he never gets near it ever.

Would you encourage to keep at it or is this just terrible for his confidence and just giving the rest of his classmates a reason to pick on him?

@Trivialhirsute a lot of parents push boys especially to be training several days a week. It's either chasing their academy dream or just linked to ego to be the best. It's an alpha male thing. It does happen with girls & football but not to the same degree

A lot of the boys will be playing for clubs outside of school so in a situation where they are organised into a match and left to get in with it the difference in ability will be very obvious.

Does he want to play football? If so might be best to go to some out of school training. If it's more something to do and because it's free is there another club be could join?

If he wants to play I would find him a drop in session at a local football club. It won’t be hugely expensive and they should teach him skills.

The risk of keeping him in the school one is that it might put him off football and in turn other sports as it sounds so rubbish.

Agreed! It’s ridiculous but my son was playing matches in a league with his club at the age of 5 (admittedly playing with the year above so they were 6/7). Some kids will be doing 2 x weekly training plus matches at the OP’s son’s age, so there is quite a difference between that and a relative beginner.

The set up at the club also seems odd - a massive 11 year old Y6 could do a lot of damage to a small seven year old if they clatter into him. At my kids’ school, Y3 and Y6 aren’t allowed on the pitch at the same time during regular playtime to avoid this kind of situation (they have a rota).

As others have said, it might be best to find a club outside school that has a wide ability range so OP’s son can learn skills etc. and then progress to the competitive team if he likes it and gets on well. If not, nothing lost - I have two boys and I do think it helps with friendships etc. to be able to play to a basic level, know the rules etc. (e.g. when meeting new children when moving school, on holiday).

My ds11 has been playing football since he was 6. He would be a strong player but all the kids were of varying levels all the way up. Some gave up and some kept going. Now they have been graded for u12 and ds is on the premier team but there’s 2 other teams for kids that are not as strong. One of them is called a developing team. They are still very young and some kids don’t come into their own for ages. I have a ds20 who plays so have seen all this before. If your ds likes it then at 7 I’d be letting him do it. Can you register him with an actual club?

@metellaestinatrio that's a great example. FA rules are very strict that DC can't play in organised leagues until they have turned 6. Yet it goes on. Reception boys in organised matches.
Leagues start at year 2 officially.
Year 1s who are 6 can play up a year if ready. Age 5 shouldn't be there.. but they are in reality. Just not league approved as they can't be on the age ID system.

My 7yo is not particularly athletic, but this (NZ) term he is the most active of all my kids, with (after school) swimming lessons, tennis, and two team sports. He often comes away saying he was the worst and with a massive downer on himself. I just explain that it's important to practice so he gets better, and he has over the last few weeks. He still sometimes gets upset about his performance but I won't let him quit, because doing that just teaches him that if things get tough he should just bail out.

In NZ, sports are about kids having fun at primary school age, which makes them more accessible than if they have a real competitive undertone.

I would encourage him to keep going.

Agree it's entirely down to his enjoyment and not his skill, although knowing kids he will probably soon go off it as no one will trust him enough to pass to him.

Having the exact same thing with DS at the moment! In fact I am wondering if it’s the same school… He quite liked it in reception/KS1, but has hated it this year as he never gets the ball and is shouted at by his Y6 “teammates” for mistakes he doesn’t even understand he is making (mostly being offside).

He’s great at rugby (despite being small - good at drop kicking and passing, and really enthusiastic defender), good at swimming and tennis, and honestly I’m wondering if this club is worth the bother. Definitely not having fun any more.

The rugby club takes teams to lots of county tournaments, it’s serious, but the coaches focus on everyone being included, on teamship, and on everyone getting a turn, and it is a very fun and happy place. DS comes out of practice buzzing and full of stories of what he achieved that morning. The football club doesn’t play matches and is basically some drills then a mixed age five-a-side game after school, and yet is this hyper-competitive nightmare.

I’d politely encourage him to try other sports until he finds something he’s a better fit for. I was miserably bad at hockey and netball at school, and presumed I’d just always hate sports until my parents kindly prompted me to try rowing at about 14. Five years later I was rowing for my university (and for a Thames ridgeway club after that).

@whiteboardking that’s interesting, I had no idea! My DS was actually in Y1, not Reception, when playing matches for the U7s, but is a summer baby so was aged five for the whole season. I remember at one tournament we had to give their dates of birth - he would still have been five then and no-one said anything!

My son struggled with the school club. I had sent him to a paid for holiday one with "Chelsea", I wish I'd kept him going there as they were far more encouraging and he might have improved enough for the in school one.

@metellaestinatrio yes it's national rule. Has been for donkeys years. All teams have photo id sheets & clubs should verify ages...

How is he now? Maybe have a word with the coaches to be more supportive and help him. Practise helps but so does support from the coaches.

Thanks for the responses. All very helpful.

@heartbroken22 He did manage to stick with it until the end of term (last session was yesterday), although to be fair there were many cancellations due to weather, etc.
He has found a position for himself, defence, and has made a new friend (from year 6)! So not a complete disaster.

I am looking into signing him up for the right level football training outside school from spring term. He also did a bit of tag rugby, which he enjoyed more, so might also just stick to that.